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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you take your phone everywhere?

296 replies

Estermay · 31/10/2023 13:10

I have read people astounded that others do not take their phone everywhere. I don't. If I am going out to a barwith friends I leave it at-home. No point losing it, which i would if i took it. Or if I am popping out to the local shop I leave it, I don't need it.
So do you take your phone everywhere?
YABU = yes I do
YANBU = I dont

OP posts:
wowsers6 · 31/10/2023 16:24

Shoxfordian · 31/10/2023 13:19

My phone is pretty much surgically attached

Same. I am glued to it. Take it everywhere. Everyone I know is the same.

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 31/10/2023 16:26

Perhaps the understanding gap for you is that a phone is a tool for you to use as and when you need it. You are the master, it is your slave. There’s no link between having a phone in your bag and not being present with your friends because you’re on social media all the time!

margotrose · 31/10/2023 16:29

All your back-up plans seem to rely on other people having their phones on them. Do you genuinely not see the irony in that?

Beezknees · 31/10/2023 16:30

I do. It makes me feel safer that I can make a call if I am in trouble.

cardibach · 31/10/2023 16:30

Estermay · 31/10/2023 16:13

And people keep talking about practical things they can use phones for. IME most people use it for social media when out and about, or watching videos.
It's nice to be present.

So you don’t see people using it to pay, to call taxis, to map a route, to check where is open…any of the loads of things I use mine for? I take pictures, yes, which might go on social media eventually. Occasionally even if I’m out if I have friends who will be interested in where I am. I don’t watch videos out - too much data use.

ACGTHelixA · 31/10/2023 16:32

9/10 times i take it with me, on the odd occasion i forget it or its only to the local shop.

ColleenDonaghy · 31/10/2023 16:36

I am more likely to forget my children than my phone.

The whole bloody point of them is that they travel. If you don't want to use it, fine, leave it on silent in your bag but you never know when you will need to make a call or look something up. Plus, as so many have said, it's how I pay for things. Never bring a wallet any more, just phone and watch.

Original poster
Estermay · 31/10/2023 16:40

Don't be daft. I have phone when DH is at work. When he is not at work they can try and contact either of us.
And 99% of the time when I pop to the cemetery without a phone they are still in bed with DP in the house.
There is a massive difference between thinking a phone is not always necessary. And being an idiot.
And I have lost my phone a number of times. I am trying to minimise that.
My phone will not fit into pockets easily in a going out outfit. And at the grave I am often carrying old flowers, new flowers, etc and it's easy to get distracted. I don't need it these places, but they are high risk for losing my phone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Estermay · 31/10/2023 16:43

margotrose · 31/10/2023 16:29

All your back-up plans seem to rely on other people having their phones on them. Do you genuinely not see the irony in that?

No they do not. I said DP could ring me at the bar if an emergency happens. We have a landline and bars have phones.
But I don't plan back up plans for ever more unlikely scenarios that are very unlikely to happen.

OP posts:
MrsRetriever · 31/10/2023 16:48

Estermay · 31/10/2023 16:13

And people keep talking about practical things they can use phones for. IME most people use it for social media when out and about, or watching videos.
It's nice to be present.

It depends on what you do. You seem to have very rigid plans - for those of us who are more fluid, or who want to take photos/listen to music/use social media/book taxis/check train times/pay for things/order food when out, it’s useful.

do you only go out to one bar with friends & to the cemetery?

NooNakedJacuzziness · 31/10/2023 16:49

I often leave mine at home - I love the freedom of being uncontactable for a while.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 31/10/2023 16:50

I am talking about a bar with friends where dp will be picking me up at the end of the evening.

In that situation I'd have my phone so I could text DH when and where to pick me up. If I'm driving myself I have my phone so that I can call someone if I have an issue or emergency when I'm driving round on country lanes. Quite often I'll leave my phone in my coat pocket but I still need to have it on me.

Relying on a bar having a phone rather than simply taking your own phone sounds like an unnecessary faff to me.

margotrose · 31/10/2023 16:54

Estermay · 31/10/2023 16:43

No they do not. I said DP could ring me at the bar if an emergency happens. We have a landline and bars have phones.
But I don't plan back up plans for ever more unlikely scenarios that are very unlikely to happen.

Show quote history

You sound very rigid in your thinking and your behaviour.

My plans aren't so set in stone that my DH would know exactly what time and where to pick me up before I'd even left home.

margotrose · 31/10/2023 16:54

NooNakedJacuzziness · 31/10/2023 16:49

I often leave mine at home - I love the freedom of being uncontactable for a while.

See, this makes no sense to me. You can just turn your phone off or put it on DND if you don't want to be contacted, but at least you still have it on you in case of an emergency.

melj1213 · 31/10/2023 16:56

YABU

I use my phone for everything and if there's only one thing I take when I leave the house it's my phone.

