To keep my kid in their state school now I'm a millionaire?

[evinalina]

Sorry, I'm not a millionaire, but I'm having my "if I were a millionaire" daydream.

My DC goes to a state school, nothing special, one form entry, but we like it, he likes it, he has nice friends . I always think if we won the lottery then we would definitely move house , a probably further away from the school and in an area where the houses are much bigger than ours, and the area is a bit "posher"

Would it be weird to transition in to a rich persons "lifestyle" (by means of where we live and what we could afford to do) and leave my child in their happy school, who would then probably want to join the now local state school with his friends???

I'll wake up soon.

To be honest, average kids are probably the ones who most benefit from private school, as they get the most benefit from 1:1 personalised tuition. A super-brainy kid can only improve so much! If they were likely to get an A* anyway, private school just smooths the way. Whereas a B/C kid could be lifted up into getting As with the right teaching.

Anyway, no if you won the lottery I’d keep your child where you think they will be happiest. I moved primary schools (and houses) 5 times due to my dad’s job, and it was hugely disruptive - I had some great experiences, but I’m determined DS is not going to move schools unless it is essential.

You don’t want your child to stick out as “the posh kid” if they currently go to school in a really deprived area, but in an average town, there will be a mix of rich and poor in most state secondaries.

Stella McCartney claims she was horribly bullied though, and would never send her own children to state! So not sure that is a success story.

There comes a point where having famous millionaire parents does paint a bit of a target on your back. Fortunately not something either I or DS will ever need to worry about.

I wouldn't, especially if my child was happy and had good friends. In fact if they were secondary school aged I would be asking what they wanted.

I don't really believe in private schools though as I don't think some children should have a leg up because of the wealth of their parents rather than merit or need. Having said that I am privileged to live in an area with really good state schools (and I'm sure a few millionaires just send to local state, especially to the primary schools) so maybe if the locals schools were shite, with overwhelmed and overworked teaching staff and high levels of bullying my principals would change if I became a lottery winner...

As a former primary school teacher, I worked in inner-city schools all over England and Wales at the polar opposite ends of community demographics - some in well off areas (think doctor and lawyer parents) and some in very, very poor areas (think children being exposed to gun violence - yes, really!), and everything in between.

I can tell you that the absolute best schools are in the poorer areas. Schools receive more money per head of pupil, and much more easily get accepted for grants so there is more money to work with. The teaching staff are often the best of the best because they are there to truly make a difference and need to tackle many more issues, not just to do the work and pay the bills. Parents are usually grateful for what you are doing for their children, rather than having increasingly more unreasonable expectations and demands. (Obviously these are stereotypes, but stereotypes usually exist because of some sort of truth.) In short, people in working class areas are just much nicer - proper communities!

Also, city schools in affluent areas tend to made up of majority white, Christian families. Where most of the children have cookie-cutter lives, backgrounds and experiences. Given the choice, I would pick a school with a more multicultural population so that my children's education and life experience will be much more diverse!

So, if money were no object, would I send my child to a private school over a state school? No. And I also (probably) wouldn't send them to a school in an incredibly affluent area, for the above reasons! Goes without saying it would depend on the school (probs would avoid the extreme end of my experience where there was gun violence exposure!) but the above is my personal experience.

Wow - that was a long answer to a completely hypothetical question. 🙈

I dont know why we have schools when kids can learn the same thing at home with the click of a button.
It's like its a place to send children to see other children like a large day care center.

Who knows, she might have been bullied at private school too. Most kids at private school have "normal" parents rather than world superstar parents so she would still have stuck out like a sore thumb. It's not like bullying doesn't happen at private schools!

I bet you wouldd,nt if the local school was a shit hole....

Jayjayel - completely agree

Plenty of wealthy and successful people send their children to state schools. Probably because they themselves were state educated and have done well in life.

Oh agreed, I was thinking of the kind of exclusive private school where the other children are literal princesses, or children of Russian oligarchs! Not just the local prep.

Social contact is an important part of a child’s education! As well as games, art, music etc, which they can’t learn online.

I think lockdown demonstrated clearly that homeschooling large swathes of children doesn’t work especially well. You need a very motivated parent supervising, and they need to know what they are doing, and that is not the case for the majority.

As a teacher in the state sector, if I could possibly afford it I’d get my child into the private sector and never look back. I always look at these threads praising the local state schools and chortle. You’d be horrified knowing what goes on day in day out- not on an open afternoon or on a website but walking into yet another disrupted lesson on any given day. Lack of money, hardly any decent qualified teachers, classrooms falling to bits, behaviour disrupting most lessons. Big standard teachers dealing with severe SEN due to lack of specialist places and a drive for “inclusivity” - most teachers can’t meet their needs (reality) and the amount of time on that 1:1 severely affects your standard NT child. Your bright state pupil, if they are keeping up and making standard will be looked over. They won’t be pushed. You’ll never hear it from the school. Your GCSE maths pupil is prob being taught by a teacher who has no expertise in the subject due to teacher shortage. As for “you can’t buy brains” - if you only knew. You certainly can buy opportunity, expertise and life chances. I’d go private and never look back. Sorry if that bites, but it’s the reality.

Not at all! I think we'd stay up north rather than moving back down south, even if we could suddenly afford the houses and private school too!

Money gets you choice. A better catchment area, extra curricular, tutors, private school...
You get the luxury of choosing the better option for you.

But becoming a millionaire won’t fundamentally change who you are, and so transferring to a rich person’s lifestyle doesn’t mean that you would simply take on that persona. And as other posters have said, private education isn’t necessarily better. So if you found yourself in that position, do your homework and then decide what the intrinsic ‘you’ would feel most comfortable with.

I went to a rich person's private school. It was miserable.

You need to consider why you have such value. If you are particularly high-profile you may have security and privacy concerns which may force you into the private sector as your needs would be disruptive to a state-school.

Also, consider if you can commit to them attending the full term. If you think you might have lots of absence because you're abroad, a private school or even personal tutor might better suit your needs.

@Shopkinsprincess1986 exactly and that's why we chose private. I work in the education sector so am fully aware of the issues, best friend is a HoD in an outstanding state school and she sends her DD private!

Ib would never move children who were happy and doing well at school.

I'd keep my DC in their state primary but would send them to the local fee paying secondary.

Theyre both doing well in primary, it's a nice, small, village school. The state secondaries around are not great. I think DC1 will do well wherever he goes. Dc2 is very easily led, class joker etc and would benefit from the higher behavioural expectations at the fee paying school.

Honestly in this day and age I think you'd need more than a million to pay for private education from 4 - 18 and still live a comfortable lifestyle... Would you plan to carry on working? Private education from 4 - 18 will cost about £230K for one child, by my calculations, let alone university or a second child.

I have a lot of very tremendously wealthy clients via my work (typically they are investment bankers, art dealers, and a few celebrities etc) and nearly all send their children to private schools and every single one of them has said it’s the worst thing they could have ever done! Not so much in terms of education but in the sense that drugs have been abit of an issue at the schools and also they said you pay a fortune but your child spends less time in school as they have more school holidays!

The parents of a child in my DCs' state school became multi-millionaires when they sold their company. Their child stayed in the state school, and the parents bank-rolled the replacement of all the windows in the 1930s buildings. Nice.

And no, I wouldn't move my child.

I only came in here to congratulate you on becoming a millionaire.