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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to book the bigger room?

39 replies

Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:27

DH and I are going away with 7 month old DC for a staycation this weekend. It was all very last minute and booked literally yesterday. It will be our first trip as a trio (and much needed!)

DH and I think different rooms.would.be nicer. Both rooms cost the same. One is a suite with two rooms, the other is a smaller room with a hot tub.

When I looked at this place, I was initially looking at a "suite" where there is a separate living area to the bedroom so DH and I could at least speak without whispering while DC sleeps (also friends who have been away with their babies say their top tip would be to either stay in an aparthotel or hotel with more than one room (or at least a big room). Anyway, I looked at the prices and felt like it was too dear so told DH let's book it for another time when it's not so last minute and will hopefully be a bit cheaper..

DH wanted to surprise me and so booked it anyway. But he booked a regular room but with a hot tub on the terrace. The hotel then messaged him to say they noticed he requested a cot, and with a cot in the room there would barely be any floor space and would we prefer to still go ahead with that room. I feel like that's going to be nightmarish with a 7 month old for 3 days. And also I just wanted a cosy time inside and not really fancying going out with not much on for the hot tub.

I told DH, if the two options cost the same I'd prefer the bigger room as the selling point for the other room is a hot tub outside, I just don't feel like it's the weather for it. And also with DC she sleeps at around 9pm for the night and I just feel like it'll be cold and not really worth it.

DH has asked me to stop complaining and that it might not be as bad as I am anticipating.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:33

Edited for typos. He has also said I am making him regret his choice .But I said it's not set in stone as the hotel are asking us if we would prefer a bigger room.

OP posts:
OldBilge · 28/10/2023 06:35

Get the bigger room. We’ve all had that awful thing where you end up sitting in the bathroom so as not to wake a small baby whose not a good sleeper.

Caspianberg · 28/10/2023 06:36

I would swap for bigger room. If hotel are saying travel cot will barely fit then the other one with hot tub sounds tiny.

At 7 months you also want some floor space for blanket to be put down and baby to crawl or sit and play. You can’t leave them on bed

StaringAtTheSunset · 28/10/2023 06:41

Get the suite. You’ll be able to have nice evenings together then. Being cramped in a small room trying not to wake your baby will be miserable. I’d rather not go away. I hate hot tubs so that would not be a selling point at all for me. 😬

tabulaisrasa · 28/10/2023 06:42

Get the bigger room, why is it such a big deal to hi to just change it?! Even the hotel has warned him the booked room is not suitable.

Original poster
Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:45

tabulaisrasa · 28/10/2023 06:42

Get the bigger room, why is it such a big deal to hi to just change it?! Even the hotel has warned him the booked room is not suitable.

Because he wants the hot tub. It's highly unlikely hot tub-ing will lead to anything as I also don't fancy being so intimate with DC in such a small room...

Just had a look at the website. The room he wants is 24 sq m, the suite is 65 sq m.

OP posts:
Ihaterhymingrabbit · 28/10/2023 06:46

Definitely change it, we always look to
book a 1 bedroom apartment when we travel so that we can stay up late or get up early without disturbing our toddler.
In reality we are that knackered we go to bed soon after him but the thought is there 🤣. Hot tubs are over rated anyway.

You'll benefit more from the bigger room than the hot tub. Is he hoping for some hot tub action? 🤣

Original poster
Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:48

Ihaterhymingrabbit · 28/10/2023 06:46

Definitely change it, we always look to
book a 1 bedroom apartment when we travel so that we can stay up late or get up early without disturbing our toddler.
In reality we are that knackered we go to bed soon after him but the thought is there 🤣. Hot tubs are over rated anyway.

You'll benefit more from the bigger room than the hot tub. Is he hoping for some hot tub action? 🤣

Yes he is. Which is also irritating me now as I'm definitely not feeling in the mood

OP posts:
PenguinRainbows · 28/10/2023 06:52

It would be silly to get such a tiny room with a baby. I would change it to the bigger one myself if he wouldn’t.

Original poster
Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:55

PenguinRainbows · 28/10/2023 06:52

It would be silly to get such a tiny room with a baby. I would change it to the bigger one myself if he wouldn’t.

I feel like that would cause an argument.

He wants to give it a chance. So he suggested go and see if it's cramped and if it's too small we'll get the bigger place.

(But what if the bigger place is unavailable...?)

