to be a little bit upset and annoyed????

[shoptilidrop]

My dh invited one of his old friends over for lunch on sat. we havent seen them for years. He asked the husband if there was anything they didnt eat and he said no.
I had a spread of lovely cheese topped and plain rolls from the bakers, some with egg mago, some with tuna and sweetcorn, some cheese and tomatoe,some ham and tomatoe and some plain cheese. There was also crisps, humous and veg. Small choc biscuit selection, homemade spounge cake. Homemade fruit juice jellies with fruit in them and also yougurts and some fruit too.
Their boys, aged 12 and 9 refused to eat any of it and i was told they dont like it,but might eat plain bread.. i only had wholemeal, so apparently that was no good. I was horriby embarassed. One of the boys did try a tuna roll, but apparently it was discusting so he could not eat it!

So what do you do in this situation???
and aibu to think they should have told me this before i spent money and time putting a lunch on for them!

This is tricky, two of my kids hate butter and margerine, they will not touch sandwiches unless the bread is naked, it is embarrassing for me asking for special sand wiches but not as embarrassing as them refusing so i always do . Unless you have picky eaters (two of mine are one not) it is difficult to understand just how difficult it can be to train them to be more versatile, it is almost like a phobia rather than bad manners and the combination of being in someone elses house and eating diff' food can just be to much for them to cope with and overwhelms their ability to remember their manners. Their parents should be making an effort to train them to eat out th0' even if it is a hard slog.

Oh and my dd1 says nearly everything I make is "too bitter" or "too fudgy" - while the rest of the family and any guests eat the lot. Def not your cooking!

They should have pulled themn up on saying 'disgusting' - I won't let dd1 say that about our food, because it is not true. If she doesn't like it it's OK for her to say so, but not be rude.

It's a real PITA having a fussy eater. Our family (me, dh & dd2) are all good, healthy eaters - loads of fruit and veg, nothing processed etc. but whatever we do dd1 seems determined to live on peanut butter sandwiches

Extremely rude. Especially when you offered so much choice!

allytjd - yes my dd hates any marg or butter too.

If often feed my dd pasta (plain of course) before we go to someone's house to make sure she is not starving if she doesn't want the food. Its ridiculous.....

Please don't feel embarassed, you put on a lovely spread, its not your fault they were so rude. At 12 and 9 they should have better manners than to call someone's food 'disgusting'. If it was my child I would have been very embarrased at their behaviour

And - all the food you mentioned would have gone down a treat with my family and most other people I know!

You were told they would eat anything, so wern't to know, and put on a lovely spread,that most children would think was a big treat, My littlest is terribly fussy, so I would always tell the host that she is a pain when it comes to food and either suggest something very plain and easy for the host to make such as jam sandwiches or offer to bring something for her so as not to put them to the trouble of navigating her many food dislikes

Anyone else salivating at the description of such a yummy spread?

I bet if you had talked to the mum you would have got a more sensible assessment of her dc's attitude to food. That said, I'm still pretty shocked at the rudeness and the fact it was tolerated (though some people see telling off their kids in front of others as "making a scene" ... now I'm just making excuses )

My DS, 2, will not eat sandwiches (yet!) I feel like that you most dinnertimes when dh scoffs the lot and walks off to do something else.
Go on strike!!

Above does not make sense, sorry. I often think 'why do i blooming well bother'. I hate wasting good food.

YANBU - but don't worry about it either. They are obviously picky and get away with it. But seriously, it is not your problem. I woudl have been so embarassed if my kids didn't eat it (very unlikely), and they probably are too. But as others have said, you did your bit, so really it was down to the parents to sort out the rudeness or eating habits.

Message withdrawn

Shoptilidrop - You are NOT crap! Those children were incredibly rude - but it seems they get it from their dad! Myself and dss (7) are picky eaters, but we would have eaten plenty at your spread - it sounded lovely!
And dss has more manners as well! No way he would have been so rude to say that something was disgusting.

agree with kewcumber etc
THEY should be embarassed
That is not the way to behave in someones house

YANBU

I don't like brown/wholemeal bread but i would eat it if that was all there was. DD1 eats any type of bread even that one with added birdseed (mum has it) .

I would say that if they didn't even eat the crisps and cakes then they must have eaten before they came.

Their parent panda to them, they are not fussy fust rude.

When i was at school a freind was one of 3 children and her mum always cooked 5 different meals at dinnertime .

When dss first started staying over night at my and DH's house, I'd have to cook separate things or him eventually I put my foot down and told Dh that dss would have to eat whatever we were eating.
He now compliments me on my cooking - he even said I cook better than his mum lol

YANBU, BIL, SIL & 2 kids came over end of last summer and the kids only eat crap and whinged and moaned the whole time, eneded up having to get them a KFC. THen in the morning they didn't eat toast or cereal, I had to go out and get Sugar Puffs and juice as they moaned they didn't drink water or milk. THe mum was huffing and puffing the whole time, never ever again.

The parents should be ashamed that their kids would be so rude and picky.

Your lunch sounded lovely. My kids would have eaten all of it!

You did your best, just don't go to all that trouble again for them.

Can you invite me over for lunch. I promise I won't leave any of it.

Personally I would only have eaten the plain cheese rolls, I don't do tomoato, or sweetcorn that's not in a meal, but I would've told you and I'd have definitely eaten the crisps and cake
My DC's would've eaten the lot.

I have had this though, had a child over for a playdate and we made pizza, she didn't say once (she was 6) that she didn't eat pizza, until we'd cooked it and I dished it up. She then turned her nose up when I said they could have a choc cake and gave them a mini roll, apparently it wasn't choc cake, didn't I have any proper choc cake

She also told me I shoudl keep DS away from her and DD as he was annoying at which point I got a bit fed up and said No, I wouldn't if they stayed in DD's bedroom he wouldn't come in but she was not kicking him out of his own living room.

Another time I felt really embarrassed whe I ahd a child come round with his mum who said he was hungry, but he would only eat ready salted crisps, so I got him some, we had tesco ones at the time, and he refused to eat them as he only ate walkers apparently.
Well, he went hungry.

I get this all the time with ILs children, whatever I do they won't eat. I just ignore it now but it does piss me off to be honest.

Children of 9 and 12 can lump it for one meal ffs - its just plain bad manners to be like that, there is no excuse whatsoever and you shouldn't feel bad at all.

at Victoriansqualor's friend who demanded crisps for her son at her house! She (and the child) would have been unlucky at my house.

Please don't worry about this any more. You certainly shouldn't be embarrassed as you put on a varied spread and weren't forewarned that it would all - apparently - be "offensive".

You can't force someone to eat something they don't like but hells bells - missing out on one lunch won't kill the little "darlings" will it ?!

Them being rude is a separate issue entirely to you providing the food. They should have been pulled up sharpish on that.