What age did your children stop believing in father christmas....

[mooneigh]

At what age did your children stop believeing in father christmas. Did you tell them or did they find out through school/ friends etc ?

My 12 yr old still believes, hubby thinks we should tell her, but life is so rubbish, and she has been through a lot with her health, I feel there is no harm in her thinking it's all real is there.

Although, things are tight and won't be able to get much this year and worried she will be think she has been bad or did something wrong to not get so much as she usually would. It is bit of a tricky one... what would you do ?

😁

As OP has mentioned, her 12 yr old has AUTISM!

DS was 5. DD is nearly 6 and totally still believes. DS loves having a grown-up secret. Last year he kept winking at me whenever DD mentioned FC

I believed until I was about 10 or 11 and I was the youngest of four with plenty of access to the internet. People told me he wasn't real before that and my parents did a good job of convincing me otherwise but I just sort of clocked when I was still in primary school - it suddenly became obvious to me.

Your daughter being autistic makes it a tricky situation. Is she at a mainstream school? If so, I think I would be more likely to try to break it to her. Maybe let her have this year believing though.

Please tell her it is difficult enough for her with autism let alone being teased for still believing in a Father Christmas

My mum did a,stocking for me and my sister well.into our 20,s obviously we hadn't believed for many years at that might but it was a nice tradition.

I think the actual age they stopped believing was around 8 (didn't help that I left a price sticker on a football annual for DS)! They played along for another couple of years, we all knew they didn't believe and I'd get little looks when I mentioned FC. Before they went to secondary school I did confirm that it wasn't real, but told them that they are also Father Christmas as well now and have to keep it up for the younger kids so as not to spoil it.

Mine stopped believing around 10. They just gradually figured it out themselves.

Thank you everyone so much. Wow so many different thoughts on the matter.

To those who think 12 is too old to still be a believer.

I don't know and this is why I am asking... But as someone had said back to you. My daughter has autism and even though she is 12 she has a mental age of about 6. So this makes it all the more difficult.

Apparently some of her friends at school still believe too, I am not sure if they genuinly believe or they are saying it to make her feel better as they are lovely caring friends.

Yes she is in a mainstream school however she is with the SEND team so it's not like she is properly in the main school with all the other children.

Thank you again and some good tips and ideas have been mentioned. ❤

After I told youngest DS the tooth fairy wasn't real (age 10!!) and he was really upset I'm never, ever admitting Santa isn't real. He can say what he likes and believe what he likes but it's not coming from me. I will still be looking out of the window on Christmas Eve and asking if anyone can hear sleigh bells when he's 30

My two were about 8 or 9 or just over, and both took it quite differently. DC1 had doubts and asked me shortly after Christmas, I confirmed it and they weren’t fussed in the slightest. But that’s their personality in general 😆

DC2 also had doubts, and kept asking in hints. I didn’t admit it right away because I knew how they would react. When I confirmed it finally they were quite upset. They knew in their heart but didn’t want to truly believe it. I felt bad, but when they realised nothing really changed at Christmas they were OK.

Both kids are autistic, but clearly very different in personality! I have a few teacher friends and they all say that many children in upper primary still believe nowadays, it’s not all that out of the ordinary.

My dc still have a stocking and leave out milk, cookies and a carrot for the reindeer and we watch Santa tracker on Christmas Eve - they’re 18 and 23 🤣 it’s just tradition!

However I think ds23 was about 7 when they found out. Ds18 was younger maybe 5 as he told his older brother that he’d found his Christmas presents and did he want to have a peep at them with him lol.

Well lots of adults believe strong that their religion is real so it's definitely possibly to believe something that isn't true, because they can't all be right.

It is down to how much a parent wants their child to believe at that age and how good they are at acting and coming up with plausiblish answers to the questions at that age.

All the people who happily state their three and five year olds worked it out because they are such logical thinkers. I find it incredibly sad that small kids have the idea of magic and wishes coming true, crushed at such a young age.

I wouldn’t let your DC go into secondary believing and you could ask your older child to drop very obvious hints?

Don’t tell her at Christmas!

If she has to be told (and I think she does at 12) ‘let it slip’ about the Easter Bunny in March/April and give her time to put 2 and 2 together about Santa / tell her directly, in plenty of time before Christmas.

I can remember think the same when I was small. “Well if God and Jesus are real and can perform miracles, that explains it.”

I should think actually that some questioning around this is probably what led me to stop believing in the end, because my mum was a Sunday school teacher and she wouldn’t have let me keep thinking that Jesus and Santa are the same!

Started to doubt aged 8, but still mentions it now in a knowing way