Chandler

[Chickenkeev]

I really feel his loss. He was a stalwart of my growing up. It's a self indulgent post, i realise that. But i do feel it.

I do blame him for his attitudes. You're right that he should have known better by the time he was an adult. That said, a 14-year-old who is into substances is the responsibility of his parents and wider society.

Overall, I am just so glad that era is over!

That era is absolutely not over! I don't mean to be rude, but it's more dangerous now than ever. If you're happy enough to diss MP, you should be super aware of the dangers for kids now. Damn!

It's not like it was! Yes, there are major risks for kids now as far as drugs, but there's a lot more awareness of the dangers of prescription medication. When I was a teen in California, kids could get it more easily than candy because at least they had to be able to drive to a store to get that.

I mean mostly that attitudes are much better. It's interesting that Britney's memoir about the way entitled men treated her has come out at the same time as Matthew Perry (the poster child for a nepo baby who couldn't do anything to get himself fired). Only supermodels had value for guys like Matthew Perry and those guys were in charge of everything. Things really have improved.

He looked awful at the end. I hardly recognised him. What a waste of a life ☹️

I never knew Matthew Perry, but I loved Chandler Bing in Friends and I'm sad that he died.
Despite the fame and wealth Matthew was a troubled soul and I feel so sad for him.

The writers are the unsung hero's I think.

'Awareness' is great but tbh kids and drugs. Awareness is a nice concept for older people. Your post was v enlightening tho, thank you!

Yes, you're right that "awareness" is a lazy word. If kids have access to drugs, they'll use them. And they certainly had access in the culture Matthew Perry grew up in. Parents who worked all the time because of an insane work culture, plenty of money and few limitations as far as spending it. Thank you for the chat!

Or if you think he did, he still does. His acting as Chandler was complete and those episodes will be available forever.

I get people feeling sad as it's someone a lot of us grew up watching. He was young to die and his story is sad.

However I've noticed a lot of people talking as if Matthew Perry created Chandler. He acted and he did it extremely well as did the others with their characters. He made the character of Chandler come alive.

But he acted a script that was given to him. And yes he was allowed input with the writers and came up with some funny jokes that were used. He was clearly very funny. But that's not the same as writing all of the scripts and doing it as a full time job.

There's people online praising Matthew Perry for all of their favourite quotes, for things they liked about Chandlers personality etc which I find odd. Often people (not you OP) seem to forget that writers exist and think their favourite actor created the character and improvises all of their lines.

Liking Chandler doesn't mean we knew Matthew Perry at all. If anything, knowing Chandler probably means you know the writers more than Matthew.

Then there's the way that all people can talk about is how much grief the rest of the cast must be feeling. And I'm sure they are genuinely devastated. But at the end of the day they were colleagues. Colleagues who worked very closely together and probably did become friends. But the way some of them spoke it was clear they often didn't see each other for long periods of time. It's natural and there's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean they won't be devastated by the news. But surely it's nothing compared to his actual friends and family are feeling. They're the ones my thoughts are with primarily.

Earlier on I read someone on Facebook say they'd been waiting for the cast to make a statement as it made them feel less alone with their grief. I find it baffling.

I was a massive friends fan. It got me through some bad times and it always made me feel better. I've seen all the episodes so many times. I cried when it ended.

I am sad that he's gone. I really am. But I didn't know him. None of us did. His parents have lost their child. That's not the way around it should be. Their world has stopped. It's not Chandler they've lost.

I DK about his attitudes towards women. If all that's true, it's awful. I'll have a look.

A 14 y/o has NO chance at all. None. 14 y/olds are little kids. Usual know more than the rest of us etc, but they're kids.

I do agree with you there.

I didn’t know the actor as a person so can’t comment on that but I did feel sad. Just because I was fond of the series, it was funny, you felt like you knew the characters and any footage of them invokes lots of nostalgia. It’s just sad to think that one of them is no longer with us. Sometimes actors are so strongly associated with a particular part it’s perfectly fine to remember them fondly for it. Doesn’t mean we’ve lost any grip on reality, they just represent different things to different people.

Yes, it's understandable that people loved the character and associate it with their youth or with sitting around watching the show with friends and family. I do miss those days of everyone following a particular show. The last time that happened was with Game of Thrones. Not sure it'll happen again because viewers have so many different options and they have their own devices.

I agree with you. Especially the bit about them being colleagues - if someone l worked with nearly 20 years ago died, of course l would feel sad but like you say, he did actually have other friends and his family, who my thoughts are with.

This - the writers and producers made friends the actors were just that actors. It was a very very funny show and perfect for its time. I imagine as time went on they morphed slightly into their characters.

But they had money to seek help for addiction etc and that’s where I draw the line you have to want help and a solution.

I believe he was engaged back in 2020? 2021 and blew it as he was caught trying to hook up with 18 year olds - that’s just sleazy snd disrespectful to his girlfriend who ended it - so hey ho! He needs to be responsible for that.

You could have just said the guy seemed a bit of tool rather than imply that he didn’t deserve anything because he was one of those gross, horrible addict creatures. I was an addict and you literally wouldn’t think any of me. Im any nice normal person you’d sit with at a dinner party. To be honest, your post my feelings - and I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it but it’s upsetting to be talked about like a stain on society.

I do know what you mean about nepotism and having connections - but then I think well plumbers are plumbers usually because their dads are plumbers. In all jobs who you know gets you better jobs and quicker progression. It’s just that acting/film jobs are seen as desirable. The system isn’t fair across the board.

His name is Matthew. Please be respectful and use his name.

Yea, I get we all live through television characters. It's just Hollywood.

Don't get me wrong, I love films, tv drama series, Netflix etc.

What I find more disturbing is that this seems to be bigger in some people's heads than what's going on in Gaza and Israel....

One is fake, the other is reality.

There's a difference between having skills because of growing up in a family where those skills exist versus being handed one of the most exclusive opportunities in the world and then getting even more opportunity on top of that. There are so many talented people out there who never even get a chance. There are training programmes and apprenticeships for plumbers.

As for addicts, they are a huge problem for society in many different ways. I'm sorry if that's hurtful but addiction is a huge and growing problem and those of us who have to deal with it deserve compassion too. Congratulations on talking in the past tense about your addiction.

Having said that, feel so sorry he had those demons to contend with.

I will light a candle for him. He may have had a short life - relatively speaking - but he brought joy and laughter to so many people. That's a gift.

God bless him.

Thanks for the congrats and No you’re totally right. It’s fucking awful to be around. I’ve hurt people terribly because of addiction and I’ve also been on the other side of that with other peoples’ addiction problems.

I think I see it as one issue. Like how if someone is physically sick, it can be hurtful for those around them too. Or say someone has a neurological condition that makes them lash out - it really isn’t like you sit there and choose to be a dickhead. Choose to hurt people around you. It just doesn’t work that way. It’s almost an emotional sickness.

There are ways I’ve behaved (towards other people and myself) that I just could never and would never ever condone in my non addicted state. It’s a possession. To the outside it looks like choice but it really isn’t. And I think it is rarely beaten unless the person has something greater than themselves to fight for like kids or something.

yeah I guess, although acting and writing are also huge skills - it’s incredibly obvious if someone can’t act. I mean Matthew Perry was very funny. I don't disagree I just think it’s a wide spread problem across most industries where if you’re in you’re in and if you’re not you’re not. Very ‘popular clique in school’ vibes and doesn’t allow room for anybody else.

It IS Chandler we've lost though. There is no Chandler without Matthew Perry. It might be nonsensical, but he will always just be Chandler to me.

Addicts are victims too. It's a shit, messy dreadful situation. But they are victims.