Getting measured for a bra - really embarrassed

[Mumbunz]

Since having my son I have somewhat let myself go. Anyway I have started to feel like myself again now he is 10 months old. So I thought it was time to sort myself out. Anyway I need some new bras, sexy ones not the wireless let your boobs droop type that I am wearing at the moment. My problem is my current bras are really disgusting, the colour has gone in them, ie they look grubby rather than pink! I am so embarrassed by them I can't bear to walk into a shop to get new ones fitted. I have tried to self measure so I can order online but I am getting nowhere near the measurements of my current bra. This is so embarrassing!

I've heard a lot about Bravissimo, but it's nowhere near where I live. Has anyone tried other shops like M&S, etc.? Is it worth going?

Ex corsetry fitter also, and agree with minou123, don't be embarrassed and go and get properly fitted I was trained to judge cup size by eye and to use a tape measure for the under bust measurement.

I was fitted in Bravissimo last month. Im a size 22 was was wearing a 38k bra. The assistant looked at what I was wearing, explained why it was too big and left to go get some items to try on. There was a robe I could wear while I was waiting for her to come back. When she came back she handed me the bras and waited outside while I put them on and I had to let her back into the changing room when I was ready. Then she checked the fit and repeated the process. I was there for half an hour and she never saw so much as a flash of my bare breast and couldn’t have been more lovely to me. I left feeling great about the whole thing.

Turns out I should have been wearing a 38j bra and I’ve been feeling like my boobs are up at my chin ever since (in a good way!)

Bravissimo also offer a virtual fitting service so perhaps you could ask for advice on why your new ones aren't quite fitting right. If there's independent fitters they likely better than m&s as usually stock more manufacturer brands. M&s bras for some reason just never seem to suit my shape even when gone in with bravissimo measured sizing.

I must've gone wrong with boob or bust calculation as cupsize suggested was massive I've never been that size (I regained lost weight) so I got cheapish branded one to try in 1 cup bigger than was wearing (2cups less than B or B suggested) and cup fit fine, back bit tight but could do up, so just bought cheap bra extender hook pack on eBay which is fine as hoping to lose weight and they stretch out some with wear anyway.

Go to a small independent lingerie shop. I went and the lady took a look at me in my clothes and brought some bras for me to try on. The first wasn't quite right and the second was perfect. There was no measuring or criticism.

It was a bit of a shock to find out I was smaller band size and bigger cup size but my clothes looked a lot better.

This was decades ago when anything not an A-D cup was hard to find.

Bravissimo can do a video call to help with fitting, they can also help over the phone. They ask lots of questions about how your current bra fits etc and suggest sizes. Give them a try.

Ive been m&s measured for 30 years. Never had a bad fit.

If you’re embarrassed about your bra, go to bravissimo. Pick a 34 F that you like off the rack, go try in on. Then peep out and say “ I don’t think this is quite right” and bingo, she’ll size you up in an instant and she’ll never see your old bra!!

I was the same as you. I went to m&S (I don't find Bravissimo to be comfy at all as they all really hurt around the rib cage) and when she asked me about my size i said i had been just in maternity night Bras size large so not a clue (pregnant whilst still breastfeeding first and covid combined meant not really wearing bras). It was totally discoloured but she didn't care.

I agree with @honeyytoast about self measuring using the formula on r/abrathatfits on reddit. There's lots of info not just on size, but shape, and the types of bras that will work for you.

I was a bit surprised by the size I came out at, but bought a cheap one from Vinted to test it out and it has ended a lifetime of constant yanking and weird cup fit. Now I'm slowly replacing every bra in my drawer with one that actually fits.

Trouble is a lot of places now who measure you "professionally" is that will have adopted the "new bra measuring" mantra and trying to jemmy women into tiny band measurements and massive cup sizes. Whereas I think most women prefer a bit of comfort even if it means your tits are not all hoiked up and shoved under your chin.

I'd say buy a cheap bra - Sainsbury's recycled lace comfort bras are cheap and good and if 32FF is tight round the band try a 34F to start with.

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc142429380

This is the most useful guide to measuring I've found, personally.

https://boobydoo.co.uk/how-to-find-your-bra-size-using-a-tape-measure/

To fit a 32 band bra, your under boob measurement (where the band sits) should be no more than 31.5".

