To think nursery should have asked first?

[LittlestG]

DD(almost 3) went to nursery through half term this week, and because it was quieter, the workers wanted to take her and the other child in attendance that day out for a treat/walk. They do this relatively often and usually walk to nearby parks or maybe a local café for a sandwich and a drink if they don't have many children in. I have absolutely no problem with this, but this time they went to the huge city centre (don't mind this so much although I would have preferred to have been told beforehand) and took them to a fast food restaurant. We don't eat fast food and I was really surprised that they would take her somewhere with such unhealthy food without asking for my permission first. DD won't stop talking about it and now frequently asks for chips etc. which she hasn't done before.

Aibu, should I say something or just let it go? I don't want to cause huge ructions because our second child will be starting there (potentially) next year so we'll be with them for a long time, but it's also really bugged me!

YABU - let it go, don't say anything, it's just one of those things.
YANBU - raise it, they definitely should have asked first.

You will have signed permission for local trips and food so yabu. They don't need individual trip permission.

Is she doesn't have any allergies/religious food restrictions and you signed a generic consent form for trips out of nursery personally I wouldn't be upset about it.

She's at an age where she'll start going to birthdays parties and getting exposed to lots of new foods soon so I'm sure a chicken nugget/chip etc would have popped up soon.

I’d be delighted for DD if she’d had such a treat at nursery. I think if you’re noticing significant behavioural changes at home because of one meal she’s had with someone else, it’s probably your own approach to food that needs looking at fast, not theirs.

It must be very unusual to have a child who has never had any type of fast/ junk food. So I don't think the nursery done anything wrong.

This

I had a very similar issue years ago with my DD. I posted about it at the time, as I was v upset and got totally flamed. However, I completely agree with you and felt exactly the same and I did speak to the school (DD was in reception at the time). They were a bit eye rolly about it, but it really was a problem for me.

Wow my kids nursery took them to the greengrocers and bought them all a piece of fruit for a treat, I can’t imagine they would ever do something like this, for the cost as much as anything else!

I find it strange that after one fast food meal your child is now frequently asking for chips? It was a treat. Obviously we all want to give our children the healthiest and best possible starts we can, but I really think it can be damaging to develop thoughts such as "good foods" v "bad foods". Everything in moderation and all of that. I think my SIL would be a little pissed off as you are, so I can understand your thought process but I still wouldn't go complaining.

How has your kid never had chips before. Are you for real.

It’s chips not crack. I doubt it’ll be a regular trip out, I’d keep my gob shut.

I think you need to loosen the reins a tiny bit with treats/fast food otherwise when she is at secondary school will go a bit wild with junk food and could lead to unhealthy eating habits, hiding and eating junk food in secret etc.

Teach her to enjoy the odd treat in moderation instead.

I'd like to know this too. Maybe if she'd had them before she wouldn't be quite so obsessed with them now. I definitely wouldn't complain, you don't want to be "that parent"

Has your child never had chips?!

My son's school does this. It's as a treat and mostly because this particular fast food restaurant 'gives back to the community' this way. It's a cute lil trip, the kids enjoy it. They don't tell us when they are going, but if they did, I wouldn't imagine protesting against it over a few chips.

I do think it's an odd thing to do for a treat for kids that age actually. School age kids fair enough but 3 year olds? There's so much other stuff you can do with kids that age for the money.

I was a childminder and I think I took my kids to Macdonald's once and that was because an older school aged kid was leaving my care and he requested it.

However I'm amazed that one trip has had such an impact on her. I didn't take my older kid to Macdonald's until around that age and when she eventually went she was pretty nonplussed.

Our DC didn't know what a burger was at 3yo. Introduction to reception class all the kids knew what McDs was and their favourites on the menu.

Call it educational that they're learning this now. It's life. Ours hate burgers still at 22 & 19. We just don't do FF outlets. If we do it's baked spuds or sushi stuff.

Should add that I wouldn't raise it with the nursery as a one off. It doesn't sound like a regular thing and no harm has been done really has it?

Fair enough gang, I stand corrected.

We just don't eat it, so she's not been introduced to it. I'm not saying we eat the healthiest all the time but we just don't take her to fast food restaurants so she's never shown an interest before. It's really captured her attention though and keeps talking about it, much like she talks about going to the park and meeting the 'big dog' (which happened about 3 months ago but she still talks about it daily).

She's only been going a few months, I guess I'm just being a bit overly protective and PFB. Thank you for the perspective.

It’s a treat, unclench

I don't think its about whether OPs daughter has had chips before! Where I work we have a very strict healthy eating policy and no way would this be allowed. That said it sounds like a lovely gesture, maybe nicely ask for a heads up about where they are going in future on an outing so you can make the decision as to whether you keep her at home.

You will have signed a form at the beginning of the year regarding trips and leaving the nursery.

our lunches serve Chips on occasions so on a Friday all children will have fish and chips and sometimes on pizza day there are chips too so I’m surprised your child hasn’t had chips at nursery before.

I wouldn’t make a fuss, it was a day out with an added treat of eating out.

It’s a one off, a treat. Not as if they are taking her daily. How will you manage when she goes to school and children talk about going to McDonalds and Burger King? Shield her still?

Of course it’s captured her attention - these fast food joints are designed to do that. My kids have chips etc occasionally (eldest is 5) but we have decided as parents not to massage fast food/junk into ‘treats’/the best thing ever like they are marketed. I’m with you, stick to your values and subtly mention it to the nursery that they should have let you know the plan beforehand in case anyone had objections - this should have been just following protocol. She’ll move onto something else soon though so don’t worry about her going on about it though.

If I wanted that much control I would not use a nursery, I don't need to control to that much detail, I don't see an issue

I agree with you OP, I wouldn't be happy about it either. There are tonnes of healthier options out there, and it should be up to parents to decide what treats are given when outside of nursery time. If that makes me "clenched", so be it.