Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To priest or not to priest? Reception school help!!!

63 replies

Rainbowflashlight · 03/11/2023 22:51

Our DS is due to start reception in 2024.

We are orthodox Christians with strong Christian values, not originally from the Uk, we want our daughter to go to our local Church of England school.

We go to the church as and when though… and the churches we go to are all Orthodox, we are not committed to a specific one.

Would it be appropriate to go to the specific Church of England church that the school is affiliated with and ask the priest to sign the supplementary form? It will be the passport for our DS to go to this school.

We are also relatively new to the area and I haven’t seen this priest ever before in my life…. And it feels weird!

AIBU - Don’t do it, you will annoy the priest
YANBU - Go for it, the priest will understand and help

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 03/11/2023 22:52

What is the actual criteria for religious entrance?

UpsyDaisyMegaphone · 03/11/2023 22:52

I don't think you can if you don't know the priest and aren't church regulars. Maybe start attending and volunteering etc there between now and January?

Dotcheck · 03/11/2023 22:53

Do you have to? My kids went to a C of E school and we were nit church goers

Multipleexclamationmarks · 03/11/2023 22:54

If its the same as the form I had to fill in the priest fills in how many weeks a year you and your child have attended church and for how many years.
They can only know this information about their own church so if you haven't been there he can't fill it in.
Why not ask the priest at the church you do attend?

Etincelle · 03/11/2023 22:56

What does it say on the entrance criteria?. Christian schools often prioritise other Christian denominations including Orthodox over non faith kids

Dacadactyl · 03/11/2023 22:56

How oversubscribed is the school? If very oversubscribed, I would go to the Priest with the supplementary form, as well as a letter from your Orthodox Church explaining that the Priest there knows you and ask him to sign the form.

However, this may not be necessary if the school is not oversubscribed. Is your child baptised Orthodox? My friend is Christian (not C of E) but she wanted her child to go to the C of E school because her Church do not run schools in the UK. She submitted her child's baptismal certificate from "her" Church, along with a note from herself outlining that she wanted her child ro attend a Christian school. Her child got into the C of E school.

mynameiscalypso · 03/11/2023 22:58

It really depends on the school. DS' school is Catholic and is very oversubscribed so the priests are incredibly strict as to who they will sign the forms for. Is there any religious leader in your community who could support your application? Other Christian denominations sometimes get priority over non-religious children.

LuckyCats · 03/11/2023 23:04

Is church attendance actually included on the entrance criteria?
I know it helps in some areas but my dc went to a c of e primary because it was one of our catchment schools, we are not religious at all and about 20/30% of the kids there were from other religious backgrounds.
If it is a criteria that will give you more chance of getting the school you want I think you will need to attend the church between now and the application date, or stick to one Orthodox Church if you prefer and ask your priest from there.
Surely a priest won’t just sign something or write a letter for a random person he’s never seen?
You could be Satanist’s for all he knows, or just non believers trying to get a place ahead of one of his own congregation.
If you’ve not watched ‘Motherland’ already I would recommend it.

AnnaMagnani · 03/11/2023 23:07

I'd investigate the admission criteria and if the school is oversubscribed.

Our local primary is CofE and everyone goes there. In other areas it may be much more competitive.

meditrina · 03/11/2023 23:08

What are the actual criteria?

If it is (as it often is) based on Churches Together, then most (all?) Orthodox churches are members and so will count.

But remember that schools are often not looking just for membership of the church (eg by baptism) but also frequency of attendance.

You can (usually) have more than one priest to sign the form if you attend more than one church (or have moved house during the relevant period). But each priest can only sign for the attendance that he knows of. You will not annoy the priest by asking, but you cannot reasonably expect him to sign for an attendance category that he does not directly know you meet.

Things like volunteering at the church should not count (they are held to give an unfair advantage to those in circumstances that mean they have more free time) so it should just be attendance at main services of worship. It's not a test of the depth of your faith (subjective) but the countable aspect of your actual attendance

Original poster
Rainbowflashlight · 03/11/2023 23:13

School is 35% oversubscribed.

The kids that attend this specific church come first.

Then other Christians…

However, Orthodox priests are very strict and I am not sure they would be happy for an orthodox kid to go to a Church of England school, much like Catholic priests, if not even more. Let alone we don’t have a regular church, we go as and when and it can be a different Orthodox Church each time as we don’t have a very local one.

If I start now attending the church , 2.5 months of attendance on a weekly basis, will it be enough for him to sign the “fortnight” for 2 years? Omg…

OP posts:
Schoolchoicesucks · 03/11/2023 23:15

You need to check what the criteria is. For C of E primaries it is often regular attendance. So you could ask the priest(s) of the Orthodox church(es) you attend to sign to verify your attendance. If you haven't attended the linked C of E Church, then the Reverend is unlikely to agree to sign a form to say you have attended that church.

