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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you about a time you left a job you hated and it all turned out ok?

40 replies

DelusionalBrilliance · 31/10/2023 22:09

Really struggling with my mental health the past year or so, totally aware this is most likely a “me” thing and not necessarily the work place, but I’m really at the end of my tether.

Basic call centre type job, outbound calls but not selling nor commission based. Been there just over a year and my god it’s soul destroying. Lots of internal office drama, constant feedback that’s rarely positive and no progression.

Feel like I’m in such a worse place mentally than I was before I started here. Prior to this I was a SAHM, my youngest is still just a baby of 18 months.

Financially it wouldn’t be awful, but would have to cut back on a few minor things.

I suppose I just feel like a bit of a failure, can’t even hack it in a low level job without feeling crap.

Should I just leave?

Did you ever walk out on a job for mental health reasons and things got better?

Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
TooTiredToAdultToday · 31/10/2023 22:12

I left a job I hated and which caused me severe mental health issues. My new job is going really well and I feel glad every day that I made that decision.

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 31/10/2023 22:12

Apply for a new job asap.
It's easier to get a new one while you have one
But life is too short to be unhappy.

WeightWhat · 31/10/2023 22:14

Send your CV to a recruiter. You’ll get something fast.

Whyty · 31/10/2023 22:14

Apply for jobs and resign when you have found one

YikYok · 31/10/2023 22:16

I left a job many years ago because the politics were awful, I had been exploited and badly let down by new management . I got another job and everything was fine.

Funnily enough I’m currently in my notice period leaving a job that has gone very sour and I can’t wait to escape. I hate it there! I haven’t got a job to go to, it’s that bad I just want to leave.

Feelinalrightwiththecrew · 31/10/2023 22:18

5 years ago, I was part of a mass redundancy when the call centre I was working in closed. My friend from there went to company A, I went to company B. I absolutely hated it from the start for all the reasons you say. After a month or so, a vacancy came up where my friend was. I applied and got it, and have never looked back. Its still a call centre but not in the traditional sense - easily achievable targets, relaxed and supportive atmosphere.

Please don't feel like you're a failure. Places like that are toxic and drag you down. Absolutely no-one will feel like a success there. So I say, go for it, apply for jobs elsewhere and don't look back.

SM4713 · 31/10/2023 22:19

Have you spoken to your GP to get some support? Have the mental health side of things started since having your latest child? It might be a form of PND.

Yes, I left a dreadful job where I was micromanaged by a women who had no experience in a sector I'd been in nearly 30yrs. It was awful. I left and it was the best thing I ever did. x

Facebookflight · 31/10/2023 22:20

I left a horrid bitchy job. It’s hard to see when you are in the job you hate as it drives your self esteem really low, but there are better jobs out there. You deserve a better working environment. Go for it

morningrollwithbutter · 31/10/2023 22:22

I am so so soooooo happy I left a job I hated.

No regrets whatsoever.

TheDuchessOfMN · 31/10/2023 22:24

I’d imagine you’ll just feel a sense of relief.

Don’t think of it as failure, it’s a brave thing to do.

Mummylovesmonkeys · 31/10/2023 22:28

I worked for the NHS in an admin role for several years. There was one member of staff in the office who was a huge 'black hole' - she sucked the joy out of every day. The manager micro-managed.

I suffer from IBS so have to visit the loo frequently - my boss asked me why I hadn't finished a task he gave me (lack of time/information from the 'black hole'), and said 'well you have time to keep going to the loo.' That was the last straw.

I was called in for a disciplinary hearing with the deputy manager. I put an envelope on the desk. When she asked what it was, I said 'my resignation'. The relief was immediate and wonderful.

I had 4 weeks notice to work. Week 1 - no one in the office would talk to me. Week 2 - 4 - on my way into work I had a fall and broke my elbow. I could have worked one handed, but why the F$ck should I bother?

Signed up with an agency, and after my sick pay ended I was signed up with an agency, and never looked back.

Now a civil servant employed by the department I was placed with, and SO much happier. Great friends, great management, great working conditions!

ShutTheDoorBabe · 31/10/2023 22:28

I was on a fixed term contract and had about 2 months left to go. I hated it and had been trying my best to get to the end but when I thought about crashing the car to avoid going, I decided to go to the gp and get signed off with stress and anxiety. I didn't put that job on my CV and went back to day-to-day supply work as soon as my contract and the sick note was up.

WelshNerd · 31/10/2023 22:28

I know the traditional wisdom is it's easier to get a job while your employed but it's not a view I subscribe to.

I've quit many jobs that just weren't working for me and always moved on to better things in the long run. One of them was a toxic call centre environment like you describe and honestly life is too short for that nonsense.

Mytholmroyd · 31/10/2023 22:31

Yes - and it was a family business so very difficult to leave. Best thing I ever did.

