Page 4 | Husband accidentally killed neighbours tree

Randomname83738 · 2023-10-28T15:33:32+00:00

my husband was removing some overgrowth on our boundary wall and part of the wall collapsed, killing our neighbours very old quince tree. We get on with these neighbours really well and feel terrible (they’re understandably quite upset). I want to get them some sort of apology gift but unsure what would be appropriate. The standard would be some sort of hamper but would like to make it more specific to the tree and would appreciate ideas, as we really don’t want to be TAHs for these neighbours…

FarEast · 28/10/2023 17:29

You're going to need to source a new quince tree, and one which is relatively mature, if something like that can be found. It will be expensive, but you need to suck it up. I'd be very upset at someone else's careless killing such a tree: quinces are special.

MargaretThursday · 28/10/2023 17:30

HughCanoe · 28/10/2023 16:38

I read Husband accidentally killed neighbours

So did I!

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 28/10/2023 17:33

How on earth did he knock down part of a wall whilst just removing undergrowth?! What was he using, a bulldozer? Sledgehammer?

I too just saw the title in active and thought the OP's DH had killed their neighbour and thought should they be putting that on MN what with a future trial etc etc?

YellowRibbon710 · 28/10/2023 17:34

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 28/10/2023 16:50

It was an accident and you were trying to be helpful. It's unfortunate but these things happen.

Completely agree with this. No one died, no one was hurt. It's sad but you've apologised and want to do something to compensate.

Ultimately though, they need to be a bit grown up and accept that accidents happen and they should be resilient.

Hollyhead · 28/10/2023 17:37

I find it really distasteful that a number of posters seem almost titillated by the fact that this might be an expensive mistake. It was clearly an accident, and clearly the OP and her DP are mortified and want to put it right.

The £30 quince trees online are up to 1.5m so hardly a 'sapling' anyway. I'm not saying one of these would necessarily be appropriate, but people saying it will be hundreds of pounds are just being bitchy. Ignore OP.

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/10/2023 17:40

The standard would be some sort of hamper but would like to make it more specific to the tree and would appreciate ideas,

A nice Fortnum and Mason hamper with jam in and a loaf of bread.

Wouldyouguess · 28/10/2023 17:41

adriftinadenofvipers · 28/10/2023 17:23

It has to be said, I was just a tiny bit disappointed....

(I am going to hell in a handcart...!!)

Show quote history

Imagine if it was "AIBU that they refused a bottle of wine I offered to apologise?"

HirplesWithHaggis · 28/10/2023 17:42

FloweryName · 28/10/2023 17:26

If the tree ends up being proper dead never to return could you get a piece of furniture or ornament of some kind made out of the wood when it is removed?

I have no idea if quince tree wood is good for anything but if the tree has sentimental value then it would be good to find a way to make it last somehow.

I like this idea.

OopsaDazy · 28/10/2023 17:42

Do you know @Randomname83738 that in trending, all we can see is this -
Husband accidentally killed neighbour

😂

Mirabai · 28/10/2023 17:43

Hollyhead · 28/10/2023 17:37

I find it really distasteful that a number of posters seem almost titillated by the fact that this might be an expensive mistake. It was clearly an accident, and clearly the OP and her DP are mortified and want to put it right.

The £30 quince trees online are up to 1.5m so hardly a 'sapling' anyway. I'm not saying one of these would necessarily be appropriate, but people saying it will be hundreds of pounds are just being bitchy. Ignore OP.

They could plant a quince tree in another bit of garden in memory of the old one.

TheNoonBell · 28/10/2023 17:43

I just saw what is below and had to click.

Husband accidently killed neighbour...

LiberteaBeautea · 28/10/2023 17:44

HughCanoe · 28/10/2023 16:38

I read Husband accidentally killed neighbours

Me too.

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/10/2023 17:44

TheNoonBell · 28/10/2023 17:43

I just saw what is below and had to click.

Husband accidently killed neighbour...

To be fair, how many of us would really like to do this.

viques · 28/10/2023 17:45

Quince jam is much too chirpy if they are mourning the tree. I suggest a jar of membrillo paste and a CD of Portuguese fado music , both exceedingly depressing.

Fusterclucked · 28/10/2023 17:46

New tree, lovely wine and get a local artist/crafter to make something with a part of the old one

godmum56 · 28/10/2023 17:48

In trending this shows as "husband accidentally killed neighbo...." am I the only one who was disappointed? 🙃

Megifer · 28/10/2023 17:51

Randomname83738 · 28/10/2023 17:26

Thanks everyone, we’re taking some flowers and a card round shortly with essentially an open ended offer for them to think about and let us know when they’re ready (if there’s anything we can do to make the situation better, replacement trees etc).

Dont leave it open ended - time or resolution - they could dredge it up in 3 years time asking for all sorts.

It was an accident, id be offering cost of a tree surgeon that I'd source to go out ASAP then one of the £30 saplings if nothing can be done.

VeryGoodVeryNice · 28/10/2023 17:53

How have I got to 42 years old and never heard of a quince tree? Had to google and pretty sure I’ve never seen one either 🤷‍♀️

TentChristmas · 28/10/2023 17:54

If you can’t save the tree, can you find a wound carver or someone that makes love spoons and offer to have something made or carved from the wood? Like a bowl or goblet or something?

FadedRed · 28/10/2023 17:56

We had to have a mature tree from outer garden felled due to disease, my very clever DH saved some of the trunk and after a couple of years drying out, he made it into two garden seats. Maybe something like that could be an idea if you could find a local wood worker person who would do that?

Nuca · 28/10/2023 17:58

What does TAHs mean?

Original poster

Randomname83738 · 28/10/2023 17:58

@Sweetpeasaremadeforbees he was clearing ivy and other invasive creepers that were going up over the wall - it’s an old wall and the ivy etc has been on for years (we only moved in a couple of years ago), as soon as it was pulled off, parts of the wall were crumbling 😢

OP posts:

Original poster

Randomname83738 · 28/10/2023 17:59

@TentChristmas @FadedRed I like these ideas, unfortunately it’s a very slim trunked tree (thinner than an arm!) so unsure there would be enough wood… something to look into/offer though, thank you

OP posts:

godmum56 · 28/10/2023 18:00

Hollyhead · 28/10/2023 17:37

I find it really distasteful that a number of posters seem almost titillated by the fact that this might be an expensive mistake. It was clearly an accident, and clearly the OP and her DP are mortified and want to put it right.

The £30 quince trees online are up to 1.5m so hardly a 'sapling' anyway. I'm not saying one of these would necessarily be appropriate, but people saying it will be hundreds of pounds are just being bitchy. Ignore OP.

1.5 m is definitely a sapling!! If someone bulldozed a mature tree in my garden I'd expect more than that in terms of recompense.

BIossomtoes · 28/10/2023 18:01

I wish all neighbours were like you @Randomname83738. I hope they appreciate you, most people would just shrug it off. It’s lovely that you care that they’re upset.