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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DC out of school for two weeks for a holiday?

253 replies

CroccyWoccy · 28/10/2023 22:44

Thinking about taking the family on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday next year, but having looked into it, we would have to take the DC out of school for a fortnight to make it work.

They have good attendance record - I have never taken them out for any reason before and they are rarely sick.

I was hoping we could do the holiday only taking them out for 5 days, but it isn’t feasible, to make it work they would need to miss two weeks (though one day is an inset day, so 9 days in total).

Is this too long? Either in terms of lost education or the amount of trouble we’d be in? DC will be Y6 and Y3, holiday would be tacked onto October half term.

OP posts:
Moglet4 · 29/10/2023 17:55

CroccyWoccy · 29/10/2023 06:29

To answer some questions:

-yes they could do the trip at any time in their lifetime, but on the basis that I wouldn’t take them out of school in secondary, it’s the only opportunity we’d have to do this trip as a family

-there’s no compelling reason (family connection etc) for the trip, but it’s an amazing place to experience. Definitely not Disney or AI.

-this part of the world has extremes of hot and cold which mean there’s only a short season that’s suitable for travel. We need 3 weeks for the trip and i thought we could do it with our 2 week half term + 1 week of missed school, but part of the route shuts in mid October for the winter so I’d have to bring all the dates forward a week to be viable.

I’m really intrigued as to where this is now. South America?

justasoul · 29/10/2023 18:00

Not South America, it’s spring - summer there now.

JustInterested2 · 29/10/2023 18:01

I was nine and a half when my family had an unusual, once in a lifetime six week trip. It was due to my father's work commitment not just a holiday. I remember a general sense of it being wonderful and a few specific fragments, but really wish I had been older and fully able to appreciate it.

PinkRoses1245 · 29/10/2023 18:03

Definitely do it, better now that in secondary. Just take some work or make sure you catch up.

Gellhell · 29/10/2023 18:03

I would. You remember holidays for a lifetime.
They won't remember those. 2 weeks in school.

gamerchick · 29/10/2023 18:05

Just factor in the fine. That's what most parents do. Still cheaper.

JustInterested2 · 29/10/2023 18:09

Gellhell · 29/10/2023 18:03

I would. You remember holidays for a lifetime.
They won't remember those. 2 weeks in school.

Not if you are only six you don’t.

43ontherocksporfavor · 29/10/2023 18:11

At that time of year they will miss a lot . I wouldn’t but plenty would.

Mademetoxic · 29/10/2023 18:12

Crazycrazylady · 29/10/2023 10:51

Honestly two weeks is nothing in the scheme of things . Absolutely I would cover off the bits of curriculum that they missed yourself with them when you are back.

I definitely wouldn't be avoiding if for reasons like the 'school play'

Some kids get bad bugs like chicken pox and are out for two weeks and no one panics about the gaps in learning on that.

I'd absolutely do it!

Because chicken pox is unavoidable. Term time holidays are a choice.

Imagine if said child went away for 2 weeks, then caught chicken pox and off school for a further 2 weeks?

That's a full month off!

Plus any other illnesses the child could pick up during the terms....

MumDadBingoBlueyy · 29/10/2023 18:14

Do whatever you please, but please, please, do not ask the teacher to set work. I’ve received an email off a parent asking for work for their child when they’ve been off on a US/Canada trip instead of being in school the past couple of weeks. I haven’t set work, and will not be. 🤷🏻‍♀️

missnevermind · 29/10/2023 18:15

Do it now before secondary school. Factor the cost of fines onto the holiday price. Sats are not important.
I informed the children's school that they would be absent for 2 weeks and explained it as family time without giving any details. I had a letter back saying they could not approve the absence and to enjoy our trip.
You could ask the teacher which topics they might miss so you could work on them together, but not ask for set work. Or ask them to suggest a related project connected to the area (as in write me a page about the local history or geography) , obviously not expecting it to be marked.

Mademetoxic · 29/10/2023 18:17

Gellhell · 29/10/2023 18:03

I would. You remember holidays for a lifetime.
They won't remember those. 2 weeks in school.

They won't remember the holiday either at 6. 🤷

43ontherocksporfavor · 29/10/2023 18:23

After sats would be best.

Parker231 · 29/10/2023 18:25

Iamnotthe1 · 29/10/2023 14:58

@Parker231
SATS results don’t dictate a school outcome

Dictate, no. But they do affect a child's experience as they progress through secondary, more so than parents or even normal class-based teachers realise. It's one of the reasons why, for example, ill pupils who miss their exams are isolated from their peers and sit them on their return (as long as it's within the two week window).