It has all my cards - both debit cards for paying in Google pay and all my loyalty cards in the Stocard app. I have a purse with all the physical cards somewhere in the house but I could not tell you where it is off hand as I haven't needed it for literally years.

It has tickets for everything - bus/train/plane tickets are all on my phone; if I'm going to the cinema/theatre/concert/sports game, tickets are all QR codes on my phone so I don't have to worry about the physical tickets and they are accessible in seconds but also secure under my biometric locks

It the key to my house - we have smart locks that I can open with my phone so I don't have to carry keys with me, which is great since DD was always losing keys, now she just has to use her phone (though there is a manual failsafe if you don't have your phone)

It is my entertainment system - music/podcasts/TV/books/audiobooks - for when I'm on long journeys/out walking on my own

It's my organisation system - I have all my calenders/diary/schedules etc all there and my emails/texts are connected so if I get an email for an event then I can usually automatically add it to my calender in seconds. I can add reminders for almost anything to alert me at intervals useful to me. Additionally if I'm out and about and trying to organise the best route to/from somewhere I can look up train/bus/walking routes in seconds.

It's my mini computer - need to look something up? Need to check the opening times of the shop I want to go to? Need to book tickets for something? Need to transfer money to DD/a friend? All can be done from my phone in seconds no matter where I am

It also functions as a communication device - mostly text/WhatsApp (very rarely will I phone people) but means I can contact anyone if/when needed. I'm also a first aider at work so I always have my phone on me so that if I'm called to an emergency I can call 999 immediately (and in the last 6mo I've had to do that 4 times) if necessary rather that having to rely on someone else to either be nearby or available to call for me.

ETA: and all of that is done whilst my phone is permanently on silent - if I need it it is there but it doesn't disturb me ringing/chiming unless I actively check it.

zingally · 31/10/2023 17:02

I always take it everywhere. Just purely because that's easier than having the internal debate with myself every time I leave the house as to whether I need it or not!
The only time I might not take it is if I'm literally just walking the 5 mins to the local shop.

ColleenDonaghy · 31/10/2023 17:04

It's not even about emergencies, although that is a big part of it for me.

It's something to do if I arrive first. If we're chatting about an outing I can check train times or if there are tickets for that show. I do like to take the odd photo (not for social media, just for my own memories) although I do that more with the kids than friends. It's nice to be flexible so if the first bar is packed or dead you can move on elsewhere and let your DH know where to pick you up, or go for an impromptu pizza or whatever. If there's a lively debate over something you can check the answer.

We can carry the entire knowledge of the human race in our pockets, I don't understand giving that up.

Plus, emergencies.

Cosyblankets · 31/10/2023 17:10

A fair few of your examples centre on going to the cemetery. I wouldn't even have thought of that as an example. I wouldn't necessarily take it with me to the cemetery but if i did it would be on silent so that if it did ring i wouldn't hear it. Or I would leave it in the car.
I assume where your partner picks you up from is easy to get parked. I was picking my in laws up from city centre venue with very little waiting time let alone parking and it stressed me out because they'd left the phone at home and i had nowhere to stop and no way of contacting them. I wasn't in the position to stop the car and Google the number of the venue.
I don't use my phone to pay but i do have my cards in my phone holder.
I'm self employed, it's my diary.
As for nipping to the shop, unless you're walking you may have a car accident at any time. My supermarket is a 5 minute drive and i recently almost had my car written off. I needed my phone for photos and to phone someone to come and get me and to phone the breakdown company.
Of course we managed years ago. But people seem to forget that there's an off button. If you don't want to be contacted you can just switch it off.

Borborygmus · 31/10/2023 17:27

Yes, same here.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 31/10/2023 17:30

My DP doesn't even own a phone and he's managed not to die yet

Paperbagsaremine · 31/10/2023 17:32

That ... is kind of the point of having a mobile phone!

After all, you're not obliged to take any notice of it.

margotrose · 31/10/2023 17:36

NooNakedJacuzziness · 31/10/2023 17:30

My DP doesn't even own a phone and he's managed not to die yet

My dad always thought like this - that they're not necessary because he's never had one and never needed one and he's always been fine.

Until he did - he fell out running and smacked his head off the concrete. He knocked himself out and had no means to contact anyone. Luckily he wasn't far from home and someone recognised him, but it could have been a lot worse. He ended up concussed and needing medical intervention.

He now owns a mobile phone because he recognises it could save his life. It lives (switched off!) in his bag but he always takes it.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 31/10/2023 17:40

Well, each to his own. If I lost my phone life wouldn't grind to a halt.

mydogisthebest · 31/10/2023 17:40

I often don't have my phone with me. If me and DH go out together I quite often don't take my phone and I never ever take it upstairs when I go to bed.

Gremlins101 · 31/10/2023 17:42

Yes only in case something occurs with the kids. The odd time I forget it, my husband hates it.