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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trick or treat

28 replies

ImaMumtoaboy · 30/10/2023 22:27

Met up with a friend today and got talking about kids going trick or treating tomorrow. She told me that both her and her husband both go out with the kids for an hour or so.2 hours max. They live in a big estate. By the time they get home most kids have been and gone so they go through the bags and take out the good stuff they like and give back out whatever they don't like.
I thought that was a bit mean spirited of them. Willing to take but not give..
Myself and my dh have always taken it in turns to go with ds so there is always someone home to open the door..

OP posts:
Mumaway · 30/10/2023 22:28

I love you friend and her genius. That is now my plan for tomorrow, then I can eat the nice lollies I bought instead

Nopenopenopenopenopenope · 30/10/2023 22:30

Why is it that mean? I think that's quite smart really.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 30/10/2023 22:32

It makes sense though? If you could get rid of the stuff you don't like, why wouldn't you?

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 30/10/2023 22:35

DH and I both take our kids out trick or treating for an hour or so. Any other time, kids will get treats but no, one of us is not going to stay home specifically to give them out.

Chickychoccyegg · 30/10/2023 22:38

What?
Thats a silly attitude op, some people enjoy trick or treating, some people enjoy answering their door to dc on Halloween.
Great udea of your friends, saves treats going to waste.

Curiosity101 · 30/10/2023 22:38

We're going to leave a couple of tubs by the door so people can help themselves when we both go out with the kids.

I do think it'd be bad to go trick or treating and not leave some sort of provisions for others.

But giving away sweets you won't eat does make sense. It's only mean cause that's all they're giving.

theysaiditgetseasier · 30/10/2023 22:58

I've got sweets but there will be no one home to open the door while I take my two kids out, we stay out for an hour or so, we almost always run out of sweets by 8pm which is when I usually take the pumpkin out.

Your friend is s bit tight though 🤣

Original poster
ImaMumtoaboy · 31/10/2023 12:15

I can understand giving out the sweets that their kids have collected. I have done that myself when ds was younger and we ran out of sweets.
I think its very mean if you bring your kids out knocking on neighbours door for sweets but not willing to do the same for the neighbours kids.
I don't enjoy answering the door but I do it because my ds goes trick or treating. My mother is 75 and she still buys sweets for the neighbours kids.

OP posts:
FluffyDiplodocus · 31/10/2023 12:17

I think it’s a bit tight unless they’ve bought some themselves to contribute too. I’ve bought a load of maoams but have chucked the hard lollipops that I don’t let my kids have that we’ve had in party bags in there too.

PenguinRainbows · 31/10/2023 12:19

We like to go trick or treating as a family as we all get dressed up.

We will answer the door to trick-or-treaters before or after, but one of us certainly isn’t staying in all night just to answer the door Confused

sollenwir · 31/10/2023 12:23

I find the whole concept of going round doors asking for sweets a bit pointless, but each to their own.

Original poster
ImaMumtoaboy · 31/10/2023 15:31

So if every household went out trick or treating at peak trick or treating time(here where I am its 5.30 to 7, you get stragglers after that or teenagers) as a family there would be no point really as nobody would be home in many houses to open the door.

OP posts:
PurpleWisteria1 · 31/10/2023 15:35

sollenwir · 31/10/2023 12:23

I find the whole concept of going round doors asking for sweets a bit pointless, but each to their own.

Presumably because you are not 6 years old and don’t want free sweets?

Maxus · 31/10/2023 15:36

I'm a single mum. My kids are to old now but when they where younger I took them out meaning I couldn't hand out sweets myself. By your token I should have stayed in to hand out sweets. If a couple want to take them out together that's their call, why should someone miss out?

PurpleWisteria1 · 31/10/2023 15:37

ImaMumtoaboy · 31/10/2023 15:31

So if every household went out trick or treating at peak trick or treating time(here where I am its 5.30 to 7, you get stragglers after that or teenagers) as a family there would be no point really as nobody would be home in many houses to open the door.

But many houses arnt full of kids out trick or treating. Older people, teens who arnt out, couples with no kids or kids too young. Kids knock on those that have people in them or move on if no one answers?

Coffeerum · 31/10/2023 15:38

I thought that was a bit mean spirited of them. Willing to take but not give..
Myself and my dh have always taken it in turns to go with ds so there is always someone home to open the door..

This is honestly so weird to me. Why on earth would someone sit at home alone just for the purpose of handing out sweets? And why would they miss out on time with their own family to do so??

If you happen to be home and want to take part in trick or treating then cool, I'm not going to plan my life around it.

Original poster
ImaMumtoaboy · 31/10/2023 15:58

Maxus · 31/10/2023 15:36

I'm a single mum. My kids are to old now but when they where younger I took them out meaning I couldn't hand out sweets myself. By your token I should have stayed in to hand out sweets. If a couple want to take them out together that's their call, why should someone miss out?

No my point is both parents going around with the kids. They are willing for their kids to participate in trick or treating but not willing to spend a few quid and give back.

OP posts:
PabloandGustheGreySquirrels · 31/10/2023 16:01

I think everyone has missed the point! These people are refusing to buy sweets for other kids! They are ONLY giving out what they've been given and don't like

Hiddenvoice · 31/10/2023 16:28

If she wanted she could leave out a bucket with some sweets, that’s what people do in my estate in they are already out.

sollenwir · 31/10/2023 18:16

PurpleWisteria1 · 31/10/2023 15:35

Presumably because you are not 6 years old and don’t want free sweets?

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Nope, I never fancied it much as a child either. My mum was generous when it came to sweets though, they were already in my house so no need to go out begging.

PenguinRainbows · 31/10/2023 19:02

sollenwir · 31/10/2023 18:16

Nope, I never fancied it much as a child either. My mum was generous when it came to sweets though, they were already in my house so no need to go out begging.

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My mum was generous with sweets and chocolate too. Had a whole drawer full of them available whenever I wanted.

Still went trick or treating because it’s fun 😅 Shame your folks were too miserable to take you.

sollenwir · 31/10/2023 19:16

PenguinRainbows · 31/10/2023 19:02

My mum was generous with sweets and chocolate too. Had a whole drawer full of them available whenever I wanted.

Still went trick or treating because it’s fun 😅 Shame your folks were too miserable to take you.

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My parents were anything but miserable - my dad died when I was in my teens but my over 80 year old mum is still cheery as ever, despite her many ailments. Don't assume people's character based on one thing. Not everyone likes wandering around in the dark, knocking on people's doors, or even dressing up!

RedCoffeeCup · 31/10/2023 19:19

IMO trick or treating isn't that much fun for adults. Personally I'd prefer to stay home and give out sweets. So I think fair play to your friend and her husband if they can be arsed to spend a couple of hours trick or treating just to save a few pounds on sweets!

evtheria · 31/10/2023 19:23

I think it's cheeky, if you're expecting to take your own children and receive lots of sweets at other homes.

Around ours most houses leave the bucket/box on doorstep, like I did this evening as I was out with DS. Sometimes people also leave a note reminding to 'just take one', though I'm pretty sure a teen simply emptied our bowl into their SUPERMARKET CARRIER BAG (!!) tonight.

BitofaStramash · 31/10/2023 19:31

Are your friends skint or just tight?