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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Slow clueless people holding up queues

497 replies

AuntyMargeAuntyFlora · 07/11/2023 10:38

What is it with these people?

My latest experience was at a walk-in centre. Only two women ahead of me in the queue to book in. Goodness knows what they were doing, most of it seemed to be standing there looking at each other before saying a few quiet words to the receptionist who had to keep explaining the same things to them (that they had missed their appointment and needed to go immediately to another hospital if they wanted to see x department). Then they'd stare at each other again. Occasionally one would half-heartedly search in a bag or look at their phone. Absolutely no sense of urgency at all, and apparently oblivious (despite glancing in our direction several times) to the massive queue gradually building up behind them. By the time the queue had almost reached the door, another member of staff was called to come and help book everyone else in, and these two women were still slowly doing nothing.

I don't mind if someone has genuinely got a difficult query/situation that takes ages to unpick, or if they are perhaps elderly/overwhelmed/etc and these things take longer. But its usually these people who are first to apologise for holding up the queue or even suggest others go ahead!

What I'm talking about is the entitled people who don't seem to register that other people exist, and who ponder and confer at a snail's pace, oblivious to any sense of urgency of the queue building up. I can imagine someone coming in with a serious injury, and these two women glancing over periodically as the person bleeds everywhere and slowly collapses, as they carry on with their inane time wasting non-query...

OP posts:
Maxus · 09/11/2023 11:57

Smellyshelley · 09/11/2023 10:40

But it's not "the big important person in a hurry" expecting everyone else to move is it? It's the selfish entitled time waster expecting everyone else to wait.

Why are they selfish? They wait their turn aswell. When they finally get their chance to choose their food from that part of the fridge it's the next person's turn to wait. Selfish no, it's the person who expects them to move who is selfish

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:00

Maxus · 09/11/2023 10:36

And why should everybody move for the big important person in a hurry? Just wait your turn, you are no more important than anybody else

It's totally unreasonable to block somewhere moving very slowly when all you have to do is move over to let someone by.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:01

DahliaMacNamara · 09/11/2023 11:55

Our own wants frequently collide with others' in legitimate circumstances. Like the coffee example. I go into a bakery for a loaf of bread or a pasty. Cash in hand, I want a straightforward, speedy transaction, but in front of me is a couple who are ordering different types of coffee with oat milk, regular milk, syrups, no caffeine, a sprinkle of fairy dust and could you put it in our own cups please. This always seems to take way longer than it should. Are they supposed to look at me waiting behind and get themselves a bottle of water from the fridge instead because I'm in a rush? To me their needs aren't significantly different from the person in the shop who wants the meat with the longest date on it. I have far more patience with the latter, but it seems awfully self-centred to accuse people of being selfish for making choices rather than humbly running in and grabbing the first available thing that approximately suits their needs. It's not really how it works.

That is different to walking along the street two abreast and refusing to move aside to eg let past a runner.

Or heading towards a till with a full trolley and jumping in front of a person with one or two items.

Gingernaut · 09/11/2023 12:02

Money's fine, but some places are card only and many people keep store loyalty cards on their phones

To access coupons and special offers one has to find the app, login and bring up the right barcodes for the cashier to scan...

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:02

All those workers in a hurry who expect pensioners, people with disabilities to avoid supermarkets during their lunch break eg peak times. If they hate it so much why don't they avoid the supermarket during their lunch break, take pack up? Do the shopping at an all night supermarket? Is this unreasonable to you? Guess what so is expecting pensioners and disabled people to avoid your all so important lunch break. Think about it.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:02

normally the person who asked me to move spends just as long then another person jumps in when they finish. So wait your turn

We're talking about people who know what they want, will take it and go and leave you with your ruminating for the next three hours or however long you want to take comparing prices. If you are in someone's way, you move.

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:05

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:00

It's totally unreasonable to block somewhere moving very slowly when all you have to do is move over to let someone by.

