FiL wants all our data

[HighlandCowSaysBooNotMoo]

My father in law works in a government role.
Today he put a message in the family WhatsApp group asking if we could send him our addresses, d.o.bs, mothers maiden names, our place of birth, our address history, previous maiden names etc.
Apparently he needs this info from his 4 adult children, their spouses (me included) , his own siblings and his siblings spouses, grandchildren, his in laws etc. Basically he is covering every member of the family and spouses etc over the age of 18.
He has put something light hearted about it being needed for an enhanced security check that he's been told he needs for his job.
He is not changing jobs or position in the company. He has been in this job for since my husband was a wee kid!!
A couple of people have responded straight away with their data.
DH says IABU not to share mine with his dad
What do I do?

Sounds exactly like what I had to do when I married DH.

If he ticks the box to say he does not have the information, perhaps you will be subject to further investigation - deeper than just providing the name in the first place. Who knows. But it is great that you are so supportive of your FIL. Well done 😊

This is correct.

Don't embarrass your FIL at work by being awkward. (Unless he's an asshole and there is backstory to a poor relationship)

I would be stumped with the address history.
Is that info people ordinarily know?

Absolutely standard for security checks. It’s not unreasonable. He’ll need it to complete the forms for the security application. Nothing to worry about.

I would hand over absolutely nothing until I knew why and was satisfied the explanation was a true one. Even then I might dig my heels in. It's a bit of a cheek and you should tell your DH to pull his head in.

Surely if he doesn't have the information that's a sign that he's not massively close to that relative, so he's less likely to share official secrets with them...?

I think a far more reasonable ask as part of the vetting process would be to request my enhanced DBS number and professional body registration details. I'm pretty sure with just those two numbers, the Government could get comfortable that I'm not a threat. It would feel less intrusive than handing over my personal data directly to my FIL or another relative to whom I didn't feel massively connected.

I don't have anything to hide, and I know I'm on plenty of Government databases already, but that doesn't mean I want to give all my personal data to anyone who asks for it... Especially if they can't explain the request properly because they're not allowed to tell you what their real job is. How does that work? You can't tell me the truth about why you want my data, but you want me to be completely honest about my data?

I think whoever designed this vetting process didn't give any consideration to the civilians who didn't sign up for any of this. They also didn't give any consideration to how easy it would be for a con artist to pretend they needed this information (given the standard vagueness used) and then use it fraudulently.

Don't embarrass your FIL at work by being awkward. (Unless he's an asshole and there is backstory to a poor relationship)

I thought that too.
The relationship would have to be pretty bad to want to obstruct someone doing their job though.

These seem like fairly standard questions for a security check and nothing that isn’t already known.

What I do wonder is how thorough these checks are. 4-5 years ago I had to undergo DV for a role working with but not for the Met Police. All the usual questions were asked including spouse, children, siblings, parents and grandparents details. The form was electronic and did not allow me to leave sections blank or state ‘unknown’. I am not British and all my family live in another country.

The first difficulty was the form would not allow me to not give an address for my dead father so I have the name of the cemetery he is buried in. They also asked for all my parents and grandparents dates of birth and the dates of their marriages. Fine for my parents but I had no idea for my paternal grandparents and there is no one left to ask so I just made the dates up. Again there was no option to leave these sections of the form blank.

It took several months but I did clear the vetting. I’m afraid my experience just made me a bit dubious about how thorough the whole process actually is.

Having had a high level of security vetting in the past, yes, this would be required if it was a similar level to mine. Due to the roles where this would be required, you may not know about the job. To an outsider, my role was a very normal job. They don't know who I actually worked for or what I did as I wasn't allowed to discuss it it any form.

FindingMeno

I would be stumped with the address history.
Is that info people ordinarily know?

If this is in response to my post about my niece, her mother and stepfather are still married and he knows how long he's lived at his address, so she just asked him.

