To think Mum's should get to pick the baby names?

[GlitterGlobe30]

Aibu to think Mums should get to pick baby's first names after they have done all the work to give birth, body changes, morning sickness etc? Especially because Dad's get to give the baby his second name so seems a bit wrong that he gets to pick the first name too.

I just see other threads on Mumsnet about arguments over baby names.

But I'm completely prepared to be told if you think this is unreasonable, more just wanted to hear people's thoughts on this :)

Utterly ridiculous. Both parents should have equal input into all the baby's names.

Well maybe not pick but definitely utilise the situation to your advantage....

My DH does not believe in middle names. We had chosen a first name. After I gave birth I cried "but what if I never have another girl I will never get to use that name" so we got a middle name.

And of course I then had another girl!!

Yeah...both contributions are exactly the same.😆

Me and my husband agreed I would pick the forename. I gave him a short list of names I loved then we selected from that list.

Kids have a (1st) middle name from his family and a (2nd) middle name from my family. Surname is DH surname (I haven't changed my name- not decided if I will).

No

There are many inequalities in a parenting partnership (be that marriage or not). Should all of the "benefits" of those be split pro rata?

If you can't compromise on a baby's name, why have you had a baby together???

It's a shared decision

V unreasonable. Firstly you don’t have to give the baby the father’s surname nor do you have to change yours. Secondly, both people need to like their child’s name and there needs to be discussion and compromise.

Given some of the things that I read on here it seems rare to have any sort of sensible discussion about your views/expectations for the future with a partner but yes this 100%!

I think mums should get the final say if there's a tie-breaker situation but generally the couple should choose one they both like.

I loved the name Violet but husband absolutely hated it. We used it as a middle name and choose something else as her first name.

I'm sort of with you OP - certainly mum should get final say. But I also agree that if a couple can't agree on sensible names, they probably shouldn't be having a baby together.

If a tie breaker then yes. Mums are statistically far far more likely to be left with the DC and all the long term financial and emotional and practical stress and implications that entails if the relationship fails.

Assuming parents are together, definitely not. If you can’t even agree a name together that doesn’t bode well for joint parenting. And baby doesn’t have to have dad’s surname. Your attitude perpetuates the unhelpful norm that dads are the lesser parent

Why do you assume that the baby will automatically get the Dad's surname? That isn't so. You can give the baby your surname, and if you live separately from the Dad then it can be advisable to do that. You don't even have to put him on the birth certificate if he could be a real problem to co-parent with.

Otherwise, I think naming the baby should be a joint decision as far as possible. Both parents will be using the name, so will have to live with the choice, as will the child.

I don't think babies should have their father's last name automatically either. Naming should be a discussion.

Well if you've done ' all the work to give birth, body changes, morning sickness' why not bother with a man at all? Just get yourself artificially inseminated by a sperm donor and crack on raising your child. 🙄

No. But keep pushing your choice

It's hard to disagree with a woman when she has just given birth

I picked both my kids’ names, first and middle. My husband said no to a couple because it reminded him of unpleasant people, but otherwise of course I got to pick the names. I created these humans from scratch, his contribution was microscopic.

if Parents are together then I think both should have an input to agree on a name they both love.

Absolutely this