The only judge is you on whether a bra looks good and feels comfortable. It's not something which requires a professional opinion.

you should go to bravissimo, the staff are so helpful. How far is you nearest one, can you make a trip out of it and do other shopping, have lunch etc.
don’t be embarrassed about the state of your existing bras, they will have probably seen worse and well there is a reason you are there - you know you need bras so worst case they just agree with you.

M&S fitting service were pretty awful, I can't wear the bra they sold me (I also wanted the lightly padded tshirt style bras and she insisted they wouldn't fit me right and sold me a lacy number which shows through clothes), and the size that boob or bust gave me from my measurements I couldn't even fasten, so I ordered a range of sizes and styles between the two sizes and found my best fit that way! I went down a back size and up a cup size from what M&S measured me as, and up a back size and down a cup size from what boob or bust gave. Different styles fit differently too depending on your body shape so I'd just order loads online, or buy a cheap supermarket bra to go to a fitting in.

I used to rate Bravissimo but I went after DC2 and they just didn't fit well, despite the fitter telling me they did. For some stupid reason I went along with her and spent a small fortune on bras I've never worn.

They are all quite pricey too.

Start with John Lewis or M&S and if you don't like the options, go to the other.

Tbh your better off measuring yourself anyway. Boob or bust measured me far better then the shop ones which were always too big and uncomfy

You need to play about with your Boob or Bust size as bras are all made differently. Some run smaller in the band or cups etc.
It can also be the bra style that can help with the fit so try a range of balconette, plunge, full cup etc.
I did an order from Debenhams with a range of styles in a couple of sizes to see which worked for me. I found full cup made the cups look too big so plunge works best for me.
If the 32 is really unbearable try a 34F as you go up a band and down a cup.

I'm on the biggest fan of "BoB". Mine came up 28F, and was so tight I couldn't breathe.

They have a group on Facebook, but they are SO cliquey and rude if you dare suggest that BOB sizes aren't right!

I'd use the BOB size as a starting point, and go up a couple of band sizes and down a couple of cup sizes, so 36E. I'd then go into M&S with a nice changing room and try LOADS of different ones, starting in size 36E, but also consider 34F.

The BOB size is just a starting point like when M&S measure you. BOB size opt for larger cups and smaller bands. M&S start with larger bands and smaller cups. Neither are incorrect, but you just need to keep going up or down a bit!

M&S bras are so tight on me and are not made true to size. I measure 34" under bust so in most places I'm a 36 band bordering 34, in M&S 36 bands are too tight - there's no way on this earth I should need a 38 bra.

Definitely not M&S
They put me in a 40HH and I'm a 34K
It was up round my neck at the back and double boob!

I second this.

Also, believe the measurements (at least to get started - different shaped bodies and boobs need different brands and styles). I wasted time and money rounding the numbers down rather a lot because I was alarmed by the resulting cup size.

I second that. Useless, as are Victoria's Secret. I am blursed with a large cup size/small back size, and both those places just tell you the wrong size in order to get you to buy their stuff. John Lewis is decent if you've one near you.

Rigby and Peller. They measure you without your bra on and the bras always fit perfectly. Plus if you go with your partner they may entertain them with coffee while they wait.

It's expensive but the best money I have ever spent.

Not that I'm an expert but...
The idea with these modern methods is that you take every loose bit of flesh close to your boob and shove it into the cup. Then the cup gets filled and what's left of you that the band sits on is smaller. Then the band fits comfortably enough and the cup is filled.

Did you push & scoop & squeeze all the flesh you could into those FF cups?

Did you push & scoop & squeeze all the flesh you could into those FF cups?
Where are you expecting us to get extra flesh from?? I mean I could do with moving some of my stomach up a bit......

The idea with these modern methods is that you take every loose bit of flesh close to your boob and shove it into the cup. Then the cup gets filled and what's left of you that the band sits on is smaller. Then the band fits comfortably enough and the cup is filled.

Did you push & scoop & squeeze all the flesh you could into those FF cups?

That's exactly what I found incredibly uncomfortable. I don't want to be all squashed in and shoved up @lljkk.

At bravissimo they ask you to remove your bra for the fitting service, so if you can travel to one, being seen in your old bra won't be an issue. I wouldn't bother with M&S, as their fitting service is abysmal. If you can get to Rigby & Peller, go there just to be fitted (you don't have to buy one of their extortionate bras).

The key thing to remember is each style (even if it's the same brand) will look and feel different, so although getting measured will help you narrow down your size, it's important to try what you want on. Bravissimo sizing is all over the place at the moment, whereas I used to find it was pretty consistent.