Whodatdare · 31/10/2023 22:45

No you are not a failure and yes you should leave. I have been there and to a certain extent still am but I've managed to get another part time job in a store which may well be considered "low level" but it involves helping customers who are very grateful for my help and I am lucky enough to work with other friendly members of staff who help each other. I have had two separate calls centre jobs in the past and they are soul destroying and slowly kill off any self worth you had before you reluctantly took the job.
When I walked out of the last one I immediately felt better about myself for doing it and felt confident enough to just walk into a local business and simply ask if anything was going. Just ask around. The answer you receive can't be any worse than some of the shit we have had deal with at the call centre. By leaving I began to have more confidence and am now beginning to slowly rebuild and believe in myself and have time to look at what I really want. I also recommend contacting NHS Wellbeing service. You only live once. Good luck

WrongSwanson · 31/10/2023 22:58

I left a job in hated without another one to go to. It wasn't a good time to do that, height of the 2009 recession and noone in my field was recruiting. But my mental health was in bits.
Some wonderful colleagues (who were aware How toxic my boss was) got me some good voluntary positions and I did a master's degree

It was a wobbly time and very tight financially, but eventually I spotted a job I thought might just set me on a new interesting path and I've been there 12 years now and rose swiftly up the ladder

So, all's well that ends well - but if you can possibly line up a new job before leaving I would strongly recommend it

SeamsLegit · 31/10/2023 23:31

Leaveeeeeeee. I did, it was great. If you know you can cope financially, there is nooo reason to chip away at your happiness and mental health - it's not worth it. See it as a challenge, learn to live cheaper. It's a life skill. Good luck xx

porridgeisbae · 01/11/2023 00:04

Yes, I gave up teacher training (it was paid then and also was my only career plan.) Gave up some other jobs due to MH issues too. If you have to, you have to. Arguably no job is worth it making you ill.

neverenoughplants · 01/11/2023 00:04

About 7 years ago I had moved across the country for something that I thought would be my dream job. I knew it would be tough because it was very different to what I'd done before, so when I found it a struggle, I just assumed it would get better.

It didn't - I found the job itself difficult and some of the people even worse (some were lovely, but the people I worked most closely with, and my bosses, were all of a particular personality type - very intelligent but very critical, demanding and rigid). I agonised over this for ages, but eventually I realised I just couldn't carry on. When I left, I had to give quite a lot of notice (it was written into the contract) - so for a couple of months I had people telling me I was making a mistake, I would regret it, etc etc.

I didn't and still don't regret it - I'm now much happier; my next job wasn't perfect but it allowed me to get away from the one I hated, and have some peace of mind to start figuring out what I wanted and needed

I'm lucky because I did line up another job to go to when I left - I can understand the hesitation to leave without something else to go to. Might be worth doing a career aptitude test if you feel a bit lost and not sure what you'd like to do. Or, just browse career ideas and see what jumps out at you. Even if you leave and move to something else you don't like, nothing has to be permanent and you can still get some interesting or useful experience to use when you apply for something different.

VeridicalVagabond · 01/11/2023 00:11

Yep. Walked out of my previous retail management job when I'd just had enough of the absolute bullshit of it (it was awful for a million reasons). No plan, nowhere to go, just threw my keys at my boss and told him to go fuck himself.

Best thing I ever did! I found a new job easily when I didn't have the cloud of doom and gloom from that place looming over me, and am much much happier now.

lewberum · 01/11/2023 00:19

I left a job I was unhappy with and went back to being a sahm. Financially it wasn't a stretch and I was just happier not dealing with stuff like that daily. I work for myself now and don't think I have the patience to work with others again.

Theringcycle · 01/11/2023 00:24

About a decade ago I left a City job - well, I was pushed out after struggling for months - and my confidence was so low that I didn’t know what I would do next. I then got a job doing similar work but a different environment and the difference from day 1 was unbelievable and showed me that I was not the “problem”. I thrived there and am now in a very senior role where ironically my old firm now needs to bid for work from me.

Cattenberg · 01/11/2023 00:44

Funnily enough, your thread title made me think of my job in a call centre, many years ago! I hated it and my only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner. It was the worst job I ever had and affected my mental health.

Low-paid jobs might not need professional qualifications, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy. Some are really tough. Have you ever seen Undercover Boss? Many of these CEOs would have been sacked if they were genuine rookie sales people, factory workers or hotel cleaners.

The job market hasn’t been bad in recent years, although that might be starting to change now. Are there other vacancies locally? As you already have a job, you’ll have an advantage when applying. Perhaps admin or sales assistant roles would be an OK fit for the time being?

Amermaidandaman · 01/11/2023 00:53

I left my teaching job after 10 years there. Similar to another poster I was hoping to be in an accident so I could have a few weeks off and that’s not healthy!
I’ve applied for tons of jobs outside teaching and had loads of interviews with really good feedback but not been offered any of the jobs.
I have now signed up with an agency and after 1 bad week in a school I’ve walked into my absolute dream role and I can’t believe how much happier I am!

Mustardforest · 01/11/2023 01:18

Get the heck out! You only live once and all that.

I worked in a wildly stressful job (fully remote) for a year and a half through lockdowns. 70+ hour weeks, absolutely drained me, forever 'on call' and on edge, expected to be responsive 24/7 despite it being a poorly paid 9-5 job. Had to fight for any overtime pay despite a detailed timesheet.

Had a huge crash through burn out and turned into a jibbering wreck. Applied for a temporary job just for a get out quick method and still have an income, never looked back.

I now get paid more, work in a pretty laid back job which super insists on work/life balance, isn't super strict, and I've got the ability to still have a social life, read, do a masters degree, and pursue other interests. I look back on that job now with a shudder and have no idea how/why I stayed so long. Think I got indoctrinated by the 'WE ARE ALL A FAMILY HERE!' vibe. Y'know the sort.

TLDR; run and enjoy yourself!