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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been irrationally angry at the woman at the till?

63 replies

Humpfree · 07/11/2023 16:43

I was in a shop today, I was waiting to pay for 3 items. A woman in front of me getting served. Whilst waiting I noticed one of my items was faulty so whilst woman in front was still being served I said to cashier “im just going to pop these on here (on the side, not the belt) whilst I pick up another one of these as this is faulty”. She smiled and said ok.

I made a point of doing a little run to make it obvious I was going to be quick. When I got back less than a minute later the woman that was behind me originally had started loading her full 2 baskets of stuff onto the belt. The woman in front was still being served so it’s not like I was holding up proceedings. She could see I only had 3 items 😡 anyway … onwards and upwards. - so I stood behind her whilst she unloaded all her stuff. When it came to paying for it - she stood there faffing on her phone for ages - even the cashier rolled her eyes. Eventually she paid with her phone and asked if it had worked. Cashier rolled her eyes again and said “nope, it’s been declined” … woman then starts faffing with her phone again. There is now a big line of people behind me. Cashier asks for assistance and to open another till, I then took my 3 items and jumped to the other till —- beep beep beep - paid - done.

As I walked out I passed the first till where woman had only just managed to pay and was sorting out her crap at the belt further holding the line up.

AIBU to have felt extreme irritation at this woman? Why would just jump in front of someone with only 3 items with 2 full baskets of crap? And then to not be ready to pay properly?!

Hormones may be playing a part in my reaction.

OP posts:
SweetBirdsong · 07/11/2023 17:51

littlebirdieblu · 07/11/2023 17:09

Crikey you sound so entitled. How do you know that while you were getting your replacement belt the cashier didn't beckon to the next person in the queue to move forward. Your whole post about the woman in front of you is disgusting, you know nothing about her circumstances, why her first payment was declined or why she wasn't functioning as quickly as you would have liked. Try and have some patience next time and remember the world does not revolve around you.

This. ^ I do get so annoyed when someone in front of me has their items at the till and then pisses off back into the store because they 'forgot something' or one of their items is faulty. They hold the queue up, (because it's usually in the middle of their transaction.) They also don't give a crap - ever. They never apologise!

I would have done the same if I had been that woman. Why should she wait for you? Why does your time trump hers @Humpfree ? Also, why does your time trump everyone else's in the queue?

Also, as this poster said, how do you know the checkout operator didn't call her forwards? Confused

YABVVVU and entitled and rude. And you don't automatically deserve to go through first because you had fewer items either. I often do let someone with less than half a dozen items go through, if I have 20+/a trolley full, but I would be reluctant to if someone asked, (as a pp said she does.) It's so cheeky to ask!

I had a woman ask me to go in front some months back - in Lidl - as she was 'in a rush.' She had 6 items, I had 9. I said, 'well I am in a rush too, and I have just 3 items more than you, so I'm going to say no.' She was disgusted and stormed off in a strop to another checkout.

I went through with my items, packed them at the packing shelf, and stopped to talk to a chap on the out who asked me the way to the library, and then walked around to my car. Some 4-5 minutes has passed after I had left, and I saw her though the window. She was still at the (other) checkout, waiting!😆

Moveoverdarlin · 07/11/2023 17:53

You left your items on the side (not the conveyer belt) and then disappeared. How did the woman even know you existed? I wouldn’t wait for someone that wasn’t there, neither was their shopping.

Chanelbasketballandchain · 07/11/2023 17:55

Growlybear83 · 07/11/2023 17:19

If you didn't leave your other two items on the conveyor belt while you went to get a replacement for the damaged item then I don't think you have any right to expect to go back to the same place in the queue. It would have been different if you'd left your two items on the belt.

exactly, how bizarre to expect the other woman to be a mind reader.

WHY didn't you leave your 2 items?

Zebedee55 · 07/11/2023 17:57

Gowlett · 07/11/2023 17:15

If I left a queue, I’d bring my items & rejoin the queue.

That's what most of us would do...🙄

mondaytosunday · 07/11/2023 17:58

Really? I tried ta pay with my phone today and it just would not work. It kept beeping but the register wasn't picking it up. I did not want to use my credit card but in the end I did. The whole thing took, gosh, 15 seconds? I'm glad I didn't have a rude cashier rolling her eyes making me feel foolish and an obviously irritated customer behind me (granted I wouldn't have taken your spot). It's like people getting impatient behind learner drivers - be patient and be kind!

Toottooot · 07/11/2023 17:59

Nae luck min.

margotrose · 07/11/2023 18:05

Did you leave your other two items on the conveyor belt or not?

If you did, YANBU, but you should have spoken up for yourself.
If you didn't, YABU. You can't leave the queue and expect to re-join in the same place.

ChesterAndRaoul · 07/11/2023 18:13

Shops usually have runners for this type of stuff, if an item is faulty (not just if you've forgotten something) you can have it scanned at the checkout and pay while a runner goes back into the store to pick up the replacement. You just have to ask the cashier to put their light on.

