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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My hair extensions are gone and i want to cry

43 replies

aussierules2 · 05/11/2023 12:09

I had tapes in since august, but I got them taken out for a few reasons:

  • a change in circumstance meant I could no longer afford the frequent maintenance, and they needed a lot
  • they had changed colour in the sun and looked mismatched to my roots
  • they were becoming ratty and knotty all the time
  • they took ages to dry
  • they were damaging my thin fine hair

I got them taken out and my god. My hair has become so thin and short (literally barely shoulder length) it looks gappy and horrible and honestly I want to cry my eyes out. I know getting new extensions is not a financial option right now, but I looked SO much better with them and I’m genuinely struggling so much. I don’t know what to do 😭 it’s literally either damage my hair further and become poor, or look this ugly!!!

AIBU to not want to settle for either of these?!

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 05/11/2023 12:11

Have you looked at clip ins as a cheaper alternative or a halo?

TheOccupier · 05/11/2023 12:12

Wig?

Or, get a flattering shorter cut and try to move on.

CesareBorgia · 05/11/2023 12:12

Could you try clip in extensions - they wouldn't need to be in all the time so your natural hair would have a chance to recover.

BaronessBomburst · 05/11/2023 12:13

How about a sleek bob?
Buy a new lipstick and rock the new look.
The hair will grow; it's just a matter of time.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 05/11/2023 12:13

Post a photo.

MN is huge, there’s bound to be a couple of hairdressers knocking about.

In the mean time do something different with your hair. Hats, headscarves, etc. Experiment.

Busephalus · 05/11/2023 12:14

Get a cool and funky short haircut, extensions aren't great anyway

Friedgreentomatoparty · 05/11/2023 12:14

Caffeine shampoo and a rosemary hair and scalp treatment oil will help plus a good multivitamin and mineral supplement x

BMW6 · 05/11/2023 12:17

Get a good haircut and give your poor hair time to recover!

I'm absolutely positive that you're not ugly without extensions.

XiCi · 05/11/2023 12:18

I've had tapes for a couple of years now (medical condition caused some hair loss and it hides this) . Honestly, they shouldn't have caused damage to your own hair. During the time I've had them in, my own hair has become stronger and thicker. I wonder if your hairdresser isn't removing them properly? I would find a really good hairdresser and get a great cut from them. Clip in extensions also definitely worth looking at.

Jagley · 05/11/2023 12:19

It takes time to adjust, it's such a big change it's normal to be upset. I highly recommend the halo, it really helped me when my hair broke and was very short and brittle after an illness.

Aprilx · 05/11/2023 12:20

Barely shoulder length is not short, it means there is plenty to work with. Get a good, shorter cut, use good quality shampoo and treatments and let your hair recover.

XiCi · 05/11/2023 12:24

BTW, have you had them in since Aug and only had them taken out now? They need to be retaped every 4-6 weeks otherwise they pull at the root. They are real hair so would only get tangled and knotty if you weren't looking after them, same as your own hair. They need brushing, conditioning etc. The fact that you are saying they took a long time to dry makes me think she put too much hair in and it was too heavy. If your hair is very fine you should only need one row.

TempName247 · 05/11/2023 12:31

Clip ins from Amazon are great

OfMark87 · 05/11/2023 12:32

Get it cut and some clip ins.

But as pp have said, this shouldn't have happened. I have tapes in and had just got them re taped yesterday.

My hairdresser takes them out and leaves it a few days then re tapes them in about every 6 weeks.

I have had the same hair since July and still looks lovely. I have two packs in fine hair (which hasn't been damaged at all)

LodiDodi · 05/11/2023 12:38

It's hard to advise without knowing what you look like/ what styles you like but if you go to a good salon and get yourself a nice cut and/or colour it will make you like your hair again. Then you can focus on recovering its health. I would definitely recommend micronutrient multivitamins. I use perfectil and my hair is definitely stronger (but the biggest difference I saw was in my nails). Think about other things you can do to feel more confident too. I've been feeling a bit lacklustre this week due to the stresses of a new job and moving, so I treated myself to a facial yesterday and I feel sooooo much better in myself. I know these things can be expensive but look at what you're saving from not having the extensions and look at alternative ways you can treat yourself instead.

Inca22 · 05/11/2023 23:24

@Friedgreentomatoparty can you recommended a rosemary oil? Lots of people have said it's great for hair growth but I don't know which one to get!

Friedgreentomatoparty · 06/11/2023 00:26

Inca22 · 05/11/2023 23:24

@Friedgreentomatoparty can you recommended a rosemary oil? Lots of people have said it's great for hair growth but I don't know which one to get!

I’ve been using the mielle rosemary and mint one (I had severe post Partum hair loss) and it’s definitely slowed it down , smells nice too

Hankunamatata · 06/11/2023 01:33

Get it cut or I find braiding my hair hides a multitude of sins

DeeCeeCherry · 06/11/2023 02:24

Lace front wig. You can get decently priced ones these days, even on Amazon and Temu. Get the 'glueless' type, the front lace is pre-cut and easier to deal with

justanothermanicmonday1 · 06/11/2023 02:32

Ah op, I totally sympathise.

I had hair extensions for years and as a result had massive damage from chemically straightening my hair for years and from the weight of the extensions on my natural hair.

So, a few years before covid I decided enough was enough.

I took them out and never looked back.

I committed to having my hair in a sleeked back bun for a year and did deep conditioning and hair masks multiple times a week to try and repair.

I then started getting a regular cut and colour every 12 weeks and my hair has never looked healthier.

Never ever would I go back to extensions.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 06/11/2023 02:34

I should also note that my hair is now half way down my back. I can now curl it and style it the way I've always wanted to. Find a great hair dresser and start to repair the damage. It's not too late.

Hotchocolatemousse · 06/11/2023 05:44

Cut it as short as you can or if you're brave, shave it off and start with brand new hair. This is a radical move but I think it's best to start with a clean slate sometimes.

My sister did this a few years ago and it was the best decision she made. She's dyed her hair since she was 15 and it was in a bad state. She decided to shave it off instead of spending ££ on treatments & her hair is in really good condition now. She also takes biotin daily to help with hair regrowth so also worth considering.

looking4pup · 06/11/2023 06:14

You will get used to it. I remember having mine out and feeling my hair nj

looking4pup · 06/11/2023 06:15

I just couldn't believe the difference. For now could you try volume and thickening shampoo / spray?

TravelInHope · 06/11/2023 06:24

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