Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age did your children stop believing in father christmas....

43 replies

mooneigh · 07/11/2023 13:08

At what age did your children stop believeing in father christmas. Did you tell them or did they find out through school/ friends etc ?

My 12 yr old still believes, hubby thinks we should tell her, but life is so rubbish, and she has been through a lot with her health, I feel there is no harm in her thinking it's all real is there.

Although, things are tight and won't be able to get much this year and worried she will be think she has been bad or did something wrong to not get so much as she usually would. It is bit of a tricky one... what would you do ?

OP posts:
Riverlee · 07/11/2023 13:12

We told both our dc before starting senior school. At twelve, something should be said., but you can still play the game, get a stocking etc.

i guess it’s harder if you said all the gifts were from Father Christmas. We only did stocking presents.

Riverlee · 07/11/2023 13:13

(We didn’t w as by dc teased in senior school for believing))

crankit · 07/11/2023 13:14

Ds asked me at 9, he said he had googled it 😆

AnnaMagnani · 07/11/2023 13:16

Possibly a better question is what age did adults stop believing.

There are lots of Mumsnetters who swear blind their kids still believe and definitely would not lie about this.

Realistically past the age of 8 I'd expect the majority not to believe, especially in summer, but as it gets nearer Christmas some will start 'believing' again and not risk a conversation with their parents as believing=presents.

DrCoconut · 07/11/2023 13:17

The oldest was 8. Middle 7. Youngest 6. They just worked it out for themselves that it's not logically possible. I think some kids play along with it for far longer than they believe it is literally real. It's fun. Mine still put a stocking out despite knowing its me who fills it 🤣

nofussatall · 07/11/2023 13:19

I believed until I was 11. Parents got round it by saying, Santa only comes until you’re in high school. First year of high school Santa might bring one present but then that’s it - he has lots of younger children to buy for. Then taught the meaning of Christmas through other ways, ie doing a little supermarket shop with £20 on Christmas Eve, buying some nice treats in it and putting it straight into the food bank.

nofussatall · 07/11/2023 13:21

AnnaMagnani · 07/11/2023 13:16

Possibly a better question is what age did adults stop believing.

There are lots of Mumsnetters who swear blind their kids still believe and definitely would not lie about this.

Realistically past the age of 8 I'd expect the majority not to believe, especially in summer, but as it gets nearer Christmas some will start 'believing' again and not risk a conversation with their parents as believing=presents.

I believed till I was 11/12 possibly and we’re not talking ages ago, this was only just over 10 years ago. I did google it but my parents managed to convince me he was real and there were plenty of non believers out there. There’s really no harm in it and they will realise at some point. We are starting a family soon and I will never tell DC there is no Santa, ever. My mum still watches out the window for Santa every Christmas Eve and all us kids have moved out now

Original poster
mooneigh · 07/11/2023 13:25

We had a talk the other day. She said she believes in father christmas and I said what about your friends, she said some do and some don't.

I tried hinting and she then said She believed in father christmas and added, santa must be real because you couldn't afford all the presents I get. I could have cried! She doesn't get a lot. She knows I am skint.

I only did not tell her out right as I did not want it hitting her hard as she has been through a lot lately. My oldest child kind of found out through school and then asked me direct, so it was easier to then say. Although she often says Christmas has never been the same since and it was bit of a blow even though she kind of believed it wasn't real.

However with autism and other health issues my 12 yr old would take it really bad so bit worried.

OP posts:
crankit · 07/11/2023 15:00

mooneigh · 07/11/2023 13:25

We had a talk the other day. She said she believes in father christmas and I said what about your friends, she said some do and some don't.

I tried hinting and she then said She believed in father christmas and added, santa must be real because you couldn't afford all the presents I get. I could have cried! She doesn't get a lot. She knows I am skint.

I only did not tell her out right as I did not want it hitting her hard as she has been through a lot lately. My oldest child kind of found out through school and then asked me direct, so it was easier to then say. Although she often says Christmas has never been the same since and it was bit of a blow even though she kind of believed it wasn't real.

However with autism and other health issues my 12 yr old would take it really bad so bit worried.