With regards to this occasion, you purposely didn't leave your items on the conveyer belt so you were not in the queue. YABU.

Allwelcone · 07/11/2023 18:14

I had this! I was second in a really busy london station ticket queue and quickly answered my phone necessitating rummaging in my large travel handbag which i put on the side of the ticket window for about 3 seconds. When i took a step back to the queue a really horrible woman refused to let me rejoin!
She was really insistent - i was basically fish gulping in surprise. Thank god the lovely passengers in the next queue saw it all and let me go in front of them, otherwise i'd have missed my train.

Homesweethome23 · 07/11/2023 18:25

You left the queue.

Why didn’t you say to the person behind what you was going to do? They may not have heard you say anything to the cashier and just assumed you had gone. I have relatives who are deaf and would not have heard for example.

Why didn’t you put your things on the belt and then nip and change the item?

The whole situation was caused by you tbh doesn’t matter how much shopping the other person had or that they faffed about.

Georgyporky · 07/11/2023 18:26

I wouldn't have left the queue, just told the cashier about the faulty item & they would have called for assistance to get it changed.

welcometothnuthouse · 07/11/2023 18:27

The cashier sounds rude, you sound wet for not speaking up and the other woman a pita. She was buying crap? Guess you were too and jog on with the 'hormones' shite because it reflects so badly on women and reenforces the shite women have to put up with from some men.

overwhelmed2023 · 07/11/2023 18:27

Did you put your items on the conveyor? That way there's no ambiguity

Forsakenalmosthuman · 07/11/2023 18:29

The day I start getting upset at supermarket queues will, I hope, never dawn.

All this anger that only hurts you.

Why.

stemmedroses · 07/11/2023 18:32

I agree with others that say you left the queue but the best thing about this post is I made a point of doing a little run to make it obvious I was going to be quick. Maybe the woman behind you isn't aware of a little run being the recognised sign of someone that's going to be quick 😂

Deathbyfluffy · 07/11/2023 18:34

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 07/11/2023 17:04

The cashier sounds rude AF.

This is why I avoid shops. I CBA with someone rolling their eyes at me.

Then don't take the piss and hold everyone up, and it won't happen. 😄

Gerrataere · 07/11/2023 18:34

Sorry but you left the queue area. If the other two items were on the belt then fair enough I guess but if it was me behind you I’d not have paid attention to your ‘whoopsie’ and just assumed you left. I won’t lie though, it’s a massive pet peeve of mine when people start putting shopping on the belt then run off for a couple more ‘bits’….

Reminds me of that Friends episode, the one where no one is ready. The whole fiasco about ‘my chair’ despite having got up and left it free.

DoktorPeppa · 07/11/2023 18:36

Yabu, you left the queue.

If I had been the woman behind I would have started to go through with my stuff too - not stand there like a lemon waiting for somebody who may or may not return!

ColleenDonaghy · 07/11/2023 18:41

You were a CF to leave the queue and expect to rejoin it. I hate a faffer but you were way worse.

Towwanthustice · 07/11/2023 18:42

In this day and age we just have to try and be kind.... And patient.
We don't know what this person is thinking or going through.
Yes stuff can be annoying, I get annoyed but I just try and not judge. It's obv she may have had money problems with her card not working.
I get it! But like others have said she may have had stiff on her mind and not realised

welcometothnuthouse · 07/11/2023 18:52

Fuck being kind, if you had bowled back in front of me, having been there, disappeaered then reappeared without reason I would have told you to jog on and get in the queue.

Chocolatepumpkin · 07/11/2023 18:57

It really annoys me when people go to fetch something quickly and by the time they have returned looks like they've played supermarket sweep. Cashier was probably just reacting to you eyeballing them i imagine, you left the queue so lost your place.
Also people with only a few items feeling entitled to be allowed to skip the queue, if I'm doing my weekly shop I'd potentially be there until closing.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 07/11/2023 19:01

I get that it's annoying, but it, or something similar, has happened to all of us at some stage. It hardly qualifies for such anger and a MN post!

Sierra26 · 07/11/2023 19:09

She may have just not noticed you.

I was once queuing at supermarket with a trolley and person behind me only had one item, so I suggested they went ahead of me and we swapped positions. The person who had been behind them (and was now behind me) hadn’t seen this happen and all they noticed was a different person (me) being in front of them. They started challenging me for pushing in, and when I defended myself they became really verbally aggressive. I didn’t give in and they ended up telling me I was a terrible human the whole time I was putting my shopping through. They physically couldn’t even begin to consider that they might have been wrong.

i was so surprised they hadn’t noticed me, surprised they wouldn’t consider being wrong, and surprised they wouldn’t take my word for it without knowing anything about me, and just assumed I’d done wrong and then lied about it.

still boils my blood to this day and obviously I continue to overthink and analyse it all 😂

so yes my point is - they may not have noticed you regardless do how obvious it all might have seemed.

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