Same for me... Adamant they wanted my step family details even though I have had no association with them for 30 years, but said they didn't need my SIL or neice details 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Quite normal for civil service. Unless you have reason to be suspicious it's quite weird to object to giving him this. It's not much more than I've had to share with inlaws when they booked a holiday, and they already know my maiden name and my mother's maiden name as it would have come up in conversation, and FIL signed the register when I married DH.

I had to supply all this info for my family for french paperwork, including marriage dates & details if my deceased parents, & their death certs.
Names, ages addresses & jobs of my siblings.
But not for the spouses

I would also say, I also had a 4 hour security interview, and any data I couldn't give them, I was simply questioned about why I couldn't provide it. Not providing it won't be an automatic block for you FIL. He will probably just have to explain that his DIL refused to share the information - but that you have a good relationship otherwise. It will be awkward and annoying for him, and probably embarrassing, but it won't be a block for him.

DH worked for an MP in his gap year and even his neighbours were vetted.

We've all been vetted again when he went for higher security clearance.

You have to order the certificates though don't you? Or physically go to the records office? You can't view them online as I understand it. That sounds like an unnecessarily time consuming and costly exercise in most cases. If there's no alternative, fair enough, but surely most families who are at least on speaking terms would view it as normal to just talk to each other?
I'm not particularly close to any of my in laws but I can't imagine making them jump through those kind of hoops to obtain info I could provide in minutes if they had a genuine need for it. If I discovered that my FIL had obtained a copy of my birth certificate rather than just speak to me I would find that far more intrusive - downright weird in fact!

Some of the responses on here are bonkers. OP knows her FIL works for Government, and lots of us have confirmed that this is all completely normal for security clearance. But some posters are still saying they wouldn't provide info in these circumstances.

Would you rather the Government and Security services just employed any Tom Dick or Harry without doing these checks? What if there's a known terrorist in the family? Or someone who is known to the security services for any other reason? Or on a Government watchlist for threats to national security? Do you think they shouldn't check these things out before giving people jobs and access to all sorts of secure information?

I was very relieved that I have an uncomplicated family, it was bad enough getting all the details as it was, if there'd been divorced parents/step children etc if would have been even worse.

Refuse to give him the data. Then if he doesn’t get sacked you have proved your point and he is just some sick weirdo. Then report him anyway!

I can’t get over the number of people on this thread who have been vetted for security reasons.

I was surprised to be vetted and to have to sign the Official Secrets act when OH got a teaching job with the military! However there were a few Oh shit! moments when military friends realised that they'd been talking shop in our presence. we learned a lot we shouldn't have. In later years things would be in the media and we would say But we knew that ten years ago!

I appreciate that in this day and age we've been taught to be wary of data security etc, but having a lit of experience in government recruitment, it is certainly not usual to need to provide this information ahead of pre-employment checks. It's annoying because the vetting officers don't seem to realise that the level of info they require feels at-odds to our data security-conscious society.

It sounds like your FIL is undergoing a moderate to higher level of clearance. I've undergone the highest level in the past, and it's extremely stressful gathering and providing all the info and subsequently being grilled- it can take months (sometimes 1 year+), waiting to start the role.

If your FIL is undergoing that highest level, he'll be visted by vetting officers, as will his nominated referees. They stay in your home for hours and ask personal, prying questions that would make your hair stand on end.

I appreciate why it sounds intrusive and overkill to people that don't understand, but OP, it will likely be causing your FIL a massive headache.

I know those details about my family anyway and my siblings partners and most friends, he's not asking for anything outrageous imo.

Completely normal for many gov jobs. May have nothing to do with his role and be related to the building he works in. Imagine if these checks weren't done how vulnerable 1000s of workers would be who work in high profile work places.

Perfectly normal request for various security checks, he probably shoulf have explained it better. But yes for some people working in government to get a higher security clearance your wider family has to be checked. If you have concerns ask him to give more detail