Oh bless her, there is no harm in her believing still if it brings her abit of comfort too. Some kids are mean though and would take the piss unfortunately

whosaidtha · 07/11/2023 15:19

I never get the telling kids. Why tell them. My mum always and still does maintain he's real. I worked it out. And it's nice. I think that by senior school even if you do believe you don't tell anyone else.

mondaytosunday · 07/11/2023 15:20

Six or so? My eldest figured it out. He asked if Father Christmas shopped at Tesco! Then he said to tell him the truth and was I actually Santa? I think he managed to play along for the sake of my younger daughter for a couple years.

JoWawa · 07/11/2023 15:21

Aged 69 still comes for me!

sollenwir · 07/11/2023 15:31

Mine never did (as we chose not to lie about it), but I'd say it's probably helpful if they know the truth by the middle of primary school at the latest.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 07/11/2023 15:34

Dd8 still believes and I love how magical it is for her.

She also believes in unicorns. I told her unicorns aren’t real and her reasoning is that we are still discovering animals each day so maybe they just haven’t discovered the unicorn yet. I can’t argue with her logic 😁

mrlistersgelfbride · 07/11/2023 15:39

I vividly remember our class teacher telling us in year 5!
'We all know there's no such thing as father christmas' she said- I didn't! I was nearly 10 and that's how I found out. Imagine the fall out if that happened these days! 😂

DD , almost 6, is starting to doubt.
My friends son, aged 10, still believes.
I reckon about 8 or 9 is average.

aynsleyredder · 07/11/2023 15:45

My daughter turns 10 this month, she still believes despite asking a few times if it’s ‘just your parents’. I will probably say something before she starts secondary if she hasn’t already sussed it.

nickelbabe · 07/11/2023 15:49

Whether or not she actually believes, you still do the same thing, play the game.
Just because you haven't got as much money doesn't mean you can't make it just as special.
You can buy secondhand or refurbished, or just change what you get her and what FC presents.
I'm sure in the fun of it all, she won't notice that she hasn't got loads of stuff.

I can't tell you if your dd still believes or not. Mine is nearly 12 and appears to still believe. I don't know if she does, or if she's going along with it. To be honest, I don't really care, because we'll do Christmas in exactly the same way, just like my parents still did for us.

MonsteraMama · 07/11/2023 15:51

Oh let her hold on to the magic as long as possible.

My daughter stopped believing at about 8 I think. She didn't actually say anything until she was 11 and very earnestly sat us down and told us she knew it was us and that father Christmas is pretend but could we please carry on opening stockings in bed on Christmas morning because she enjoys it so much.

So of course we still do. I still sneak in into her room in the dead of night Christmas eve and put her stocking at the foot of her bed. She still bursts into our room yelling "he's been!" and we still oooh and aaah at her stocking fillers as if we've never seen them before. She's 16 this year. I'm hoping we might have a couple of years of the tradition left still!

bonkersAlice · 07/11/2023 15:54

7 or 8.

Its5656 · 07/11/2023 15:57

Mine was 8, he was told at school. He's 21 now and still expects a glass bottle of Coke in his stocking 😂

RuthW · 07/11/2023 15:58

Can't remember about 7 i think. She started questioning it at 3

UnfortunateTypo · 07/11/2023 16:05

Five, I made the mistake of wrapping Santa presents with regular wrapping (I was particularly exhausted that Christmas!) I used on everyone else’s.

It took her until March to ask me if I was Santa. When I said I was, she was fine about it and laughed. Then followed hours of her coming to ask me if I was also the Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny etc. Her entire belief system fell in a day!

We had to have a chat about not telling her friends and spoiling it for them, which she was very good at. I think they all stopped believing at about 9 or 10?

Dotjones · 07/11/2023 16:06

4/5, about the age they can read and begin to think for themselves. The idea that one person can visit every address on the planet over the course of a day is implausible.

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 07/11/2023 16:14

My eldest was 9, 2nd was 7, 3rd was 6, virtually 7 and my youngest was just 5. He has sen and he actually told his whole class, so I wasn't popular that year. I did explain that he shouldn't tell people but he said it was wrong to lie. I was horrified, he was diagnosed with autism by then and to this day hates any lying but now understands that sometimes if someone lies it doesn't mean he needs to out them. We still carried on with all the traditional things except leaving out a plate for santa. Mine still hung up stocking and I still filled them and still have table presents. We never had elf on the shelf or Xmas eve boxes so that was a bonus

Highlyflavouredgravy · 07/11/2023 16:16

Do you really think your 12 year old who is in secondary education genuinely believes? Really?