A fuss about buying wellies

[Losingtheplot333]

I am working away today so last night I asked DH to buy DD some wellies for bonfire night tonight on his way back from picking her up from DM, which is just five minutes out of his way.

so as I was leaving for the train today.,I shouted up the stairs reminding him and he did his usual harrumph(think Kevin the teenager full shoulder harumph) ‘but I’ve got lots of work to do’ I explained that she would need them for the mud at the bonfire night and he had said he would go for them when we chatted last night.
Bear in mind that yesterday he didn’t even start work till 1030 in the morning, he works from home and I was off so I know this…
I said fine, but this is 30 minutes out of your day, so just work till later. ( he is doing the work for my company so I know it doesn't matter if he gets it in later today. )

he was still complaining, and I said you know I get everything for DD and I never ask you to get anything that’s only because I’m away that I’m asking you to do this and she needs them this evening.

he got really angry, saying why did I have to get emotive and say things like that in front of dd. I felt I was just stating a fact which she knows as she is 10 and has only ever been shopping with me for clothes etc.
i feel he was being emotive, I was just explaining why it was unreasonable to complain about doing the task. Aibu?

You're both petty to be honest! He could have got them on his dinner, you could have got them yesterday when you were off... I'm surprised she didn't say "give me the money and I'll get them myself!"

Thats a but harsh. We didn't realise til last night she had grown out of the wellies…

You both sound a bit silly.

Can’t you just order some from next? They come the next day.

The fireworks is tonight. I tried to order from amazon prime last night but it said they would arrive by 4th which is the day after, guaranteed to arrive on time. DH said he would go and get them. Then today, when I reminded him, he got very stroppy.

it's a lot of drama over wellies. I'm sure your kid will survive for one night in wellies that are too small!

it's one night. for a few hours max

I have been buying every piece of clothing shoes, et cetera for 10 years now, I don’t know why it’s silly to expect him to buy one thing when I am not in the area I am sitting on the train I would have gone and got them, how does that make me silly?

You would let your kid walk around a large fairground in wellies 2 sizes too small? She cant even get them on

Christ on a bike. get off mumsnet and go get some wellies then 😂

I think it's fair enough to be annoyed that he wouldn't just get the wellies, if I ever notice something has broken/outgrown that is needed at short notice (eg a bit of PE kit) DH will always run out to the big supermarket and get it for the DC.

I am on the train to London as I mentioned above

What a lot of unnecessary fuss and also I’m surprised a 10YO would even wear wellies. I would have just let her wear her most waterproof pair of trainers (something leather) and given them a good clean at the end of the night.

Go to a big supermarket and get some. Such a fuss over nothing. I'm all for petty arguments with my husband but I don't involve the kids.

As I have said several times, I am working away and I’m now sitting on a train. This is the first time I’ve ever asked him to go and buy something. Why should I go if I could but I can’t, that is the point of the original post.

Thanks very much. I think other people are missing the point. If I was in a position to have got the wellies, like every single item of clothing for 10 years, I would have gone and got them. DH said he would get them, and then went in a massive strop at lunchtime, because he didn’t want to be put out for his own child. I think it’s a shame that all the other posters seem to think that it’s a woman’s job to buy things all the time.

You are on a train to London.

He may very well have work to do, but if wellies are needed, he is the one who should buy them today.

As for all the other stuff, it is hard to say without analysing the entire division of labour in your household but the principle is it shoudl be shared.

I think that this isn’t really about wellies. It’s about your marriage; that is why you are so upset about it.

Thank you. I do the vast majority of things, which is why he is moving out in a months time as I am sick of being the one to do everything and I when I ask him to do things he says yes then changes his mind and makes a fuss like today. Is it common for this to happen, which is why we are splitting up

There has never been a time my (now adult) children wouldn't wear wellies.

I'd be surprised at anyone who would rather get wet feet.

I'm with you OP. He probably thinks looking after his child is babysitting. He's a lazy cunt.

I kinda get the bit about saying in front of your daughter as it's not fair on her rather than it not being nice to him. But hey ho, worse things happen.

Well that is a pretty massive drip feed!

If you are splitting up over this, YANBU to be annoyed, but YABU to be surprised about this and wasting your energy today when you know what he is like.

Sorry to hear your marriage is ending tough times but hopefully happier days ahead.

I know, I can’t believe anyone would allow their children to walk around in mud halfway up their feet for several hours not waterproof trainers. If she had waterproof shoes, then I wouldn’t of asked him to buy wellies. This is the most sensible footwear for the muddy field she will be in

Well, I was just checking out whether other people thought his behaviour was unreasonable, too. After several years of it, I feel it is unreasonable, but I just wanted to check out whether others thought it was too. Obviously not many!

Ahh ok I see now OP. Yes I would be very angry about this too. Your poor DD I hope he does actually get her some as this would be really upsetting for her.

That is a huge drip feed. I'm sorry to hear that but it sounds like you'll be better off without him then! your OP sounded like a frivolous one off.

I think YANBU to be annoyed that he's a manchild.

BUT YABU to have not prepped / checked for wellies beforehand knowing he's unreliable and knowing you'd be left to sort it out anyway.

I'm all for an easy life.

Good luck with the future - sounds tough but really hope you find happiness!