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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think nursery should have asked first?

39 replies

LittlestG · 28/10/2023 10:11

DD(almost 3) went to nursery through half term this week, and because it was quieter, the workers wanted to take her and the other child in attendance that day out for a treat/walk. They do this relatively often and usually walk to nearby parks or maybe a local café for a sandwich and a drink if they don't have many children in. I have absolutely no problem with this, but this time they went to the huge city centre (don't mind this so much although I would have preferred to have been told beforehand) and took them to a fast food restaurant. We don't eat fast food and I was really surprised that they would take her somewhere with such unhealthy food without asking for my permission first. DD won't stop talking about it and now frequently asks for chips etc. which she hasn't done before.

Aibu, should I say something or just let it go? I don't want to cause huge ructions because our second child will be starting there (potentially) next year so we'll be with them for a long time, but it's also really bugged me!

YABU - let it go, don't say anything, it's just one of those things.
YANBU - raise it, they definitely should have asked first.

OP posts:

Mintearo7 · 28/10/2023 10:54

Agree, sometimes it’s the ‘clenched’ people that change the world for the better. When it comes to reducing the attraction of junk food for our kids I’m happy to be one of these people.

PercyPigInAWig · 28/10/2023 10:57

I would feel the same way, we don’t eat fast food and I wouldn’t expect a trip out to involve going to McDonalds or similar. Our problem was more with family members thinking it would be a great treat for them because ‘all children love Maccy Ds’. But mine really didn’t as they weren’t sold the concept of it as a big treat.

Tombero · 28/10/2023 11:06

This happened with mine. Their childminder took them as a ‘treat’. Then questioned it with me later that they told her they’d never had one?! Sorry to warn you but it opened Pandora’s box for mine.
But to answer your question, I let it go, I’d never explicitly told her they didn’t eat that stuff and she was trying to do a nice thing.

fyn · 28/10/2023 11:33

Can you not make her make her baked chips and homemade chicken nuggets. Agree that you need to expose children to these things so that they don’t become fixated on these things. Solid Starts has really good peer, reviewed information on things like this.

Ssme92 · 28/10/2023 12:07

When it comes to reducing the attraction of junk food for our kids I’m happy to be one of these people

I would argue that by banning it altogether you are increasing the attraction to it. "you want what you can't have".... What happens at birthday parties in the future, other kids all eating chips and nuggets and your child not allowed them? Everything is OK in moderation, it's not being served for breakfast, lunch and dinner. As someone above said, not introducing these foods can lead to children going nuts when exposed to them later in life, like in secondary school.

I would agree the "treat" element needs to be removed to make them less attractive but the majority of my friends who have seriously unhealthy issues with food in adulthood didn't have a happy meal until their teens!

Itwasamemo3 · 28/10/2023 12:16

I have two friends who were rigid about healthy eating ,absolutely no chips,fried,chocolate,sweets ,cake etc when they were little. Guess whose children are overweight adults and eat crap constantly?🤔One is now Type2 diabetic.

BitofaStramash · 28/10/2023 12:18

You will have signed permission that covers all this.

Start preparing for birthday parties because junk food/fast food is often a component.

WiIIow · 28/10/2023 13:28

A friend of mine deprived her kids of absolutely everything remotely unhealthy. No treats, sweets, fizzy drinks, junk food, ice cream. Ever. Nothing. Not allowed.

Both kids are older now and both bad binge eaters, and both have drink problems.

The nursery were fine to do this as a treat. It's a normal treat.

UndercoverCop · 28/10/2023 13:37

People saying how will you shield her at school, you won't have to by that point. DS went to a birthday party yesterday and the food was a happy meal, he's never had one before we don't eat it, he asked for apple slices instead of chips and a cheeseburger and a bottle of milk, he took one bite of the burger and said he didn't like it, he's really not a fussy eater.
There's another one in a few weeks and I've been told as it's next door to a McDonald's that's where they will be eating, DS said oh no that's horrible. So I will make sure he eats before he goes, and he will order fish fingers apple and milk, he may or may not like the fish fingers.

There are plenty of adults who don't like fast food of this kind, and so it stands to reason especially if they don't have it while young, there will be children the same.

Our nursery had a healthy food policy and everything was cooked in house, they didn't have 'pizza days' or fish and chips on Fridays so I wouldn't been very surprised if they'd done this. School has fish fingers and chips on a Friday so DS just chooses the veggie pasta option instead

InTheRainOnATrain · 28/10/2023 13:49

We don’t really eat fast food either so my kids only have it when we’re travelling. Last time was a Wendy’s 9 months ago in an American airport. Has your DD never had a kids meal in a pub though? Those are usually whatever + chips so not that different to a McDonald’s. Which sounds like a fine albeit slightly lazy outing; a park would have been better but I wouldn’t be cross about it. I do find it weird that it’s causing issues at home though, it suggests maybe you aren’t giving her great attitudes towards food. Maybe not but it’s just on my mind as I know a family who are militant about healthy eating and the DD tends to ignore all the activities and other kids at birthday parties to gorge on the food and chug juice - there was a party today and the poor girl went into a frenzy over pom bears. So if it seems like you’re heading that way then take the opportunity now to nip it in the bud and relax a bit.

Peoplemakemedespair · 28/10/2023 13:52

fyn · 28/10/2023 11:33

No way have the nursery children not had chips before in one form or another

margotrose · 28/10/2023 13:54

Mintearo7 · 28/10/2023 10:54

Agree, sometimes it’s the ‘clenched’ people that change the world for the better. When it comes to reducing the attraction of junk food for our kids I’m happy to be one of these people.

Edited

My parents banned junk food and all it did was make it even more appealing. As soon as I had access to my own money, it all went on sweets, crisps, McDonald's, chocolate and fizzy drinks.

Even into adulthood I struggle with food and all that "forbidden" stuff is still hugely rewarding to me as I was never, ever allowed it at all growing up.

Bearbookagainandagain · 28/10/2023 15:38

YANBU, our nursery would never give fast food for lunch in the first place, but if there was a situation where they had to they would definitely ask first. We don't pay them to feed the kids crap.

Flittingaboutagain · 28/10/2023 15:42

Really surprised how many people seem to feed or allow their tots to eat junk food at all. These aren't treats for kids, they're adult perceptions of treats. Treats are new opportunities, having extra goes on the slide etc!

Offering kids crap young doesn't prevent anything. Much like early introduction to alcohol.

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