To want to give it all up at this point in life?

[j1j]

I’m 35, single, son who is 2 (dad never sees him). I currently earn 4K a month. It’s hard work. I used to enjoy working but it all feels too much since having ds. I don’t have much equity or savings, I could probably get together 280k cash for a new house without a mortgage. I’d almost certainly in bed in a two bed/terrace round here for that value, at the moment I’m in a big house and repayments are 950 a month. Whenever I go to do a shop it’s extortionate… I can’t afford butter or general condiments. Just sick of it all. Would it be silly to give up my job, take a much lower paid one part time and struggle the same as I am now but without a mortgage? So sort of swapping working for paying a bit mortgage and accepting I still won’t have much but at least I’m not chained to a stressful job day in day out? I feel like the future is just bleak. I used to really care about having a big home and paying into pension etc but actually I’m likely to receive enough inheritance (yes I know not guaranteed) to see me through and I just have no real desire to work so hard for effectively nothing. Has anyone made a similar decision? Is it short sighted? Feel a bit in a hole.

Not in exactly the same situation but when I sold my cottage 5 years ago I could’ve got a small house (mortgage free) or a bigger house with a mortgage. I knew I wanted to spend more time with my dd while she was young & just didn’t want to be working so much so I went for the small house. I now work PT & my wages are for bills, spending & a bit for saving. I definitely made the best decision.

2k left is a lot of money, but I get what you’re saying in that the stress of the job for the salary you’re on isn’t worth it anymore. I get 3.5k per month and living down south i’m not living the high live that’s for sure. Thankfully no childcare but I’m renting and if I buy it’s a 2bed flat and sometimes I feel so stressed at the end of the day and wonder if it’s all worth it. You’ve got to consider the next 10yrs or so when your child needs a lot more of you, can you do that and have a stressful job? I’d take the smaller house and less stress. You can always put more into your career when your child is older

If this is real thread, then as has being said before, childcare becomes less expensive after children are three years old.

i think you really need to look at your outgoings, and get rid of non essentials like tv packages, etc

As another poster has said £2,000 a month is around £30,000 per annum which is roughly the average wage.

If you can get a two bedroom property with a garden and parking in your area mortgage free then do it.

Perhaps go cold turkey for a month and you will realise where your money is disappearing too

I'm a bit sceptical that deliberately making yourself a lot poorer and more dependent on impersonal forces that don't give a shit about you is the source of happiness that so many people on here seem to think.

Your job is obviously stressing you out a lot, but if you're finding it hard paying for food now, how exactly are things going to be better after you significantly drop your income? Do you really want to be exposed to constantly rising rents, getting kicked out by your landlord, regular expensive moves? It doesn't seem to me that renting brings financial benefits and lack of stress to most people. Especially when the much more intuitive, and probably more financially beneficial, course of action would be to downsize your property and see if you can change jobs or working conditions so that you're less stressed without being dramatically less well paid.

How do you spend the 2k after mortgage and childcare?

Less than £300 a month on food, surely, what else? Bills must be less than £600?

So you have just under 2k disposable income every month after bills and childcare and somehow can't afford butter??? Where do you live El Dorado?

I have not meant to be insensitive at all, sorry if I have come across like that. I have debt and that takes another chunk out of what’s left as well as far finance. I cancelled all my subscriptions last week but feels insignificant in the face of so much to pay for.

Debts are costing me near 600 a month I am so stressed about everything

I defo wouldn’t just Chuck it all in, downsizing could work though, but only if significant as cost of moving is dreadful. When I was single with 2 kids my mortgage was 650 but I earned about 3500. I had plenty.

what are you other outgoings? Do you have debt? Are you paying for childcare?

Just seen your updates. 2k after everything is loads even with the debt and a car! You’re fine. Stop being dramatic! At worst you have like 250 per week? You can afford butter. The question is, do you want to? Or do you want to afford nights out or designer clothes?

Your thread doesn't make a lot of sense OP. How can you struggle to buy butter on £4K a month .

I think you need a 5 year plan. Tackle one thing at a time. Downsize, clear your debts and then restructure your working life. If you have a light at the end of the tunnel you will be able to cope with the stress of work better.

Definitely move first then change jobs.

I feel so totally alone and want to start again. Feel like I can only do that if I clear the debt.

You earn 4k a month and can't afford butter. Come on...

Read back over your post and imagine I'd written it, what would you tell me?

@ssd you obviously haven’t read all my posts!

I have read them, i see you have debts like most people but you have money left after its paid yet you are saying you can't afford butter and condiments so I'm saying if someone else had wrote your posts what would you say to them?

Sometimes seeing your situation back to front helps

I'm trying to get you to see things from a different angle and a solution might appear to you

Hello I'm a little confused. What is stopping your paying your debts off? Is it because all your money is tied up in your current property?
If so I'd downsize, pay off all your debts and then the £2k you have left will feel like a fortune and you could either reduce hours or pay for some help.

Hey. Sounds like you need a break and some space to figure out how to restructure your life. To get the crux of it.. you will regret not having a decent income as this gives you options and allows you to build for the future. I would consider the following.. managing too much change in one go would be overwhelming. Therefore start with the main issue, which is the big house and find somewhere smaller and then move. Do that and let it settle and see where that leaves your finances before tackling the job situation. Good luck and I reckon it’ll work out!

Downsize but keep your job the same, as the buck stops with you when it comes to your son and you won’t be able to give him a decent quality of life without it. Yes it’s unfair that you need to think of his future over your confort right now but that’s life.

Surely stay in your current job, get the smaller mortgage free house and wait for the childcare costs to drop (which they will). As a PP said, get a cleaner and build up a nest egg with the excess, with the added bonus of not worrying about little purchases.

I’m sorry I don’t understand this at all. I would be sympathetic OP but I have never, ever had 2k left over after mortgage etc & I’m not living on the breadline. I don’t understand how you can’t afford essentials?

You earn £4k a month and can't afford butter?

I don't believe you!

But I personally would not give up a job that pays £4k a month to piss about in a PT low paid job.

Your car loan and debt repayments must be very high if two grand isn't enough to manage. Two of us live on 1800 a month and I save money. Can you do something to reduce these payments?