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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband accidentally killed neighbours tree

110 replies

Randomname83738 · 28/10/2023 16:33

my husband was removing some overgrowth on our boundary wall and part of the wall collapsed, killing our neighbours very old quince tree. We get on with these neighbours really well and feel terrible (they’re understandably quite upset).

I want to get them some sort of apology gift but unsure what would be appropriate. The standard would be some sort of hamper but would like to make it more specific to the tree and would appreciate ideas, as we really don’t want to be TAHs for these neighbours…

OP posts:

TentChristmas · 28/10/2023 18:02

Randomname83738 · 28/10/2023 17:59

@TentChristmas @FadedRed I like these ideas, unfortunately it’s a very slim trunked tree (thinner than an arm!) so unsure there would be enough wood… something to look into/offer though, thank you

I have to admit I don’t know the size of the tree, but maybe some discs or chopsticks, or a wand if they like Harry Potter for their grandkids! But whatever you do you sound like kind considerate neighbours offering to make it right and however sad they are about the tree, they will recognise your efforts.

SarahAndQuack · 28/10/2023 18:05

khlomoney · 28/10/2023 16:41

https://8billiontrees.com/trees/tree-broke-in-half-can-it-be-saved/

I don't mean to be rude, but that site is really not very good.

SarahAndQuack · 28/10/2023 18:08

Orbitolld · 28/10/2023 17:23

I wonder whether it's possible to take some cuttings from the tree to graft? Don't know whether Quinces do that but it's one way of continuing the life of the tree if they do..

Quinces certainly do graft, but it's not a great time of year for it. I love the idea though - OP, could you see if a local specialist nursery could do this?

SarahAndQuack · 28/10/2023 18:10

Hollyhead · 28/10/2023 17:37

I find it really distasteful that a number of posters seem almost titillated by the fact that this might be an expensive mistake. It was clearly an accident, and clearly the OP and her DP are mortified and want to put it right.

The £30 quince trees online are up to 1.5m so hardly a 'sapling' anyway. I'm not saying one of these would necessarily be appropriate, but people saying it will be hundreds of pounds are just being bitchy. Ignore OP.

They're not being bitchy - a 1.5m quince sapling is still fairly young. IMO it's much better to plant a younger tree anyway, but a mature quince will cost a lot more than £30.

In any case, it's not what the neighbours want, and that's understandable, since the tree had sentimental value for them.

itsgettingweird · 28/10/2023 18:16

Just a thought. But if the fee was damaged as the wall collapsed then was it leaning on your wall? Did that actually sort way damage the wall?

Not that I don't think you should compensate if Dh contributed but more that you need to think about where a new tree is planted or moving the current one or this problem will just reoccur.

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/10/2023 18:27

Orbitolld · 28/10/2023 17:23

I wonder whether it's possible to take some cuttings from the tree to graft? Don't know whether Quinces do that but it's one way of continuing the life of the tree if they do..

Yes, quince are usually grafted. In the normal course of things it would be simpler just to buy another tree, but since this is of sentimental value, then paying someone to graft it on to a suitable rootstock might be an acceptable idea. Brogdale offer a grafting service - they may be able to help.

Grow Grafting Service - Brogdale Online

Grow Grafting Service Grow Grafting Service – A specialist service by Grow at Brogdale. Please read the full description below. Note: The rootstock is the size of the tree I.e, MM106, which can be selected from our chart. If you are unsure as to the b...

https://brogdaleonline.co.uk/shop/grow-grafting-service

MereDintofPandiculation · 28/10/2023 18:29

SarahAndQuack · 28/10/2023 18:10

They're not being bitchy - a 1.5m quince sapling is still fairly young. IMO it's much better to plant a younger tree anyway, but a mature quince will cost a lot more than £30.

In any case, it's not what the neighbours want, and that's understandable, since the tree had sentimental value for them.

Show quote history

1.5m is tiny in tree terms. The trunk will be no thicker than your little finger, and there will be nothing you would recognise as branches, at best a few short twigs.

Orbitolld · 28/10/2023 18:39

Apparently fruit should be ripe now - if there’s any still around then another option might be to grow new trees from seed. It’s really easy and the most satisfying thing in the universe. They’ll all be different to the parent tree I think but it’ll be lovely anyway.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 28/10/2023 18:40

he was clearing ivy and other invasive creepers that were going up over the wall - it’s an old wall and the ivy etc has been on for years (we only moved in a couple of years ago), as soon as it was pulled off, parts of the wall were crumbling

Almost sounds like a blessing in disguise then, at least it didn't collapse on anyone. If the neighbours are responsible for the wall maybe you could offer to pay a bit of the cost to repair or rebuild it. If you're responsible for it - good luck!

GreekDogRescue · 28/10/2023 19:12

This is why wildlife is in terminal decline in this country. A bit of ivy growing up an old wall is deemed offensive and must be got rid of when it was a veritable haven for wildlife. Also a bit of a gap for hedgehogs to pass through.

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