I know of two families who didn’t agree with SATS and kept their DC’s off school for the two weeks. Hasn’t affected their progress in senior school as the schools test everyone again anyway. As a school governor (different senior school) I would agree with their approach.

letstrythatagain · 29/10/2023 18:29

I took my daughter out for holidays most years up until she hit secondary school. Definitely worth it. She had some amazing experiences.

We took her over to Florida and to the Kennedy Space Station one year. Her teacher was actually brilliant about it and asked her to keep a daily diary so she could tell the class all about it when she returned.

Lots wouldn't do it and I totally respect that but it worked for us 😃.

Moglet4 · 29/10/2023 18:31

justasoul · 29/10/2023 18:00

Not South America, it’s spring - summer there now.

Depends where. It’s the start of the wet season in Peru. Best times to visit are June and September and as OP mentioned mountains, the Inca or Salkantay trails sprang to mind. I hope OP answers!

Original poster
CroccyWoccy · 29/10/2023 18:33

43ontherocksporfavor · 29/10/2023 18:23

After sats would be best.

Would you say them both missing 2 weeks in June post-SATs would be better than 1 week on October pre-SATS?

OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 29/10/2023 18:35

If I understand your dates properly:

  1. You could go summer term Y2/Y5, taking 2 weeks out of school plus half term.
  2. You could go Autumn term Y3/Y6, taking 2 weeks plus a 2 week half term, so a month off school altogether.
  3. You could go at the same time but only take 1 week in addition to half term.
  4. You could go summer term Y3/Y6, taking 2 weeks plus half term.

The latter would be bad for the school - Writing is submitted much later than the SATs tests (end June this year) so they may well have limited evidence of your child’s best writing as you will be away for much of that final push.

1 or 3 would be best. 3 is good for shorter time off school, 1 is good in terms of overall timing in their educational journey (be prepared for your Y5 child’s end of year results to take a hit and for some need to work particularly hard at the start of Year 6.

cantkeepawayforever · 29/10/2023 18:36

CroccyWoccy · 29/10/2023 18:33

Would you say them both missing 2 weeks in June post-SATs would be better than 1 week on October pre-SATS?

Show quote history

Although SATs tests are done, writing not submitted until the end of June. So ‘SATs’ actually last until end of June.

Sherrystrull · 29/10/2023 18:39

neverbeenskiing · 29/10/2023 08:55

It's really quite depressing how many posters think 2 weeks missed learning is "nothing" because "it's just primary". No wonder schools are struggling to recruit and retain staff when the general consensus seems to be that nothing they do matters.

To those saying its fine "as long as you don't expect the Teachers to catch them up", how do you think that works in reality? Even if parents aren't entitled enough to expressly request that the Teacher give up their time, that child will still need to be caught up. Learning, especially in Maths and English, is a series of building blocks. So when a child comes back from a term time holiday the rest of their class will be building on skills, concepts and vocabulary that have been taught while they were away. This means they won't be able to do the work that the rest of their class are doing. As a Teacher, you can't just ignore that or they will fall further behind. So the Teacher either re-teaches that content to the holiday child while the lesson is going on (ignoring 29 other children), or they do it outside of the lesson.

Absolutely this.

Mademetoxic · 29/10/2023 18:41

CroccyWoccy · 29/10/2023 18:33

Would you say them both missing 2 weeks in June post-SATs would be better than 1 week on October pre-SATS?

Show quote history

The year 3 child is 7/8? A 'once in a lifetime' trip would be better when they can fully appreciate it and remember it.

Wait till they're older.

cantkeepawayforever · 29/10/2023 18:42

(We did our ‘once in a lifetime’ trip post GCSE/A-levels - and in school holidays as I an a teacher. They absolutely will remember it forever.)

Sherrystrull · 29/10/2023 18:44

I once had a child go on a two week holiday after the Easter holidays and then was poorly for two weeks. When they eventually returned they had regressed so much with learning. Their friends had moved on and they spent much of the rest of the year trying to play catch up when they weren't behind before.

Mademetoxic · 29/10/2023 18:45

Sherrystrull · 29/10/2023 18:44

I once had a child go on a two week holiday after the Easter holidays and then was poorly for two weeks. When they eventually returned they had regressed so much with learning. Their friends had moved on and they spent much of the rest of the year trying to play catch up when they weren't behind before.

Exactly what I said a few posts below.

People go 'oh it's only for 1/2 weeks' but if said child then becomes poorly and is absent for another 2 weeks, that's a month off school.

SwottyDaisy · 29/10/2023 18:48

We took kids out for the last half term of year 3 and 5 and the impact was negligible - DH was working abroad for a short time. But it was the summer half term - I wouldn’t do it in the autumn as they will fall behind.