AIBU to think DD's BF's mum is being VU?

[tulip92]

DD(16) and her BF(recently turned 17) went to a Halloween party on Saturday night at a friends house. Both her BF's parents were away on Saturday night so he would have been going home to an empty house. DD asked if after the party her BF could stay the night at ours, with her in her room. Me and DH discussed it and said yes, they are not going to have sex with us in the same house. After the party they walked back and he stayed the night in her room, no issues although they were both slightly drunk. I hadn't checked with his parents if this was alright, DD has spent the night there supposedly in his bed so didn't feel a need to make him sleep in the guest room.

Today I received an angry message from his mum saying that I should have separated them. I sent a message back saying I didn't think I was at fault but in future I will separate them and DD should have told me that his mum had made her sleep in the guest room. She then sent another angry message saying he won't be coming back to our house and if DD wants to see him she will have to come to his house where she can supervise. I am now very angry with myself as I know DD loves having him over and he gets on so well with my two DS as well.

AIBU or is she BU??

OP I am of the old outdated view that sex is for marriage… so per my view sharing a bed probably not the best.

But my views aside, I think in the context of things the other mum is unreasonable.

I can almost guarantee DD and her BF had sex at his then came home 🫣

I’d probably even say that to the mum..
“what are you trying to prevent, sex? They probably have done that in your empty home.”

Also, if she had such strict parenting boundaries why hasn’t she expressed them before him staying over?

They might be able to get married but legally they aren't adults until 18.

You can't in England and Wales even with parental consent until 18.