OP posts:
Greenberg2 · 28/10/2023 06:56

Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:48

Yes he is. Which is also irritating me now as I'm definitely not feeling in the mood

Show quote history

I don't blame you. Especially as he presented it as a surprise for you when it's really just for him setting you up for sex. That would really put me off. I hate it when you feel manipulated into sex. Such a turn off. It's also like when men buy you sexy underwear for your birthday, even though you never wear it and you know the present is really for them. Urgghhh.

Original poster
Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:59

Also it's supposed to be for my birthday

OP posts:
StaringAtTheSunset · 28/10/2023 06:59

I feel like that would cause an argument.

Well, so will being stuck in a tiny room for 3 days. so just tell him you’re booking the other one. Why does he get to decide? It’s supposed to be a relaxing break for both of you.

OldBilge · 28/10/2023 07:00

Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 06:55

I feel like that would cause an argument.

He wants to give it a chance. So he suggested go and see if it's cramped and if it's too small we'll get the bigger place.

(But what if the bigger place is unavailable...?)

Show quote history

Well, have that argument? The hotel have told you there will be almost no floor space with a cot in the smaller room. I mean, how much more does he need to convince him?

Rosiiee · 28/10/2023 07:02

If it’s such a big deal to him just stick with the smaller room. He’ll quickly realise how bad of an idea he had. Sometimes they have to learn from their mistake 🤷🏻‍♀️

PurpleWhirple · 28/10/2023 07:03

He's a moron OP. And a selfish one at that. Get the bigger room.

OldBilge · 28/10/2023 07:04

Rosiiee · 28/10/2023 07:02

If it’s such a big deal to him just stick with the smaller room. He’ll quickly realise how bad of an idea he had. Sometimes they have to learn from their mistake 🤷🏻‍♀️

Unfortunately the OP still needs to live with that mistake.

Totalwasteofpaper · 28/10/2023 07:09

Ideally just phone yourself and change it.

with my DH he can be quite stubborn and the only way he learns is when it's a disaster.... he feels the natural consequences.

However if you really need the break it might not be the time for actions -> consequences.
In your shoes I'd ask the hotel if it's possible to upgrade/ change at arrival show him the big Vs tiny room OR contact the hotel directly and change it now.

You are completely correct btw. You just NEED a separate room (be it balcony in hot climate or one bed aparthotel) ideally rooms. I cannot sleep in the same room and get more than4 hours broken sleep)

We did it once when DD was about 8 months sleeping in the same room and I'd rather not go on holiday it was hellish (& we we were in an amazing place).

If your baby is crawling at all it will be even worse.

Allschoolsareartschools · 28/10/2023 07:09

Yes have an argument!
He's got it all planned hasn't he? Baby settles straightaway in a small, unfamiliar room?
You & him in the hot tub & you instantly in the mood?
It's not going to happen just the way he's planning & he needs telling really clearly, he's being selfish here.
Being set up for sex is a total turn off. The fact that it's for YOUR birthday as well!
He's being unreasonable & entitled, what a turn off.

Anngin · 28/10/2023 07:12

Definitely the bigger room- no idea why you're contemplating the smaller room it sounds a nightmare.

Autiebibliophile · 28/10/2023 07:18

He's being selfish. It's for your birthday you should have what you want. And yes he's hoping the hot tub will lead to sex.

I would say you don't really want to go in a hot tub when it's cold and potentially raining and you would prefer the separate room so you two can enjoy spending time together without fear of waking baby.

SunshineAutumnday · 28/10/2023 07:26

Phone up and change the room, say it was a suprise.

prisscalledwanda · 28/10/2023 07:30

Another vote for the bigger room, definitely the right decision

BUT it sounds like you're going for a couple of nights. Would a compromise for your husband's benefit be to move rooms while you're there? Get the hot tub one for one night and then the suite for the rest? You could sell it as 'getting to enjoy both rooms' (tho really you're just minimising the time in the small one)?

return2sender · 28/10/2023 07:34

Put your foot down!

Original poster
Jelllytot · 28/10/2023 07:39

I'll have another chat with him about it. I like the idea of having both rooms but it will be such a faff lugging baby stuff from one room to another.

I really want to avoid an argument before we go away. DH and I have had our fair share of arguments lately (new baby plus house move plus builders for 4 months) and I want to avoid another bicker escalating into something bigger.

OP posts: