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AIBU?

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Original poster

To report her online behaviour to her work?

43 replies

SittingOnIt2023 · 03/11/2023 09:30

I have been attacked, harrassed and intimidated for the last 11 months by a woman. She is currently under investigation by the police. I am disabled and currently not working due to the stress and upset she has caused me and my family ( single mum to 2 small DC )

This morning when I was walking past her with my 2 small children she swore at me when walking past us. She constantly posts online ahout me, threats ect and I've really had enough now

She is a carer. I have over 30 videos of her harrassing and threatening me online ( other people send them to me this is how long its been going on for, this is all on tiktok lives ect 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ )

Would I be unreasonable to email all of her behaviour over to her boss? I've absolutely had enough, she has had almost a year of entertaining herself intimidating and harrassing me. I would not feel comfortable leaving vulnerable relative in the hands of someone like this

I actually want to just post it publicly to her works Facebook page but I wont. But I want to.

I'm actually so angry today. The police are not helpful at all and I am feeling so vengeful right now. Why should she keep getting away with this with zero repurcsussions?

I'm not going to do anything right now as I'm angry and I know i dont feel the same when I'm calmer, but right now I want to cause her some of the upset she has caused me and my children over these last 11/12 months

OP posts:
TheOneWhereWeDontGiveAPhuck · 03/11/2023 09:34

I would, in a heartbeat.

Hibiscrubbed · 03/11/2023 09:36

I would. How does she know you??

VeridicalVagabond · 03/11/2023 09:38

Have you posted about this before? It seems familiar, hasn't she actually physically assaulted you at some point, or am I thinking of someone else?

I would absolutely send it to her bosses, I wouldn't want my vulnerable elderly relatives in her care at all.

wildwestpioneer · 03/11/2023 09:39

These people pick on people who have morals, and as such won't do things like report her etc. You are a far better person than she is and she's relying on this.

I'd absolutely report her, to her employer in a heartbeat. I'm actually surprised if she's being investigated by the police, her employer hasn't been made aware. But her employer needs to know. If she's doing this to you, what is she like with the people (presumably vulnerable) she cares for

Squiggles23 · 03/11/2023 09:40

I absolutely would, inform them there is an ongoing police investigation too and give them the crime reference number.

Dreamingofthishouse · 03/11/2023 09:41

Absolutely, also consider sending to cqc, or local authority that covers area she works !!

BarbaraofSeville · 03/11/2023 09:43

If the woman is a carer, she is required to be DBS checked and her/her employer will be registered with the Care Quality Commission (assuming you are in England).

Her employer is also required to have procedures for dealing with complaints/safeguarding issues (not sure which this would fall into).

It would seem appropriate to send 'feedback' about this woman through all the above channels. Although if she is under investigation by the police, and there is reasonable evidence of inappropriate behaviour, surely she should be suspended from working as a carer?

Trinity65 · 03/11/2023 09:43

Yes I would

A Carer you say ? Like You, I wouldn't want somebody like that looking after my elderly relatives .

EvilElsa · 03/11/2023 09:44

I would in a heartbeat. Include all evidence you have so you don't look like a liar and she can't deny anything she has posted. I'd also repost everything she sends you on your own social media page for everyone to see. Show her up for the troll she is.

Sofaz34 · 03/11/2023 09:47

I would use it as a threat to her to make her stop as doing it will certainly make her hate you more and she may get worse. Also not sure if the police would support you if you did it. If she doesn't change then you should definitely do it as she's obviosuly disturbed and shouldn't be caring for people. Also do be careful and look out for yourself if you do it as she may try to gey revenge and you may not be safe. Ideally is there any way you can move from he area as this seems like a miserable existence and will make your kids scared.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 03/11/2023 09:47

I would too OP. F* her, let her have to explain herself and feel the repercussions of her behaviour

OhComeOnFFS · 03/11/2023 09:50

Well I would do it for the sake of the people she's caring for. She shouldn't be allowed in a job like that.

However, if you do that, what might be the repercussions on you?

Womencanlift · 03/11/2023 09:50

Or if you don’t want the risk of a repercussion, could a friend send one of the Tik Tok videos saying that the saw one of their employees saying these things about someone they know to be vulnerable and it’s not the first time they have seen things like this? I would certainly do that if you were my friend

Then if you are contacted about it you can share the catalogue of abuse as well as the crime number

30not13 · 03/11/2023 09:50

She will be registered with a body for her work and have codes of conduct etc so I would be reporting her to them. Sorry I don't know who it might be as I'm in Scotland and you might not be.

Oldthyme · 03/11/2023 10:00

Whatever you do, do it with a calm frame of mind and dignity. Cool & collected.

Her behaviour could be deemed to be bringing her profession into disrepute. Her employers might therefore have a policy about this.

If her management are well trained and professional they should take up the case and get her sorted out but there’s no guarantee of that.

If management don’t put a stop to it, there will possibly be a higher authority or professional body they belong to so you could take it up a level. Check out websites.

Above all, have your evidence collated well and go to her employers with a well laid out case.

Be prepared for a backlash. Stay vigilant. No shouting in the street. Just walk away.

MidnightOnceMore · 03/11/2023 10:02

Not publicly but yes you could report it as she is in a role that has a safeguarding aspect.

MidnightOnceMore · 03/11/2023 10:03

Also can you get advice from a legal clinic or something about getting a desist letter sent or something?

timetorefresh · 03/11/2023 10:07

Yes I would. She's completely idiotic doing this while working in a role that requires DBS clearance

Hankunamatata · 03/11/2023 10:08

I'd go down the legal route. Restraining order etc - go get legal advice

Tatumm · 03/11/2023 10:11

Hankunamatata · 03/11/2023 10:08

I'd go down the legal route. Restraining order etc - go get legal advice

Good advice ⬆️

See if there is a law centre in your area of the cost is an issue.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 03/11/2023 10:14

Have you posted about this before?

And yes.

Bournetilly · 03/11/2023 10:16

Yes 100%. Someone like that shouldn’t be a carer, she could be treating the people she cares for like that.

Ella31 · 03/11/2023 10:16

Why is she targeting you do you know? Is it just you? She sounds unhinged.

I wouldn't publically expose her, you could get in trouble for that. There is probably a number to ring to report abuse within her role.

I'm surprised the police aren't taking the online harassment more seriously.

LakeTiticaca · 03/11/2023 10:17

Yes I would. Or ask a friend to do it

ThingsinJars · 03/11/2023 10:21

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