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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been irrationally angry at the woman at the till?

63 replies

Humpfree · 07/11/2023 16:43

I was in a shop today, I was waiting to pay for 3 items. A woman in front of me getting served. Whilst waiting I noticed one of my items was faulty so whilst woman in front was still being served I said to cashier “im just going to pop these on here (on the side, not the belt) whilst I pick up another one of these as this is faulty”. She smiled and said ok.

I made a point of doing a little run to make it obvious I was going to be quick. When I got back less than a minute later the woman that was behind me originally had started loading her full 2 baskets of stuff onto the belt. The woman in front was still being served so it’s not like I was holding up proceedings. She could see I only had 3 items 😡 anyway … onwards and upwards. - so I stood behind her whilst she unloaded all her stuff. When it came to paying for it - she stood there faffing on her phone for ages - even the cashier rolled her eyes. Eventually she paid with her phone and asked if it had worked. Cashier rolled her eyes again and said “nope, it’s been declined” … woman then starts faffing with her phone again. There is now a big line of people behind me. Cashier asks for assistance and to open another till, I then took my 3 items and jumped to the other till —- beep beep beep - paid - done.

As I walked out I passed the first till where woman had only just managed to pay and was sorting out her crap at the belt further holding the line up.

AIBU to have felt extreme irritation at this woman? Why would just jump in front of someone with only 3 items with 2 full baskets of crap? And then to not be ready to pay properly?!

Hormones may be playing a part in my reaction.

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 07/11/2023 16:47

Because some people don’t notice what’s going on around them. If there’s someone behind me with a couple of items, when I have a trolley, I let them go in front. It doesn’t usually work the other way round.

Dacadactyl · 07/11/2023 16:57

I'd have just said "excuse me, I was in front of you. I just went to swap this item." And then gone and stood in front of her with a smile.

Or, alternatively I'd have said "I've only got these 3 items, do you mind if I jump in front?"
FWIW, no one has ever said no when I've asked this one, even if they were there first.

Hermittrismegistus · 07/11/2023 17:02

She might now have heard say anything to the cashier before you went to swap the item. Many people have some form of hearing loss or are simply just lost in their own thoughts. I'd think with the payment issue that she was still getting used to using her phone.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 07/11/2023 17:04

The cashier sounds rude AF.

This is why I avoid shops. I CBA with someone rolling their eyes at me.

Fionaville · 07/11/2023 17:06

You should have just walked in front of her with your 3 items. She was rude or she may have been distracted about something (possibly wondering if she had sufficient funds to pay by the sound of it) Either way, it's not unreasonable for you to be quietly seething at her for pushing in front of you.

littlebirdieblu · 07/11/2023 17:09

Crikey you sound so entitled. How do you know that while you were getting your replacement belt the cashier didn't beckon to the next person in the queue to move forward. Your whole post about the woman in front of you is disgusting, you know nothing about her circumstances, why her first payment was declined or why she wasn't functioning as quickly as you would have liked. Try and have some patience next time and remember the world does not revolve around you.

TheresaCrowd · 07/11/2023 17:10

What happened to your voice? Confused

You were massively unreasonable for not saying 'Hang on a sec, I just went to change this'.

Madness.

FreeezePeach · 07/11/2023 17:13

I'd have just said "excuse me, I was in front of you. I just went to swap this item." And then gone and stood in front of her with a smile.

Exactly, most people would have given this completely normal response.

OP, if you're going to be a wet lettuce, there's no point on getting angry at anyone except yourself.

And as for blaming 'hormones' 🙄

SugaredCookie · 07/11/2023 17:14

Omg that’s so rude. It was probably the cashier who called her up though to be fair, she sounds quite impatient if she was eye rolling at the woman trying to pay

Gowlett · 07/11/2023 17:15

If I left a queue, I’d bring my items & rejoin the queue.

YabbaDabbaDooooo · 07/11/2023 17:17

Yes your anger is irrational OP because it should be aimed at yourself, for not using basic normal communication.

stopringingme · 07/11/2023 17:17

Why did you not leave the other two items on the conveyor so you could just pop back in place.

Also why does everything have to be blamed on hormones on mumsnet these days 😒

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 07/11/2023 17:18

Gowlett · 07/11/2023 17:15

If I left a queue, I’d bring my items & rejoin the queue.

Yeah sorry I agree with this, I wouldn't expect to go back in the same place unless I'd already put my items on the belt.

As for the women's payment not working straight away, thats not really he fault is it?

Growlybear83 · 07/11/2023 17:19

If you didn't leave your other two items on the conveyor belt while you went to get a replacement for the damaged item then I don't think you have any right to expect to go back to the same place in the queue. It would have been different if you'd left your two items on the belt.

Topseyt123 · 07/11/2023 17:21

You'd left the queue though. You can't just expect to rejoin it at the same place if things moved on in your absence.

