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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Chickenpox School Drama

63 replies

Deidres · 07/11/2023 13:14

Someone please tell me I’m not insane
(NC for this)

My eldest (DS5) is in reception and had Chickenpox about 6 weeks ago. Had two weeks off school.

my youngest DS (26m) has now got it, usually goes to nursery but obviously is off. It’s very mild to the point I doubted it would be CP but the GP Has said it is and sometimes it can incubate for that long.

one of the mums from the WhatsApp class group has text me saying it’s not appropriate for me to bring my oldest DC in? Her argument was that there are a few of them with very young babies/newborns and it could be dangerous if they got it. My oldest shouldn’t be going in because he is “in contact” with it and could pass it on to their kids who could subsequently pass on to baby siblings.

When I said this isn’t going to happen (politely) she told me that I’m already looking after youngest so what’s the difference with another at home? I told her that’s not the point when DS5 has already missed plenty of school due to having chickenpox himself.

Now there is a passive aggressive reminder on the WhatsApp group reminding everyone to “be considerate of other families” not to send their children to school if they are unwell… not from the same mum but another one who she is good friends with

seriosuly? DS isn’t even ill , his brother is! And he’s had it so really unlikely he will pass it on.

Tell me this is batshit please because it’s really wound me up

OP posts:
catherinewales · 07/11/2023 13:28

They are absolute idiots. I wouldn't even give them the time. Ignore them. Your child isn't contagious and that's that.

Cloudysky81 · 07/11/2023 13:28

She doesn’t seem to understand basic immunity. Ignore her, or send her a immunology text book.

Creativebee · 07/11/2023 13:28

Follow the school policy, ask the staff at school if it is necessary to keep your eldest off because sibling has CP, I'm very sure the answer will be no but at least you will be able to say that in the group chat that school have said it is not necessary.

Original poster
Deidres · 07/11/2023 13:29

Crunchymum · 07/11/2023 13:22

How does the reception class WhatsApp know your youngest has CP?

when I dropped off DS at school I had to bring the youngest with me. He was in his buggy and we stood well away from everyone. Someone asked why he wasn’t at nursery because I usually don’t have any other kids with me at drop off (we do nursery run first)

It’s purely a reception class WhatsApp

OP posts:
Rycbar · 07/11/2023 13:29

Hi! Reception teacher here - she’s being ridiculous. Chicken pox is contagious before it comes out in spots anyway so anyone in school could have it - your son is probably the least likely to have it as he’s just had it himself!! School WhatsApp groups are literally the bane of my life.

mindutopia · 07/11/2023 13:30

I would inclined to simply say that you are following school policy on attendance and thank them for their concern passive aggressively. Our school is very pro-send them in unless they have the plague, so it would absolutely not be acceptable to keep a child off who wasn't infectious simply because a sibling was ill. It would impact on attendance numbers for the school as a whole, never mind the learning of the student in question. You could be fined too.

If it becomes an ongoing issue, I'd mention it as a concern to the school and then can send around a reminder of the policy to everyone. Our school is forever sending out reminders about what is an acceptable illness for an authorised absence and to send them in with a cough because they don't want to miss their targets, etc.

Original poster
Deidres · 07/11/2023 13:31

No one so far has replied to the message in the group because I’m pretty sure a lot of them are just confused 😂 waiting for the “why was that all about” chats at pick up …. Lord help me

OP posts:
Aturtleatemysandwich · 07/11/2023 13:33

This is why I reserve my interaction with these sorts of groups to the occasional reading of messages, and once a plea for a lost jumper. It’s simply not a parental WhatsApp group’s job to be policing other people’s kids and attendance and they’re hugely overstepping. Stop responding and carry on with what you’re doing.

You would be completely ridiculous not to send your child into school and the school would be on your case about it as an unauthorised absence. If she is that concerned about her baby catching common childhood diseases she needs to keep her own children at home - and in any case she’s presumably vaccinated her oldest (as she’s so concerned) and therefore has nothing to worry about anyway….

fearfuloffluff · 07/11/2023 13:34

If she was worried, she could have her schoolchild vaccinated against it so he/she wouldn't bring it home.

Original poster
Deidres · 07/11/2023 13:35

Just to be clear she didn’t do this publicly, she messaged me singularly but the “please be considerate” message popped up on the group WhatsApp after

OP posts:
lilyblue5 · 07/11/2023 13:36

I don’t think she understands how CP is contracted. He’s had it so is now safe?

lilyblue5 · 07/11/2023 13:37

fearfuloffluff · 07/11/2023 13:34

If she was worried, she could have her schoolchild vaccinated against it so he/she wouldn't bring it home.

This

lilyblue5 · 07/11/2023 13:38

Good luck to her trying to police this. School won’t let you take the kid out if they are well anyway, ofstead absence targets and all that.

lilyblue5 · 07/11/2023 13:39

Deidres · 07/11/2023 13:31

No one so far has replied to the message in the group because I’m pretty sure a lot of them are just confused 😂 waiting for the “why was that all about” chats at pick up …. Lord help me

Just shrug and say no idea

ColleenDonaghy · 07/11/2023 13:43

Time for a passive aggressive reply of your own. "Oh it's such a nasty one isn't it, Jack was off for two whole weeks when he had it recently. So glad he's immune now!"

DoooooWhoop · 07/11/2023 13:45

She is being ridiculous! I would remove myself from the WhatsApp group.

lilyblue5 · 07/11/2023 13:47

Maybe ‘like’ the whats app post just to be annoying? 😏

MaggieFS · 07/11/2023 13:53

I struggle to ignore sometimes. I'd be so tempted to reply "if that's aimed at me, I'm still waiting for xx (mum A) to send me the medical reason why DC can't be at school given her private messages to be indicate she knows more than the NHS".

I mean I probably wouldn't sent it, but I just might after a couple of wines.

margegunderson · 07/11/2023 13:53

frequently astounded by the lack of scientific or medical knowledge some people have. I'd be tempted to post the definition of immunity for the hard of thinking on your WhatsApp group.

CaineRaine · 07/11/2023 13:56

The passive aggressive 👍 was invented for these types of occasions - I’d be 100% putting that in the WhatsApp group!

MaggieFS · 07/11/2023 14:01

CaineRaine · 07/11/2023 13:56

The passive aggressive 👍 was invented for these types of occasions - I’d be 100% putting that in the WhatsApp group!

Yes, actually that's better.

SandyWaves · 07/11/2023 14:05

I would ask the school to send a general email confirming when kids should be off and when they should be in. Both of these idiots will look stupid. Do that.

WowOK · 07/11/2023 14:11

Our school sent this out at this at the beginning of the school year.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/is-my-child-too-ill-for-school/

They start harassing you after 5 days if your kid has chicken pox. You'd get told you were batshit if you kept a sibling off because of chicken pox in the house.

nhs.uk

Is my child too ill for school?

Find out when it's best to keep your sick child at home and when it's OK to send them to school or nursery.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/is-my-child-too-ill-for-school

WB205020 · 07/11/2023 14:12

@Deidres Depends how brave you are but I might be tempted to reply to the whatsapp and say 'does that include keeping kids off when their siblings are unwell too?' and see what comes back from it. Baiting I know but could cause a few others to provably tell her to FO!

LakeTiticaca · 07/11/2023 14:30

I remember the good old days
Chicken pox parties
No WhatsApp

😉😉