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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find the new girlfriend annoying

77 replies

denpark · 31/10/2023 18:41

My ex's new girlfriend is really really annoying me.

She has systematically gone through his old Facebook photos of when we were married and liked all of the ones where he's on his own. Most of his photos have our children in (and me as well), so she's really taken her time to do this.

This has actually really angered me.

She didn't know him then.
He wasn't with her then. He was with me (and was for a very long time until he cheated).

She's clearly done this to make some kind of point.

OP posts:
NinaGeiger · 31/10/2023 20:57

Anyone saying they don't get why you're angry is being deliberately obtuse.

Of course it's annoying.

Fourlegsandatail · 31/10/2023 20:57

Gosh if a new partner went through my historic FB posts and liked the ones I was on my own I would think he was a total nutter. Your ex will probably think the same!

Sidebeforeself · 31/10/2023 21:00

@NinaGeiger No need for that. Im not being deliberately obtuse..Im genuinely asking OP why it makes her angry.

Imperfectp3rf3ction · 31/10/2023 21:00

She absolutely has done it to peeyou off / Mark territory ect.

You are the bar for her, he cheated on you with her she's sat there thinking am I as pretty as her ?do i do x better? Do I do y better? Does he still love her. So she's acting a silly petty twat to make herself feel better. You have to rise above it absolutely and take pity on her feeling she has to act this way otherwise your ex gets both of you acting crazy over him.

CryptoFascist · 31/10/2023 21:06

I'd be embarrassed for her! dear me.

Runningonjammiedodgers · 31/10/2023 21:14

Honestly block her. I block all my exH gfs as soon as I get wind there is a new one on the seen and the kids have mentioned a name. I guess they are likely to have a snoop at my Facebook and I am none of their business. Also it stops me snooping back or getting wound up like you have.

Set your boundaries and keep them there, no need to have anything to do with her. The only thing you have in common with your exH is the DCs and she doesn't need to be included in any parenting.

As the years roll on and the gfs come and go you will just naturally give less of a fuck.

gamerchick · 31/10/2023 21:17

Blocking her will stop her seeing any photos you've posted tbh.

GymBergerac · 31/10/2023 21:35

I wouldn't be FB friends with either my ex or his girlfriend, easiest way not to see their photos or any interactions with them.... 🙄

Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 31/10/2023 21:54

Well if she's doing it to wind you up, she's succeeded hasn't she. Just ignore it.

Cosywintertime · 31/10/2023 22:09

I don’t get these responses at all. She’s liked pics of him. Just him, on his Facebook page. The op probably isn’t even on her mind. She’s done it on his face book page, not the op’s. She won’t have even considered the op. It’s really not about the op. At all.

I don’t get why she can’t do this. I couldn’t be arsed myself, but so what. She’s his partner. There is no rule that says you can’t like pics of a partner before you met them.

its bonkers on here sometimes, like a partners pics on face book before you met them and you’re doing it to piss off the ex. On what planet is that true.

Cosywintertime · 31/10/2023 22:10

gamerchick · 31/10/2023 21:17

Blocking her will stop her seeing any photos you've posted tbh.

Is this the confusion? She’s not liked them in the ops profile. She’s liked them on his.

and you don’t get notifications if someone likes a photo on someone else’s profile,no matter who took it. The op is clearly stalking his Facebook.

SoTired12 · 31/10/2023 22:16

She's immature, jealous and trying to piss you off. Just ignore, blocking her will make her think she's got to you/won.

Montaguez · 31/10/2023 22:17

and you don’t get notifications if someone likes a photo on someone else’s profile,no matter who took it. The op is clearly stalking his Facebook.

If I take a photo of my cousin and upload it on my profile, but then tag my cousin's profile name on it, then the photo will both be on my profile and also on my cousin's profile. On my cousin's profile it will show under "photos of Cousin Name", so people who are on my cousin's page can like them, but I will get a notification because it's my photo.

Montaguez · 31/10/2023 22:18

So the photo would have my cousin tagged in it and so show on her page, but the photo itself is linked to my profile as I uploaded it.

Montaguez · 31/10/2023 22:21

There are sections to Facebook photos. "Uploads" shows photos the person has uploaded themselves, "Photos of X" show photos they have also been tagged in which may have been uploaded and therefore linked to other people's profiles.

I have a friend who uploaded a photo of 3 of us and tagged us. It will show on my profile as I'm tagged but it is still her photo. If someone else liked the photo on her page, I'd be notified because I am tagged in it... If someone liked it on my page, she would be notified because she uploaded it. That's how tagging works.

denpark · 31/10/2023 22:48

Cantstopcoughing · 31/10/2023 19:36

I blocked exh new wife on fb, there wasn’t a need for me to see her posts or likes etc, although occasionally like numbers didn’t add up but I stopped looking and counting. In the end he messed up again and she disappeared.

I'm trying to ignore the like numbers as they're not adding up at all (she's the only person I've blocked so I know it's her liking things).

It'll get easier in time, I'm sure, but I'd happily wring her scrawny little neck.

OP posts:
denpark · 31/10/2023 22:54

AnneKipankitoo · 31/10/2023 20:51

Why are you bothered ?

Because her existence pisses me off. They destroyed my life and I cannot stand her (or him). She targeted him and pretended to befriend me at one point.

OP posts:
denpark · 31/10/2023 22:55

gamerchick · 31/10/2023 21:17

Blocking her will stop her seeing any photos you've posted tbh.

You'd think so, but she can see all the historically tagged ones.

OP posts:
denpark · 31/10/2023 22:57

Just to clarify. I'm not looking at his FB page. I'm getting notifications when someone likes MY photos that he's tagged in that are appearing in his 'photos of you' section.

Not sure if I can get that feature turned off??

OP posts:
Bobbotgegrinch · 31/10/2023 22:57

Does it matter, really? I mean, I get that you have reason to dislike her but is this behaviour actually affecting your life?

Just shake your head at her pathetic mess, and then try to forget about it. It's just wasted anger that serves no purpose.

Better yet, block them both, you don't need access to his Facebook account in order to coparent.

Moveoverdarlin · 31/10/2023 23:00

I came off Facebook years ago. It was so freeing.

denpark · 31/10/2023 23:00

It doesn't matter. I think it's just the last straw in a whole long list of ridiculous and petty behaviour that I've had to deal with over the past few months.

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 31/10/2023 23:01

denpark · 31/10/2023 22:57

Just to clarify. I'm not looking at his FB page. I'm getting notifications when someone likes MY photos that he's tagged in that are appearing in his 'photos of you' section.

Not sure if I can get that feature turned off??

Tighten up your settings
Block her

Aquamarine1029 · 31/10/2023 23:01

Block the silly, sad little bitch. Every day she lives with the knowledge that her partner is nothing but a cheat. He cheated with her, he'll cheat on her, and she knows it.

Hardheadedwoman39 · 31/10/2023 23:02

I would untag him in the photos and then she won't see them but you can them still keep them.

Having said that when I split with my ex I removed photos that included them/us as a family and kept them privately.

Whatever is going to cause you the least stress in the situation is the best choice.