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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep my kid in their state school now I'm a millionaire?

66 replies

evinalina · 05/11/2023 19:51

Sorry, I'm not a millionaire, but I'm having my "if I were a millionaire" daydream.

My DC goes to a state school, nothing special, one form entry, but we like it, he likes it, he has nice friends . I always think if we won the lottery then we would definitely move house , a probably further away from the school and in an area where the houses are much bigger than ours, and the area is a bit "posher"

Would it be weird to transition in to a rich persons "lifestyle" (by means of where we live and what we could afford to do) and leave my child in their happy school, who would then probably want to join the now local state school with his friends???

I'll wake up soon.

OP posts:
LadyMacB · 05/11/2023 19:53

I know plenty of well off people who send their kids to state school. Private school isn’t automatically the better choice. All depends on the schools.

MrsKwazi · 05/11/2023 19:53

Is this a new take on the state vs private debate?

Original poster
evinalina · 05/11/2023 19:54

Not even necessary a private school, but to move to the school in the catchment area where the majority of families would be in the same financial position?

OP posts:
jlpth · 05/11/2023 19:54

Plenty of millionaire's children in state schools. Just have to live in an area where there are nice state schools.

CurlewKate · 05/11/2023 19:54

There are loads of rich people who send their children to state school!

Original poster
evinalina · 05/11/2023 19:54

Necessarily *

OP posts:
ConsuelaHammock · 05/11/2023 19:55

I know several very wealthy people and their children go to state schools. Admittedly we have lots of grammars here but I know some children who go to the local high school and they are incredibly wealthy. You can’t buy brains.

Original poster
evinalina · 05/11/2023 19:57

@ConsuelaHammock well exactly! My DC is completely average, and I'd much rather him stay happy and content than try to buy brains .

OP posts:
sleepyscientist · 05/11/2023 19:57

jlpth · 05/11/2023 19:54

Plenty of millionaire's children in state schools. Just have to live in an area where there are nice state schools.

This in buckets. Our local faith, state and private get very similar results. They are all with 2miles of each other the vast majority of kids going to the private live outside of the catchment for the state school or parents need the wrap around care offered by the private.

SomersetBrie · 05/11/2023 19:58

I used to have those "if we won the lottery" conversations with my DC and we'd be talking about all the fabulous stuff we'd have and then they'd add "and all my friends from school could come over" meaning they would stay in their current (very average) state school but other aspects of our life would change.
I'd love the option of being able to move them if they were unhappy, but unless they wanted to move, they would stay at their current school.

Riverstep · 05/11/2023 20:04

Id keep dc in state school . I’d probably buy an expensive house in its own grounds (stately home style) and I’d pay uni fees etc to avoid any debt for dcs. Other than that, life would be business as usual.

MsCactus · 05/11/2023 20:17

I'm planning to send my DCs to state school (theyre pre school age). Me and my DH earn just over £190k so I think we're in the top 1% earners in the UK, so fairly wealthy.

We both got top results from pretty bad state schools though, so neither of us really see the point in paying for private.

Daffodil18 · 05/11/2023 20:18

I think it totally depends on your area. Like some people said that there are areas where rich people send their kids to state schools. However I don’t live in one of those areas and I wonder how DCs peers would react knowing they were now millionaires.

Mirackleeus · 05/11/2023 20:19

I told my DC if we won the lottery they could go to the local private school. They looked at me like I had 2 heads! Why would we want to go there? They said. Our friends are at our one. We like our one.

Fortunately no lottery has been won so that didn't happen!

SallyWD · 05/11/2023 20:22

I grew up near Paul McCartney. His kids went to the local state school. I'd do the same if I was a millionaire.

BibbleandSqwauk · 05/11/2023 20:25

This will turn into the much repeated state Vs private. Neither is automatically better. Those who can afford to buy in great catchments are often avoiding fees by doing so. If you have an NT child who is bright and confident and socially adept, you may well be fine in State, especially a "leafy" comp. It's not just about results. I struggle to keep mine in private because they needed the pastoral and SEN support not offered in their (not so leafy) comp. I also like the additional sports and drama options and the fact that they are not feeling scared every day. In the end it's all about the individual school and child.

WrongSwanson · 05/11/2023 20:26

All the private schools round here get worse results than the state so I wouldn't move mine. I don't know what the parents are paying for but they aren't "buying brains"

Echobelly · 05/11/2023 20:26

I don't think I'd move my kids if I suddenly came into loads of money, they're happy at their state school and it's a very good one and I don't think we'd move to a wildly different area.

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 05/11/2023 20:27

DH and I are millionaires I guess in that we have over £2m of assets between us (excluding pension savings). This is partly from our savings and property appreciation and also my (middle class professional) parents both died in their early 70s before they got to spend a lot of their own savings.

We could afford to send DC to private school but don't - our local state schools are good and also we live in a v naice area swimming in privilege already and we want our kids to have at least some sense of what real life is like. We see a lot of private school kids at their sports clubs etc and lots (not all) are entitled little so and sos.

gotomomo · 05/11/2023 20:30

It's quite location dependent, here all kids go to the local primary school even the genuine Hollywood stars kid, it's 45 mins through heavy traffic to the nearest private primary so you have to seriously consider if that is in your child's interest. A few go fir secondary but it's 30 minutes on the bus then a 25 minute walk

Xenia · 05/11/2023 20:34

The good academic private schools choose the pupils not vice versa. Most who sit the exams fail to get in even if the parents are worth millions. So it would depend on his IQ if he got into a good one.

AllstarFacilier · 05/11/2023 20:38

After seeing some of the staff leave the school I work at to work in the public schools nearby, I wouldn’t pay for my kids to be taught by them.

mondaytosunday · 05/11/2023 20:47

My kids went to private school. They came from all over and parents were from 'just about affording it' to 'could have bankrolled the whole school'.
'Rich kids' don't just hang out with rich kids.
As for state, I imagine as they have to be local and you lived in an upmarket area they would be of similar affluence, but would you take your child away from where he's happy?

fyn · 05/11/2023 20:49

We intended to send our children to a state school, we moved into a catchment of a primary school ranked by the Times in the top 100 state primaries. Went to the open day and there was just absolutely no way I was leaving my DC there. It was a chaotic two form entry, the open day was entirely conducted by children and we didn’t once speak to an adult, children kicking off in the classes we observed and parents swearing at the school gates.

We went to the local private school and the atmosphere couldn’t have been nicer, polite children, no swearing, ability to talk to adults, great facilities. If it was a lovely little one form village school then maybe but that isn’t an option for us at present!

Chromium24 · 05/11/2023 20:50

quite a few mumsnetters will congrat you on this perspective,

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