To go to a group every day?

[Summermeadowflowers]

I have a 3 month old baby and a nearly 3 year old.

The toddler attends nursery for three days a week. On those days I do classes with my baby like swimming, baby sensory and so on.

On the two days I have them both we do mixed age style classes, although I think my eldest is growing out of them a little bit so will probably explore alternatives after Christmas. He also does swimming on a Saturday morning.

Quite a few people seem surprised we do so much but there seems a lot on where we are, and it’s nice! So not so much an ‘AIBU’ - more of ‘am I being unusual/odd?’

If you enjoy them and can afford it then it's fine, just don't feel pressured, that you should do all these things as anecdotally they don't really make a difference to your baby, but they are good for mums struggling being at home

I don’t think they necessarily make a difference to her long term development, but she does enjoy them and they make her tired which is a bonus!

Church hall type stay and plays can be good with older children but she’s only three months and isn’t massively interacting with toys yet. She likes lights, bubbles, other babies and music mostly

DS does football and swimming as well as the toddler groups, although I’m conscious that he won’t be interested in the groups for much longer. Hopefully that will be after Christmas then not much longer until the better weather.

I know they aren’t for everyone but I was surprised people were surprised!

Well, I don't know who you were discussing it with, but not that many people could afford to pay for structured groups and classes 6 days a week, so that might be one reason people were surprised.

But, of course YANBU to do whatever works for you.

I don't think it's unusual at all, I do similar with my 3 year old and 18 month old. We're lucky that we have lots of things to do where we live and many are cheap.

I went to 2 playgroups/classes a day every weekday for the first 4 years of both my children's lives. I was a SAHM and would've gone mad otherwise. Went to one in the morning, home for lunch and nap and then back out in the afternoon.

I had 3 under 4.
I did a group or soft play everyday after school drop off usually fed them out and then they were knackered and all went down for a nap.
Do whatever works for you.

I had to get out and do something/see someone every day, or else go completely bonkers. I did two or three classes/groups, but then had a group of mums I’d meet for coffee (who I knew through one of the groups!) and a friend who I’d meet for lunch every Friday. Had there been more groups within walking range, I would have done more.

Nope I did this, I loved the structure it gave us

Totally agree. The only people who trot out that crap about bad clothes have never lived high up in the the Pennines where the rain comes at you sideways and the wind can knock you off course.

I have identical aged kids with the eldest doing the same amount of time in pre school and we are also out at least once, if not twice a day. Both my kids are more fussy in the house and it makes the time go quicker for me when I can chat to people and have a hot drink!

Just realised it’s you @Summermeadowflowers 😂 hope you are doing well! Youngest has got so fussy recently, I can only assume/hope it’s a developmental thing! Was going to moan on our July group in fact 😂

Going against the grain here, but I think it's important not to teach kids there's always fun activities to do - kids need the opportunity to be both bored and find their own fun and entertainment, instead of always being in structured classes - it sounds like they're constantly being around professional entertainers and I don't think that's healthy. I have two the same ages as you and whilst we always get out of the house every day, sometimes it's just for a puddle stomp, or to the local playground, where they can play independently and unstructured

<wave> @VivaVivaa ! We go in and out of fussy stages. Seems to be quite a good place at the moment but the four month regression will be upon us soon 😱

@sexnotgenders - yes and no. I mean, the groups are only about an hour and a half of the day if you account for travel time. That allows for plenty of unstructured time and DS is pretty good with independent play. But if we did that all day, he’d get bored and restless and that’s when he goes rogue with a crayon or starts emptying the contents of the toy box all over the floor.

And it isn’t either / or: there are playground visits and trips to farms, libraries, feeding ducks, and so on.

I am the same as you OP, I have gone to groups and classes every weekday with both my dc. I had a bigger gap so my eldest started reception shortly after dc2 was born, so I have done them 5 days a week with both (and 2 or 3 on some days once they were older). I am in North London and there are a ton of really good quality, fun activities to do and we have the budget for it. It's an affluent area and I think a lot of families here do daily classes and they can easily afford it.

Although we also add in some free stay and play at Children's Centres (there are about 8 in my borough) which have a less affluent demographic, and I overhear parents talking about going to free/cheap activities, libraries, museums or nice parks every day too. I think it's just that there is a lot on offer, it's easy to walk or take public transport to different places, and most parents find it easier to have different activities and kids to entertain their dc than to organise things at home. The Children's Centres provide free snacks too.

I don't see why it's necessary for dc to be bored and find their own fun and entertainment really. There is enough free and cheap entertainment on in areas like mine for it to always be available (and there is stuff for older kids, teens and adults too).

I like to get out and do something and meet people most days with my toddler but we only go to a couple of structured groups/activities...a church playgroup on Tuesday mornings, storytime at the library on Thursdays and my husband takes him to soccer lessons on Saturdays.

Other days we're mostly we're just meeting friends with similar aged kids at the park, zoo, soft play or their houses or whatever.

No, classes are a lifeline for some people and I know a few who did one to two a day. I also know people to whom it would never have occurred to even try them.

I did loads with my youngest, I went from being a teacher in a classroom interacting with people for most of the day to being at home with a small person who couldn’t talk! I went to a group or met up friends I met at groups most of the days my husband was at work. I had the odd day at home but mostly we were out. We went to groups at the local children’s centre or similar which were only £1 or £2 so weren’t expensive or we went for a walk with the kids in the pram/carrier then coffee and someone’s house. My youngest was born May 2021 so wasn’t a proper covid baby (as we could meet family/friends) but groups still weren’t running when she was very small and I had a short maternity leave so we didn’t do as much but did go to local zoo we have annual passes for and things like that.

Everyone has their different ways/social level of need so do what works for you. People were surprised I was out and about the day after the birth (we only went out to the local harvester for lunch and popped into Tesco to get a couple of bits of clothes as we needed some smaller ones for DS) but I was ok and just needed to get out for a bit.

If you like it, do it. It's not hurting anyone.

My idea of hell tho 😅

I'm in the lake district... and there is only such a thing as bad kit! Unless it's a red warning level wind

I did a few with my eldest (Gymboree and swimming and a local hall one) as I didn’t know about others. When I had DC2, I had found out about many more and we went to one every day. It helped to keep us all sane.

I’m the exact same! I tire myself out with it sometimes especially when I do the classes an hours walk away but I really enjoy them and DS gets so much out of them, I’ve also made an amazing group of friends from it and the be completely honest it was an absolute blessing when I found the groups at my loneliest with postnatal depression!!

We tried to do something every day, swimming, gymnastics, music, playgroups, baby massage etc. As soon as I was back working when dd2 was 3, all these groups changed and they were going to things at the weekend.

It's your maternity leave spend is how you wish
where I live you could easily walk to something everyday that was either free or buttons
baby music then the midwives did a weigh and stay session
breastfeeding support group
sensory class
baby massage
stay and play at church hall
swimming classes even were crazy exorbitant
do what works for you I more preferred a trip to the park to a class but still enjoyed some classes too

It’s fine! Took my daughter to loads. It kept me sane. We only stopped recently when she started reception.

YANBU!

When ds was small we went out every day if he wasn’t sick or I wasn’t sick! I don’t see how this is any different.