To think living in a city is too much for DC?

[AllstarFacilier]

DC1 is applying for university. They want a job that will most likely mean they’ll need to live in a city, as there won’t be many opportunities for it. It’s a niche, arty specialism and tbh wouldn’t transfer to other jobs much, so they need to be absolutely sure that they want to do this before starting to pay for the course.

The pay is hard to find an average of, as most things say you can expect between £35000 and £85000 per year, so quite varied and I imagine will depend on experience.

Round our little town, £35000 sounds a decent wage. Houses are around £12000 for a nice semi 2 bedroomed with a drive. So DC thinks this is a good wage. However, if moving to a city such as London or Manchester, I doubt this will translate as well. I’m not sure how much accommodation would be in London, or where the areas people live in to be able to travel in to the main area. Does anyone know how much it would cost roughly for one person to rent and travel in London? Plus then there will be council tax, bills etc.

I don’t want to put them off a career they are passionate about, but I also don’t want them to have a degree that is unusable around here and not be able to afford to use it elsewhere.

YABU - let them figure it out as they go and it will all work out
YANBU - City life is too expensive for a single person to start off in a career

Let him live his life. He doesn't perhaps want to stay in mums little town he grew up in and wants a broader horizon.

Edit I said he but you say they. Non binary DC then they can live their own life.

I agree absolutely with @Goodornot.

I grew up in a small, economically deprived town and couldn't wait to get out. I did an equally niche, arty dregree and have lived in cities ever since. Sometimes times were tough financially, but I managed.

For a young person in London, £35000 is ok. They'll be in shared housing, socialising cheaply and eating beans on toast a fair amount - but likely having a blast.

You’re not making sense. You say their degree is in a niche art specialism that will require them to live in a city, then you say you want them to be able to use it in your small town, because they will be afford to be live there? A small town isn’t going to offer much or any opportunities for work what you describe.

They will figure out Manchester or London, as we all did, starting off in squalid house shares etc.

London, Manchester, etc are full of young single people starting out on their careers and living in often fairly rubbish rental flats so clearly it is completely do-able.

It is completely normal for recent graduates to live in large cities. They will live in houseshares. Flatshare somewhere is probably starting around 800quid per month in London.

Some of the flats they live in will probably be quite grotty. They'll go out lots. They'll work lots. There will be adventures. There will be rubbish bits.

It won't be a 2 bed semi with a drive but maybe that isn't the life they want to have?

Sorry if I’ve confused, I must have muddled something up. If they were to stay local, they could get an apprenticeship or work in a different field. They wouldn’t be able to do the job that the degree leads to locally.

I also didn’t include my worry that they are autistic and struggle making conversation with people, and so I’m worried they’ll be very isolated elsewhere. But I also know they’d probably submerge themselves in the work and they don’t have friends at home so they wouldn’t necessarily miss out there. My concern is mostly the funding.

You need to step away and let them make the decisions.

Plenty of autistic people live in cities.

Cut the apron strings.

35k is ok for a young person in London in a house share. Let them make their own decisions.

Have you considered Glasgow or Edinburgh, brilliant vibrant cities, London isn't the only city!

I have no idea why you are concerning yourself with this.

It's your dc's life, it's entirely their decision where they go to uni and what they do afterwards - you should be encouraging them to spread their wings.

Also, they can go to uni in one city and apply for jobs anywhere, they don't have to stay put.

They're more likely to make like-minded friends through a course and job they're passionate about or by living in shared accommodation, tbh.

