Man in Gym Changing Room

[AriaAri22]

NC for this because I know it's a controversial topic and I'm not sure how to feel now it's actually happened.

I went to the gym today and there was a man in the female changing area.

He was wearing a swimming costume designed for women, however, was very obviously male.

I had a look online and there have been a few reports of this happening in this particular gym. There are some tweets which haven't been responded to ranging from last year to last month.

Obviously, I didn't confront him and when I left there were no staff members at reception, however, I am not sure whether to say something next time.

Aibu to say something?

You would not be remotely unreasonable to say something OP.
Do they have a stated policy on trans members?

I’d report to the staff and get them to deal with it

I’d be upset and annoyed by this but as @heldinadream says check their stated policy on trans members.

You're not happy, say something. Tweet and make direct contact with some other arm of the business and find the official policy. There is no assurance the social media arm is talking much to the rest of the business. Start a petition if you can speak to the other complainants. Strength in numbers, sharing the work and making noise

I would've waited at reception or gone to find a member of staff.

You can’t say anything. Any bloke can now say they whatever and go where ever they like. Progress init. You as a woman have to facilitate their fetish.

I would definitely say something. It not on

Complain ! Very loudly to the gym. Absolutely disgusting, there could be children or teenagers in there next time. I can’t understand why you didn’t at the time.

@Battytwatty she didn't at the time because there were no staff around to speak to.

I can't find anything about it on their website. I did wait around for a little bit, but no one came. This is quite usual here though, it's not a particularly busy gym.

That's another thing that worries me. I don't want to be alone with this person. Yes, maybe they are a nice person without any bad intentions, but the situation makes me feel uncomfortable.

I think if it was going to happen again due to gym policies I'd cancel my membership and join a gym where the changing rooms are separate .
At my old gym women could walk around naked without worrying about men being present because after all what ever this person decides they are they are still male and I personally don't want to be getting undressed or showered with a male being present .

What chain is it, or is it local council?

This happened to me once - a Sunday evening in a hotel pool. It was very quiet and this ‘woman’ was in the jacuzzi wearing a turban, low cut swimsuit, a tonne of gold jewellery and a full face of makeup. He was built like a Liverpool navvy. That was fine - we even had a brief chat. Then I got out and went into the deserted women’s changing rooms and to my shock he came in a few minutes later. I chucked my dress over my wet swimsuit and ran. I don’t know that he would have done anything, but the place was deserted and I wasn’t hanging around to find out. It was creepy as hell. Males emphatically do not belong in a female changing room, even if they are dressed like Joan Collins.

No, OP, you really should say something because next time he might be in there changing with a lone teenage girl or a terrified woman who's the victim of previous sexual abuse.

I'd call the gym and ask for their policy on this and then write a firm email to them saying how uncomfortable you are with the situation and ending your subscription. If It's a chain, I'd write to head office explaining my decision.

I wouldn't want to use a gym where there is no one on duty. There should be at least one person on the desk you can call on in emergencies, and I'd regard a man semi-naked in the women's changing room as an emergency.

I hate that men are allowed to do this now. I feel really violated by it.

I thought it was an elf&safety requirement that at least one member of staff should be on duty whenever the gym is open?
You must complain.

You really need to speak up otherwise women are going to lose the right to have female only spaces.

It’s just not right that we women can’t say something about a man with male genitalia in our changing areas when we’re getting undressed. Why does their delusion that they’ve changed sex trump our right to not have to change out of our swimwear in front of men like this?

This is just so wrong. A man in a bathing suit with a penis pretending he is a woman.
so completely different from the dressed dad taking his 4 year old to the ladies toilet.
I would feel threatened by this. It’s almost like a show off - I pretend I’m a woman but I still have a penis to intimidate you with. Letting you see it all outlined in my female swimming costume.

It’s fucking bullshit, we need to normalise making a big bloody fuss when this shit happens.

Definitely say something OP. And dont apologise for feeling uncomfortable. Im sure most people would.

Absolutely report it.

Also absolutely be prepared for you to be labelled a bigoted transphobe by the "transwomen are women" posse.

The Equalities Act 2010 has sex as a protected characteristic. That means single sex areas such as toilets and changing rooms are legally protected. That is sex, not gender identity.

If your sports centre does not enforce the single sex area then they are breaking the law.

If that man really was a nice man then he wouldn't be even in the ladies changing room.

Definitely! Who cares what you get called, a woman is more than a piece of clothing.

@TeaGinandFags unfortunately that’s not quite correct. The Equality Act protects the right to single sex spaces if places choose to offer them. There is no right to them, though you might be able to argue it’s indirect sex discrimination (women more impacted than men), or indirect religious discrimination (Muslim women, orthodox Jewish women etc disproportionately impacted).