I wasn't talking about blocking someone. I was talking about someone asking you to move out of the way of the fridge when that person is already selecting from the fridge. No if they want to select from the fridge just wait.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:06

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:02

All those workers in a hurry who expect pensioners, people with disabilities to avoid supermarkets during their lunch break eg peak times. If they hate it so much why don't they avoid the supermarket during their lunch break, take pack up? Do the shopping at an all night supermarket? Is this unreasonable to you? Guess what so is expecting pensioners and disabled people to avoid your all so important lunch break. Think about it.

It's not about "pack ups".

It's about the fact that someone has an hour in the day to run errands, maybe drop off a parcel in the post office etc.

If you don't need to use the shops when they are busy, don't. Anyway as I've said upthread I can't imagine why you would generally choose to go to places when they are busy when you can go when they are quiet and far less stressful.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:07

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:05

I wasn't talking about blocking someone. I was talking about someone asking you to move out of the way of the fridge when that person is already selecting from the fridge. No if they want to select from the fridge just wait.

Yes you are. If you want to spend ages choosing, you can. But you let someone else grab the item they want and get out of your way.

Sometimes I go off to other parts of the supermarket and come back, but if you are still there when I come back when I will absolutely ask you to move so I can get the item I want and get on with my day.

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:08

Mind you, this is why online shopping was invented so you don't need to deal with people!

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:08

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:02

normally the person who asked me to move spends just as long then another person jumps in when they finish. So wait your turn

We're talking about people who know what they want, will take it and go and leave you with your ruminating for the next three hours or however long you want to take comparing prices. If you are in someone's way, you move.

But I'm not in someone's way, it takes a minute or two compare prices etc not 3 hours, the problem today is people expect instant gratification including expecting people to just jump out of the way instead of waiting

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:13

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:06

It's not about "pack ups".

It's about the fact that someone has an hour in the day to run errands, maybe drop off a parcel in the post office etc.

If you don't need to use the shops when they are busy, don't. Anyway as I've said upthread I can't imagine why you would generally choose to go to places when they are busy when you can go when they are quiet and far less stressful.

Because that's when they want to go to the shops etc. Who do you think you are expecting people not to get on with their life while you do errands on your lunch break. That is not their problem like a said before luncbreaks can occur from 11am-3pm for different people. You surely carnt expect people to avoid going out between those times.

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:14

enchantedsquirrelwood · 09/11/2023 12:07

Yes you are. If you want to spend ages choosing, you can. But you let someone else grab the item they want and get out of your way.

Sometimes I go off to other parts of the supermarket and come back, but if you are still there when I come back when I will absolutely ask you to move so I can get the item I want and get on with my day.

Like I said it takes me 1-2 minutes. If you had gone to another part of the shop and come back I wouldn't still be there.

QueenCamilla · 09/11/2023 12:32

@enchantedsquirrelwood

It's the boredom of the retirement that makes some people want to be in the middle of all action, be it positive or not.

Even in my childhood I had noticed it. The morning buses were absolutely packed those days with commuters, children and...pensioners going to the shops for their opening hour.
I did get bothered a few times when I couldn't board the bus as it was so packed but a third of the people there didn't have anywhere pressing to be. You know you need a new hobby when the excitement of a packed bus ride kicks in...

KimberleyClark · 09/11/2023 13:19

I’m retired (and not bored). If I do happen to be out and about at lunchtime I try to avoid post offices etc. I’d rather go for a coffee and wait for the rush to be over. Those of you banging on about retirees cluttering up places at lunchtime, do you feel the same way about SAHMs/maternity leavers?

Smellyshelley · 09/11/2023 13:51

@Maxus I'm not sure what you're not getting here. The example we were talking about was people blocking a section in a supermarket while they compare dates or whatever on the produce. You say:
"But I'm not in someone's way, it takes a minute or two compare prices etc not 3 hours, the problem today is people expect instant gratification including expecting people to just jump out of the way instead of waiting"
But this is bloody ridiculous. If I can see exactly what I need on the shelf, and I need to just reach out and grab it why the hell should I have to wait for you to finish your "minute or two" comparing prices? Why can't you just move aside and compare your prices there? Why do you feel the need toake me "wait my turn"?
Obviously if I was planning to do the same as you and spend a couple of minutes examining stuff then fair enough, I'll wait. But why should I have to wait otherwise? When it makes absolutely no difference to you.
And yes walking slowly directly in the middle of a path is the same. There's no need. It is no hindrance to that person to walk slightly to the side so that other people can get past.
It's common manners. I'd never hold someone up for absolutely no reason.

