FiL wants all our data

[HighlandCowSaysBooNotMoo]

My father in law works in a government role.
Today he put a message in the family WhatsApp group asking if we could send him our addresses, d.o.bs, mothers maiden names, our place of birth, our address history, previous maiden names etc.
Apparently he needs this info from his 4 adult children, their spouses (me included) , his own siblings and his siblings spouses, grandchildren, his in laws etc. Basically he is covering every member of the family and spouses etc over the age of 18.
He has put something light hearted about it being needed for an enhanced security check that he's been told he needs for his job.
He is not changing jobs or position in the company. He has been in this job for since my husband was a wee kid!!
A couple of people have responded straight away with their data.
DH says IABU not to share mine with his dad
What do I do?

At least he asked! I have a sneaking suspicion my brother has been handing this info over for years without telling me

I had a few people vanish off training courses in the past. Sometimes they weren't good enough. Sometimes it was because something in their background, or their wider family's background was flagged as not appropriate. Sometimes it was, sadly, because people wouldn't provide the info.

Given the ease of identity theft these days, i would be asking FIL more questions, then passing the information to him on a piece of paper. Unless i thought it was dodgy in which case i'd tell him "no"

I wouldn't be comfortable with that. The circumstances of my parents and grandparents are not the business of my inlaws.

I didn't ask anyone when I filled in my security questionnaire, unless I was missing some of the information I needed. Why would I? It was nothing that the government didn't already know about them via their birth certificate or council tax records.

When she first had to go through very stringent checks, a dd wondered whether to mention that her long-term BF’s sister’s bloke was banged up for drug-related activities.
But she did, in case they found out anyway and the omission would kybosh her job application. She got the job.

I had to do this when my brother applied to work in the home office I think it is standard

He might be getting enhanced SC or CTC security clearance at work. It asks so many questions about family. I used to help people with their applications at work and there was always issues when people were estranged from family and didn't know the answers.

I suppose it's just nice to know when the government are looking at you. It's weird to think they might have been without my knowledge....not that they would find anything interesting, I'm very normal and dull

This.

Yes @HighlandCowSaysBooNotMoo, and other Mumsnetters, this might seem a strange question, but are any of the answers going to be embarrassing, or worse, even potentially dangerous if a stranger was aware of them?

If the answer to my question above is "no", but we like to be able to flex our muscles and say "no" to things - even when they are not in the slightest way akwardly intrusive and - even when the questions are being asked by a close (and hopefully trusted) family member, then why not just let him know these things in the interest of family harmony?

Even if your DFiL couldn't be trusted not to publish every single detail on a social media platform, I doubt that anyone else would be in the slightest bit interested, so apart from annoying you, how else would it harm you?

I am sure that over the years there will be at least one or two things that you should, or need to, make a stance on, which will surely be respected much more if you haven't made "pointless" points over minor things in the past?

Nope. They would literally send the employee a form to fill In with the details and send back. They wouldn’t contact the people as that would confirm that person works for them and that’s not the point

My friend traveled the country doing interviews with the contacts of applicants for the highest level of security clearance. He said that basically, it didn't matter what was in the applicants backgrounds as long as they were honest about it.

There was very little in their or a contacts life history that would rule them out of a role, but not being open about the most trivial of issues, would.

Or he’s saving you the work? FIL should be doing the majority of this himself: OP’s dob, place of birth and mother’s maiden name will be in the public domain, so he can sort that info. He should know his son’s address and address history so that covers OP for as long as they’ve cohabited. At most, he might ask OP to confirm the information he’s collated, but she doesn’t have to. He’s being lazy.

You'd say "no" despite having needed to provide this sort of information when it benefitted you?

id give him a call just to make sure he actually sent the message!

I haven't read the whole thread but my husband had to obtain the same information to get security clearance which was quite a faff but luckily it all went through ok. I would supply the information.

I was asked to give these details for my BIL when he took a new role in the police. It needed to be parents, spouse, siblings and their spouses. I trust him so it’s not a problem. Whoever has access to my GP and banking records has all that.

You don’t need to. I’m vetted and estranged from a parent. I explained that and gave the info I did know and it was fine. He can explain he couldn’t get some details from you but provide your name

Sainsburys knows more about me than what your FIL is asking. Just reply on WhatsApp but privately, not in the group.

My DB works in a job where he requires high level security checks. When he first got the job he needed that level of information on all family members as I remember him asking my DM for a lot of it. He's still in the same job many years later and has to have checks renewed every 7 years. He contacted me for some info - but only our parents DOB/death. He didn't ask for all the other wider family info even though his nieces/nephews are now all adults. By his own admission he hadn't kept a copy of the previous form he'd filled in so it's not as if he knew all the previous info he'd submitted. So clearly in his case the subsequent checks don't require the same level of info.

not sure whether asking this on whatsapp group is secure for everyones visibility?

Well a lot of these responses show people have never worked in an environment where enhanced security checks are needed. This is not only government roles, it is also some roles in the police.

I wouldn’t & haven’t had an issue providing such details before. Personally I don’t see the problem 🤷‍♀️

i posted to early - i would be saying "no" until i was satisfied how the data was being used and stored.

I certainly wouldn't be putting it in a WhatsApp - although i get from FILs pov that was the quickest/easiest way to ask.

but i do also know from personal experience that if you say "here are all the details except X who doesn't want to give it" didn't prove much of an obstacle to a good friend of mine who only knew some of her paternal family.

I have worked on IT contracts for enhanced security institutions (eg the police force). This is entirely normal. Security vetting involves asking the employee to complete these details on a form and is then rechecked every x years (exact time frame does vary by security vetting level).

You can refuse, of course, but the ask itself alligns exactly with my experience.

Normal security clearance questions. I’ve had to do it a few times.

It isn’t always a one-time thing either. In an ongoing job security clearances need renewing after 5, 10, or 15 years (at least in my experience) depending on the level of clearance. Not providing the information doesn’t mean they won’t get it - they will.

If he has to do it and your friend hasn’t then what they’re handling isn’t the same at all.