To report her online behaviour to her work?

[SittingOnIt2023]

I have been attacked, harrassed and intimidated for the last 11 months by a woman. She is currently under investigation by the police. I am disabled and currently not working due to the stress and upset she has caused me and my family ( single mum to 2 small DC )

This morning when I was walking past her with my 2 small children she swore at me when walking past us. She constantly posts online ahout me, threats ect and I've really had enough now

She is a carer. I have over 30 videos of her harrassing and threatening me online ( other people send them to me this is how long its been going on for, this is all on tiktok lives ect 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ )

Would I be unreasonable to email all of her behaviour over to her boss? I've absolutely had enough, she has had almost a year of entertaining herself intimidating and harrassing me. I would not feel comfortable leaving vulnerable relative in the hands of someone like this

I actually want to just post it publicly to her works Facebook page but I wont. But I want to.

I'm actually so angry today. The police are not helpful at all and I am feeling so vengeful right now. Why should she keep getting away with this with zero repurcsussions?

I'm not going to do anything right now as I'm angry and I know i dont feel the same when I'm calmer, but right now I want to cause her some of the upset she has caused me and my children over these last 11/12 months

If you've reported it to the Police and she's being investigated, it's a Police matter.

Posting things on SM doesn't tend to go well for any party and just inflames the situation.

I would report but be aware it may not result in any change for her. Unfortunately I’m some companies the bar for inappropriate behaviour is very low.
Was there a trigger for the behaviour to begin? I don’t expect you to answer but be aware she may not be honest about what has lead to her behaviour. Unfortunately people like this will do anything to gain sympathy in their favour.

Another avenue to report is to contact whatever charity might cover your disability. They then have a duty of care to report it as a safeguarding issue as you are a vulnerable person. It can help to get a bit more traction and action from the police/local authorities if an organisation gets involved.

Why are the police useless?

What should they be doing but aren't?

Why is she targeting you?

If it’s a police matter then I’d have thought the work would already know.

If you want to post things openly on social media, then you need to suffer the repercussions.
I would definitely email them a link to her page.

But as a PP said, don’t be surprised if they don’t actually do anything about it.
Its possible they are already aware of it but need the staff.

Are you the same poster who was getting harassed by 2 other parents at your dcs school?

If it is you then yes absolutely or get someone to do it for you say they are concerned and then she can't fully blame you. Make a fake email and say you're a concerned neighbour / friend / school mum / passer by at the same time most days I'd yiu can or just that you've gave the videos to them or just f**k it and do it from yourself. Absolutely in the wrong job I'd be concerned having her looking after one of my family.

Why aren't the police doing anything? Contact your MP and get them to apply pressure. You need someone to advocate for you.

Is she making the videos and posting them herself or are people filming her without her knowing?
She sounds quite unsafe!

And definitely this, as she's physically attacked you, her employer should absolutely know!

Definitely report her. She is not fit to be a cater.

I would absolutely report her to her employer.

As long as you are prepared for the repercussions - I would word the email with the attachments that you need your name kept out of this, let the employer aware of her 'other side' and quite rightly she should face the consequences

I would. I sure would not want a person like that caring for my elderly fil.

NO, Don't report her.
She'll know it's you and she could escalate and you could end up getting hurt.
Your safety and the safety of your DC is what's most important, as tempting as it is to seek revenge it probably won't end well.
You need to put pressure on the police to do something, arrest and charge her.
Log absolutely every incident with the police, take some legal advice.
If she ends up with a criminal record she'll lose her job anyway.

Does she have her workplace listed on her social media? If so then I think they would be more inclined to do something about it especially if she is filming you and posting the harassment online as they could argue that she is putting their company in disrepute. If her workplace isn’t listed they might still do something about it in the basis that her role is to look after vulnerable people and this type of behaviour is awful and therefore they would probably have serious questions about trust and confidence in her to work properly with service users.

Could the police or social services support you to make the complaint? Social services for adults may be interested given her role.

You might want to think about doing it anonymously though? Just thinking it might escalate if she were aware you had reported it. As tempting as it may be I wouldn’t post it on your social media. If things progress it will make you look better if you haven’t been posting things towards this person but they have posted about you.

It sounds like an awful situation and I really feel for you!

If she has an active police report, she won't pass her DBS renewal so would not be able to work with vulnerable. I think it is your duty to report to her employer, yes. I would do so anonymously to avoid further escalation.

I don't know why you haven't already.

I'll echo what a previous poster has advised. Seek legal advise, get a restraining order and advise her work.