I would have begun unloading my stuff too, although I might have said you could go ahead of me if I was feeling charitable and saw you return with just three items. You can't count on it though. You should probably have stayed put and then asked the cashier if they or another member of staff could fetch a replacement item for the broken one.

Hotandsunny · 07/11/2023 17:22

This could have been me. I struggle with the overstimulation in shops (autistic). If you had not put your things on the belt I may not have realised you were next/coming back. If you'd asked me politely I would have let you in front. I sometimes get flustered paying. If I realised people were rolling their eyes at me I would be crushed 😔

I had an awful experience at the shops yesterday. I was buying 2 glass mugs. They were very breakable. As usual I asked if she had something I could wrap it with and she said 'no'. I asked if she could ask someone to get something and she just started saying irritably that if she had something she would give it to me. I'd paid at this point and said ok, I'll try and wrap them in bags. I moved out of the way of the next customer to wrap them on the end of an empty till. She then noticed and started screaming at me for wrapping the mugs in bags as they had to be paid for (no problem for me to pay 50p or whatever if just asked!). I replied angrily that I was using them as she wouldn't get anything to wrap them in! I asked for a manager to be called and as I spoke to him she started screaming at me again for 'not respecting her'. The manager immediately got a member of staff to get suitable wrapping and apologised profusely while helping me wrap the mugs. The cashier stormed off. A couple of other customers came up and told the manager that she was very rude to me and asked if I was ok. It was crazy!

Luxell934 · 07/11/2023 17:23

Growlybear83 · 07/11/2023 17:19

If you didn't leave your other two items on the conveyor belt while you went to get a replacement for the damaged item then I don't think you have any right to expect to go back to the same place in the queue. It would have been different if you'd left your two items on the belt.

This.

You left the queue.

& the woman on the till sounds horribly rude rolling her eyes at the woman trying to pay.

Honestly if I was you I wouldn't even have given this encounter a second thought after I left the store.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/11/2023 17:25

As a cashier it's one of my pet hates, people popping out of a queue and then coming back again. We've no real idea of whether you actually have just gone to change one item or whether you've then had your attention gripped by some other items which you've picked up, then realised you've forgotten strawberries, gone back to fresh fruit and taken some, then gone up to fetch some cream to go with them, then picked up a basket to put all the stuff in, and then popped over to Household to fetch some cleaning stuff...

it happens every. single. day.

If you step out of the queue, unless you are back within seconds, you requeue. I've got people to serve who will start complaining like crazy if I stop serving and wait for you to get back (they ALSO don't know whether you've dashed for one thing or are going to take your time and cruise the whole shop for other items whilst holding up the queue).

Itsnotchristmasyet · 07/11/2023 17:27

Were your other items on the belt?

If they were, then I’d have said excuse me and gone in front of her.

If they weren’t, then you left the queue and it’s fair enough that you joined the queue behind her.

MereDintofPandiculation · 07/11/2023 17:32

You could have waited till it was your turn, then pointed out the defect. Cashier would then have called someone to get you a replacement. Or you could have got a replacement when you’d paid.

Either way, you could have defended your place

PictureOfFlorianTray · 07/11/2023 17:36

MN non issue no #274

Soontobe60 · 07/11/2023 17:39

littlebirdieblu · 07/11/2023 17:09

Crikey you sound so entitled. How do you know that while you were getting your replacement belt the cashier didn't beckon to the next person in the queue to move forward. Your whole post about the woman in front of you is disgusting, you know nothing about her circumstances, why her first payment was declined or why she wasn't functioning as quickly as you would have liked. Try and have some patience next time and remember the world does not revolve around you.

This!

BitofaStramash · 07/11/2023 17:41

You left the queue OP.

goalgrey · 07/11/2023 17:46

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 07/11/2023 17:25

As a cashier it's one of my pet hates, people popping out of a queue and then coming back again. We've no real idea of whether you actually have just gone to change one item or whether you've then had your attention gripped by some other items which you've picked up, then realised you've forgotten strawberries, gone back to fresh fruit and taken some, then gone up to fetch some cream to go with them, then picked up a basket to put all the stuff in, and then popped over to Household to fetch some cleaning stuff...

it happens every. single. day.

If you step out of the queue, unless you are back within seconds, you requeue. I've got people to serve who will start complaining like crazy if I stop serving and wait for you to get back (they ALSO don't know whether you've dashed for one thing or are going to take your time and cruise the whole shop for other items whilst holding up the queue).

I think this is a very good point and changed my whole perspective. I was previously in full agreement with you (although also wonder why you didn't use your voice)
But actually yeh, nobody knows if you genuinely are going to come straight back. If they waited and you didn't come straight back everyone would be fuming...
so it make sense to just crack on and then if you do come straight back they might expect you to speak up for yourself and everyone would have probably had no issue letting you back in

TheDandyLion · 07/11/2023 17:49

If you leave the queue you go to back of the queue. If I were the second woman I probably would have let you go ahead as you only had 3 items but only if there were no-one behind me.

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