DP and I are due our second baby soon and my 80 year old dad wants to come over from abroad and live with us for a month to “help.”
I’ve had to put my foot down and delay said visit until at least 2 weeks post birth but I’m still feeling incredibly stressed and upset about it.
With my first, my family seriously imposed themselves, arriving at the hospital the morning I gave birth after a 4 day induction, and guilt tripping me because I wouldn’t let them come beforehand.
Im dreading having to hide away upstairs to try and breastfeed my baby. I’m dreading all the unsolicited advice. We only have a 2 bed so I will be coming downstairs to him sleeping on the sofa at all hours of the night and morning. I’m absolutely dreading having to mother another human, because he can’t “help” me since he’s 80. It’s just another person to cook for and clean up after. He won’t shower when he’s with us because we have a shower over bath, and he’s scared of falling/slipping. I always feel bad because of this.
My father has always been a good person and has helped us financially over the years, I feel I can’t deny him this. A week I could do, but it looks like he’ll be staying at least a month based on what he is saying.
I know hormones are wreaking havoc, but I’ve just found myself crying. It’s so triggering, reminiscent of the situation with my first where lockdown hit and my father ended up stuck at ours for 6 months, shielding, with our new baby! Getting involved in all mine and DP’s arguments, always taking DP’s side. To this day it upsets me that my bonding time with my child was stolen.
AIBU? Will I appreciate having him there to help with DS4?