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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to a group every day?

77 replies

Summermeadowflowers · 30/10/2023 09:19

I have a 3 month old baby and a nearly 3 year old.

The toddler attends nursery for three days a week. On those days I do classes with my baby like swimming, baby sensory and so on.

On the two days I have them both we do mixed age style classes, although I think my eldest is growing out of them a little bit so will probably explore alternatives after Christmas. He also does swimming on a Saturday morning.

Quite a few people seem surprised we do so much but there seems a lot on where we are, and it’s nice! So not so much an ‘AIBU’ - more of ‘am I being unusual/odd?’

OP posts:
Mariposista · 30/10/2023 09:47

If you have the energy and you're all enjoying it - crack on. You'll be back at work before you know it and won't have the time!

Passthecake30 · 30/10/2023 09:47

When mine were young I lived somewhere with amazing surestart facilities, I think I would’ve lived there if I could! Having a routine of getting out of the house, and seeing other people saved my sanity.

AmazingSnakeHead · 30/10/2023 10:35

This isn't unusual around here. I did something four days and had three unstructured, but whatever works for you is absolutely fine.

Sjh15 · 30/10/2023 15:54

I think if I could afford to then I would do something like that everyday, so crack on!
ill pay for something once/twice a week and we get swimming for free as I work there then the other days will be park or round a friends house. I get cabin fever quite bad! And my DS behaviour is so much better once he’s burnt some energy

Kwasi · 30/10/2023 15:58

I didn’t like groups, so didn’t go to many at all. Probably did the library 4 times and a church group half a dozen times. Tried sign and sign but hates it. Tried heartbeeps and hated it. We just did our own thing instead.

Lindy2 · 30/10/2023 16:04

I tried to get out every morning. We either went to groups or the playground. Sometimes just a walk.

Staying in all day made the day really drag. It sounds like you have a nice routine going that works well for you. What other people think doesn't matter.

angielizzy1 · 30/10/2023 16:05

I always didn't something every day of I could when mine were young, even if it was just rhyme time at the library for free. We went to all the local toddler groups. If we didn't have anything on we would still go out for a walk. I liked to get out of the house every day. I also worked as a childminder and took the children I looked after it every day. I found covid very difficult with no groups on and no where to go but we went for a walk or to the park (when they were open) every morning

NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 30/10/2023 16:17

Only got one baby, but I did something every day during my maternity leave. Be coffee and play date with my antenatal group, free classes, paid classes like baby sensory or swimming.

I struggled being in the house all day, every day and felt good going to things and chatting to other mums. Some hate it, but that’s just personal preference.

You do you and only change if it’s not working for you (my motto on all parenting things).

Lovelyweatheragain · 30/10/2023 16:20

My question would be the other way round - if you didn’t do a group most days, how did you fill your day with a toddler? I’m guessing parks, day trips to farms etc? Or do people just stay at home all day? I definitely couldn’t have done the latter with mine. They’d have been climbing the walls

Jessforless · 30/10/2023 16:21

I loved doing something everyday when mine were small, not always a class with a coat, sometimes free like rhyme time or a baby group in a church.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 30/10/2023 16:24

Mine are teens now, but I did something every morning before lunch and naps.

So we went to church playgroups (not religious), storytime at the library, park with friends etc.

My mum did the same.

As far as I was concerned all children should be exhausted by lunchtime so that everyone including me could have a sleep after lunch!

BitofaStramash · 30/10/2023 16:27

With my first I tried to go to a group or do an activity like swimming each day.

I needed the routine and interactions with other adults.

NotLactoseFree · 30/10/2023 16:27

I needed to get out of the house every day and have some kind of interaction. So we did loads of groups and activities, OR we'd meet friends for coffee/play time/park etc. I did not ever spend the whole day at home with the DC.

Top tip for when the slightly older one is less keen on those groups - sign him up for local sports activities like football or rugby or mixed sports classes. I'd take DD along to DS' group and she'd quite happily sit on the side playing with a few toys or other babies who were there with their older siblings.

TiredMummma · 30/10/2023 16:31

Think it's fairly normal to go out everyday as makes the day go much quicker. We have memberships to stuff which makes it more affordable.

In terms of swimming though I tried that on a Saturday and then realised I would have a lifetime of clubs, so decided to enjoy our Saturday mornings whilst we can 😂

Finchgold · 30/10/2023 16:31

I found baby classes mind numbingly boring. The only one we stuck with was free library bookbug group then we went to museums, art galleries, playparks, trampoline park and soft play. Absolutely couldn’t stay in the house all day.

muckandmerriment · 30/10/2023 16:44

Outdoor play is fine in winter just get good outdoor clothes and shoes/boots. As my friend who grew up somewhere with very cold & snowy winters said when our first DCs were little, there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes.

Original poster
Summermeadowflowers · 30/10/2023 16:46

Oh, there is definitely such a thing as bad weather!

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 30/10/2023 17:04

The only way I'd enjoy going outside in the tipping rain is an old fashioned divers suit

Kwasi · 30/10/2023 17:07

Lovelyweatheragain · 30/10/2023 16:20

My question would be the other way round - if you didn’t do a group most days, how did you fill your day with a toddler? I’m guessing parks, day trips to farms etc? Or do people just stay at home all day? I definitely couldn’t have done the latter with mine. They’d have been climbing the walls

With my toddler, we went to play parks, nature parks, Starbucks, zoos, farms, etc, but we also did lots of play at home. No point in having toys if they’re never at home to play with them.

Abbyant · 30/10/2023 17:15

I guess it just depends on if you’re an introvert or extrovert, being out everyday sounds like a nightmare to me, but if you and the dc enjoy it and find it enriching then you do you.

Chazzasaurus · 30/10/2023 17:17

I have a 3 month old and we do something 4 days a week. I would go stir crazy if I didn't get out. All of the things I do are free. We are also going to do a free 4 week swimming taster session which we found out about from another mum at a group. Not everything costs money and it saves your sanity at times!

HaplessRhombus · 30/10/2023 17:21

When mine was a baby, we went to classes every day just because he was a purple crier who would not settle at home. It kept my sanity. Now he's a toddler and at home three days, we still do a class and a playgroup on two of the days.

lanthanum · 30/10/2023 17:24

We got out every day. There was sometimes one day in the week when we didn't have a group, but we'd still go for a day out or shopping or to the library. It's good for you, never mind the kids!

Umph · 30/10/2023 17:25

YANBU. Getting out of the house and speaking to other adults (even if it is about tedious baby/toddler stuff) was a lifeline for me. The best kind of groups were the cheap/free children’s centre or church hall type ones where you got tea and coffee, maybe a snack for DCs and there was just loads of toys scattered about. I found a 30-60 minute class for £7-10 a go was a bit of a shit deal in comparison!

cheapskatemum · 30/10/2023 17:25

YANBU I searched out things to do each day of the week when mine were toddlers, so they didn't make too much mess at home. I met some of my best friends that way as they were doing the same!