I don't think CofE schools are permitted to offer places on the basis of parent's actual faith and so they use attendance. But for oversubscribed schools that does mean having to attend.

Original poster
Rainbowflashlight · 03/11/2023 23:18

Question: what if a non-British orthodox priest sign the form? What if it’s a form signed from a polish priest in a polish Orthodox Church in Poland?

would that add any value?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rainbowflashlight · 03/11/2023 23:20

I am saying that because prior to our arrival in the Uk we attended on a weekly basis the church as there was a very local one around

OP posts:
sunflowerdaisyrose · 03/11/2023 23:21

At our church we have to sign in whenever we go to a service and they base it purely off that. Worth asking but they may well say no.

Voteva · 03/11/2023 23:22

Go see the priest, explain the situation and ask his advice and if he is ok to sign the form. Be extremely clear that you have always been regular church goers but at a variety of churches over the years so are unsure who to ask. He’ll probably be happy to sign the form. If he isn’t well at least you tried.

Multipleexclamationmarks · 03/11/2023 23:23

If I start now attending the church , 2.5 months of attendance on a weekly basis, will it be enough for him to sign the “fortnight” for 2 years? Omg…

Well that's asking him to lie so no he won't do that.
You could ask your Polish priest to do it but he can only say the church you attended there so that won't be recent if you are now in England.

Multipleexclamationmarks · 03/11/2023 23:24

Meant to put that quote in bold not cross it out!

meditrina · 03/11/2023 23:25

Rainbowflashlight · 03/11/2023 23:18

Question: what if a non-British orthodox priest sign the form? What if it’s a form signed from a polish priest in a polish Orthodox Church in Poland?

would that add any value?

Check the criteria!

If they want evidence of fortnightly over 2 years, and that straddles the time when you moved to UK, then having a reference from the priest there that you had been attending at X frequency for Y number of years until (date of departure) may help.

But then you'll also need a second reference for the time since your arrival in UK

Agadododoo · 03/11/2023 23:25

Can you contact the school and ask? How long ago did you live in Poland? Imho it seems fair enough that you attended when there was a church close to you, but don't so much now there isn't... Worth giving it a shot.

UsingChangeofName · 03/11/2023 23:27

If I start now attending the church , 2.5 months of attendance on a weekly basis, will it be enough for him to sign the “fortnight” for 2 years?

Well, of course (s)he can't / won't do that, but, if you are newly arrived, and were genuinely weekly Church goers in your home country, that might be taken into consideration.
You can but ask.

However, I think the fact you only attend Church on an ad hoc basis since you've been here, might go against you.

You can, of course bring your dc up in your own faith, without them going to a local CofE school.

Quitelikeacatslife · 03/11/2023 23:33

I work in c of e school, first (after looked after children etc) is SIF form signed by affiliated church then SIF form signed by other churches recognised by c of e. But all this only counts if in catchment and local vicar will absolutely not sign the form unless you attend every 2 weeks.
So you need to read the admissions policy for the school you want . It will be all spelled out

cabbageking · 03/11/2023 23:34

We accept evidence of all faiths. But if you say you have attended elsewhere before moving home or for other reasons we would expect some evidence from that or those churches. We also have letters of faith along with supplementary forms where different faith leaders have put some evidence to paper.

The person you are asking to sign should sign what they know to be true and if there is no evidence of attendance elsewhere they should sign perhaps the "no evidence to support the statement" depending on the supplementary form which should be on the Council website. You need to check the criteria for each school.

Gather info from the various churches you have attended would be my advice.

Schoolchoicesucks · 03/11/2023 23:37

If I start now attending the church , 2.5 months of attendance on a weekly basis, will it be enough for him to sign the “fortnight” for 2 years

No of course not. But there may be an option for the overseas priest to sign that you attended overseas regularly for 21 months and then that you've attended linked church for the 2.5 months. You would likely fall in category of other churchgoers rather than linked churchgoers though. And if you hadn't attended the overseas church for the 21 months all depends how willing your priest would be, which you seem to suggest isn't very!

Backtomyoldname · 03/11/2023 23:54

You need to go to both the school and Parish Priest to ask these questions.

Generally if Church membership/attendance is required there may be a register to quantify your attendance. Not ideal or always fair but that’s how it is - often after disappointed parents have gone legal. Its hard to argue with a register.

You also need to study the entrance criteria. These kick in once the class over subscribed.

The majority of the answers here are correct - but may not apply to the school that you are asking about.

Some schools may recognise foreign denominations, some ‘Churches Together’, some just their own.

Do this sooner than later.

A question….. You wrote that Orthodox Priests are very strict and do not favour Orthodox children attending C of E schools. Orthodox schools are few and far between. What do they propose?