I live in Surrey and it costs £250 ish to travel to Victoria (no tube just over ground) and it’s a bit cheaper to live here than central London. Travel is cheaper in London than elsewhere. They’d probably be better living in Manchester if they get to choose, as no doubt it’s cheaper than here. I earn 63k, single parent and I pay £1300 in rent for a 2 bed flat, 1/3 of my take home salary. Your child won’t need a 2 bed flat though, they’d probably just need a shared room, which will be fine on 35k. You do need to step away a bit though and let them make the decision. If they’ve grown up in a small town they might want to leave, that’s what happened to me and I never regretted leaving, even if it was hard just me, age 24 and my 7yr old son. Made it work though, as hard as it is, you need to let them go with their choice now, not what you think they should do. By all means guide and offer advice, but don’t put them off doing something because you don’t think they’d like it when you don’t know that

I would encourage to share your thoughts but let them make the decision. I am very grateful now that I was able to discuss my career choices with my mum when I was 17, she always supported my choices but helped me see the pros and cons I wasn't aware of myself at that age.

Are those the only 2 cities they could work in then?

Is it the type of job that could involve hybrid work because that would enable him to live further out where it's likely to be cheaper.

Agree with everyone else. It's much much better for people starting out a career to be in a city. It's where the opportunities are. Once they've found their feet career wise there's more scope to negotiate terms , live further out etc if that's what they want. Though it may not be. The start of your career is not the time to worry about house prices and limit your horizons based on that.

And also based on what you describe, I think realistically the wage isn't 35k at a new starter, that would be a very high wage for a graduate. Art fields in particular usually comes with loads of unpaid or poorly paid internships first to get experience, and first jobs are not very well paid.

35k is fine to live in London, but I don't think that what he'll get. I'm in a scientific industry and that's what we pay for juniors with a couple of years of experience.

I'd worry that as an autistic "person" (can't say he or she as you won't say) they'd never be able to move out of their comfort zone living in the same small town.

My partner is autistic spectrum and he does struggle in crowds , noise, etc. He has a job in London and nice friends.

Your DC will be OK.

Thank you for the info. £800 is a lot less than I’d have thought, so that makes me feel better. They’re quite naive and think that they’ll be in a house on their own, so I’m having to make sure they’re prepared for a flat share and the idea it may be grotty! They also hear £35000 and think that will all go in their pocket, so I need to explain rent, bills, tax, student loans etc.

My goal isn’t to keep them in our town and have a job they’re unhappy at. I want them to be happy and enjoy their job, I’d rather a happy job than a well paid job. But I also need to make sure they’re prepared. This passion has only came about in the last few months, so I’m also afraid of them changing their mind, but I have to accept that’s a possibility with any degree/apprenticeship they do. My goal of the post is to find out if that’s a lovable wage in a city.

More information would help, OP. What is the degree? There may well be someone on here who works in the field.

My brother has just moved to London (I've lived here 15 years) I would just say I've been shocked at the rental market. It's absolutely cut throat, he had to pay 6 months up front and they had to put deposits before doing viewings. He was on the phone to every estate agent he could and the free market sites, they pay £2700 for a three bed in a nice area. I doubt they would be able to afford to live alone. Council tax, water, electricity, gas, travel, food are very expensive.

I would absolutely be encouraging my DC to pursue their subject of interest and to work towards living independently away from their small home town.

I can’t imagine a why someone wouldn’t want to help out their child or show concern, whether they’re autistic or not.

Of course it’s their decision, I’m not planning on stopping them. I’d like them to be fully aware of what it all entails before they make a big decision though.

They’re not planning on going to uni in London, just living there afterwards.

It's much better for your child to pursue their interest and have a career they enjoy. If it doesn't work out, they can rethink. It's not the end of the world. Hopefully it will work out. Also, if they pursue this specialism and the salary can increase, what's to say they don't end up being extremely successful in their field and at the higher end of the wage spectrum?

If it's an art related course/career, have they done an Art foundation year or any relevant work experience?

You're way too over invested. Regardless of what career they pursue they might want to live in a city anyway. It's not your choice.

Thank you. It’s theatre work, like set design. They want to do big shows like the west end etc. They haven’t yet had a go at it, so I’m encouraging them to join the local amateur groups to see if they do enjoy it, but they’re anxious at the prospect of applying.