something untoward or none of my beeswax?

[curtaintwitchersannonymous]

I live in a block of 6 flats, two on each level, and we have two shared gardens, one for the right side families and one for the left. This AIBU concerns the ground floor family below me, who I share a garden with.

Single mother, often has about 3 young children playing in the garden, quite often for most of the day. Sometimes 2 or 4 children, all different ages. I may be in the garden too, and say hello, and introduce myself, and ask for names, but I don't seem to remember their names very well - but then I am terrible with names and faces, always have been.

But it has just occurred to me I might have been being given different names at different times. I remember at least 2 names, but they never occurred again, so I thought nicknames, or middle names or something.

You know when you have known a neighbour for over a year, and you don't really feel comfortable asking their name again, because it seems you should know it.

Anyway, I just saw a girl in the garden, about 11 or 12, local secondary school uniform, and just thought about some mail I had wrongly delivered, and went to ask her her mums name. She said she couldn't pronounce her mums name. So I told her the name on the mail, and she said that is her auntie's name, so I gave her the mail. And I asked her her name.

I don't think I have seen this girl or heard this name before. She is huddled up under a sort of standing platform on an old climbing frame, in the rain, saying her mum will be back shortly. I am not convinced that she knows the woman who's house she is waiting to enter. But she is in a local school uniform, so presumably has proven identity??

I told her to ring my bell if her mum wasn't home soon, and wait in the warm, but I don't think she knew who I was, or where I lived, or that we share a garden.

Now I come to think of it, I have seen at least 3 ages of girl and 2 ages of boy playing in the garden, and going in and out of the flat - at least one girl is preschool, one around 4/5 and one around 9. These 3 have been out playing over this last week - I don't really recognise them, and they don't seem to recognise me either. I don't know if they are the same children I saw playing out in the summer.

Boys playing football, one mid secondary age, and one about 9/10/11 I would say -

As to how many different adults I have thought were staying there, I don't know, 2 at least. Maybe more

It is a two bedroom flat and the landlord told me a single mother was moving in, she has been there about 18 months.

I feel like I am being really thick - either I should know them all, or I should know that I don't know them.

Does any of this sound worrying to you? Or do I just sound like an idiot?

Is she child minding ?

ah yes! maybe! thanks for the quick response. That might explain everything!

She couldn't pronounce her mum's name?

I think this sounds worrying, tbh. Are there ever any men around?

Boys of mid-secondary age don't tend to have a childminder.

Do you know which one she lives in op? Could you knock under the guise of making sure she has the envelope and then start chatting to be sure?

I am not aware of men really, maybe I have seen men enter a couple of times over the last year, but generally I see women go in and out

You don't have to be a childminder to mind children though, perhaps they're family or friend's kids.

yes, I know the flat, she is ground floor beneath me. I also know the landlord, he lived there until recently himself. I am not sure I could contact him very easily though, but maybe

Do you think she may be looking after child refugees?

If you have any concerns about children left out in the rain, etc, then you can speak to a duty social worker at your local authority. Look up the number on council website. You can call anonymously and they will be aware of the background or able to enquire discretely.

She couldn't pronounce her mum's name, at 12? Did she have speech difficulties? Am I the only one that finds that weird.

I think I am going to do that. It helps that you mostly seem to agree with me that something doesn't seem quite right, I wasn't sure of my own judgement about this

Maybe she is a foster parent.

In any event leave the poor woman alone.

When Iived in our old flat my DC used to play out with a local boy of about 7. She once asked him what his mum’s first name was and he said he didn’t know. It turned out he was fostered. I still think it was odd though. I couldn’t think what called her if he didn’t know her first name.

Does sound like she might be a foster parent, I don't see where the safeguarding concern is. They're just kids playing in the garden.

Could be a short term foster carer

Unless you have concerns that any of the children seem unhappy or distressed or not cared for, I honestly wouldn’t worry. May be a child minder or foster carer. The child may not have wanted to say that the woman isn’t her mum to someone she doesn’t know so just said she couldn’t pronounce it.

You gave her Mail in the name of a person she said was her auntie after you gave her the name and you have no idea who she is ??!?

definitely not a legal fostering set up, and I would know- my main fear is an illegal fostering set up,

If you get a chance to naturally talk to her, maybe ask 'Oh are you a childminder?' - see what she says. Add that your friend is looking for one if necessary. Her reaction might be quite friendly and natural and put your mind at rest ... Or if it's more sinister, she would know someone has clocked things.

I think it's always good to be aware of dodgy set ups. Great if it turns out to be fine.

It sounds unusual. Now you're aware you could keep a closer eye for a while but if still concerned then report to ss.
12 year old out in the rain could have forgotten her key, I don't think that in itself is strange, but it's odd that lots of different children seem to be coming and going. Maybe just ask the woman - if it's foster care presumably she will tell you

Apologies if I'm way off the mark, but are you concerned it's some sort of trafficking/ nefarious set up? Have you spoken to the mum?

yes, that is what I am concerned about.

I have spoken to the Mum in passing, but we have not got to know each other

Maybe she didn’t want to give her mums name to someone that is a complete stranger to her? Probably quite smart of her really given she had no idea who the OP is.

The different children could be that she’s a childminder, has nieces and nephews, her kids had friends round.

A teenager in school uniform means they obviously go to school, and as long as the children looked clean and cared for I don’t think it’s likely there’s anything odd going on. If there was surely they wouldn’t be happy for the children to be seen out in the garden talking to neighbours.

If she lived there, I think she would recognise me, I am partially sighted and wear distinctive black glasses and have very bright ginger hair. And I am in the garden most days.

But even if you’re a neighbour that she’s seen she may not be comfortable giving you her mums name as she doesn’t really know you. You’re still a stranger to her really.

I wouldn’t think it was likely to be something like trafficking, given that there’s at least one child in school. It might be that there’s more than one family living there, given that she said the post was in her aunts name.