Maxus · 09/11/2023 14:07

Smellyshelley · 09/11/2023 13:51

@Maxus I'm not sure what you're not getting here. The example we were talking about was people blocking a section in a supermarket while they compare dates or whatever on the produce. You say:
"But I'm not in someone's way, it takes a minute or two compare prices etc not 3 hours, the problem today is people expect instant gratification including expecting people to just jump out of the way instead of waiting"
But this is bloody ridiculous. If I can see exactly what I need on the shelf, and I need to just reach out and grab it why the hell should I have to wait for you to finish your "minute or two" comparing prices? Why can't you just move aside and compare your prices there? Why do you feel the need toake me "wait my turn"?
Obviously if I was planning to do the same as you and spend a couple of minutes examining stuff then fair enough, I'll wait. But why should I have to wait otherwise? When it makes absolutely no difference to you.
And yes walking slowly directly in the middle of a path is the same. There's no need. It is no hindrance to that person to walk slightly to the side so that other people can get past.
It's common manners. I'd never hold someone up for absolutely no reason.

Have I said I walk though in the middle of a path? No I haven't. At the fridge just wait your turn, if everybody tried grabbing something while I was making my selection I would be their all day making way for people. Just wait, it's not hard.

Badbadbunny · 09/11/2023 14:28

Gingernaut · 09/11/2023 12:02

Money's fine, but some places are card only and many people keep store loyalty cards on their phones

To access coupons and special offers one has to find the app, login and bring up the right barcodes for the cashier to scan...

You can do all that before it's time to pay the cashier, i.e. when you're in the queue or even before you go into the shop. Suddenly getting the phone out and faffing around when it's time to pay is classic dithering.

Badbadbunny · 09/11/2023 14:31

Maxus · 09/11/2023 12:08

But I'm not in someone's way, it takes a minute or two compare prices etc not 3 hours, the problem today is people expect instant gratification including expecting people to just jump out of the way instead of waiting

How can it take you so long to compare prices? A minute or two is a long time to compare! Completely selfish to block and expect others to wait if you take so long.

Maxus · 09/11/2023 14:33

Badbadbunny · 09/11/2023 14:31

How can it take you so long to compare prices? A minute or two is a long time to compare! Completely selfish to block and expect others to wait if you take so long.

If you carnt wait a minute for someone to finish then you are the selfish one

BarneyAteMyHomework · 09/11/2023 14:39

Maxus · 09/11/2023 14:33

If you carnt wait a minute for someone to finish then you are the selfish one

Or you have issues that make it difficult for you to wait.

Bit unfair of you to just assume that someone’s being selfish, isn’t it?

Maxus · 09/11/2023 14:44

BarneyAteMyHomework · 09/11/2023 14:39

Or you have issues that make it difficult for you to wait.

Bit unfair of you to just assume that someone’s being selfish, isn’t it?

If the read the post you will see that badbadbunny called me selfish first. I don't have issues about waiting but badbadbunny obviously does she carnt even wait 1 minute for somebody to finish

Spookymormonhelldream · 09/11/2023 14:51

@cyclamenqueen i flew out of T5 on Sunday and you still have to do all of the security checks, removing liquids, shoes, coat belt laptop kindle etc etc

twattydogshavetwattypeople · 09/11/2023 14:59

Here's another: drivers who slow down to 2 mph to go over a speed hump. It's not an unexploded bomb.

BarneyAteMyHomework · 09/11/2023 15:01

Maxus · 09/11/2023 14:44

If the read the post you will see that badbadbunny called me selfish first. I don't have issues about waiting but badbadbunny obviously does she carnt even wait 1 minute for somebody to finish

But someone may have issues that mean THEY can’t wait for a minute. It may not be them being selfish not being able to wait for you.

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