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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find this situation odd? Giving a lift

37 replies

Iviry · 27/10/2023 20:21

I‘ll try not to make this confusing.

Colleague lives at village one.

Me and and another colleague (also neighbour) live at village two.

Restaurant is at village three.

It‘s about a ten minute drive between each village, on a straight road. You have to drive through village two to get to village three from village one. It’s too far to walk.

We all had a work social event at the restaurant in village three. I haven’t been out with these women before but wanted to be polite so offered to drive. I said I would pick them both up, but colleague from village one said she would meet us at village two. I presumed she was getting a lift to village two so I didn’t have to drive back on myself to pick her up.

Instead she drove to village two, parked her car and waited for me to pick her up. When I drove us home, I dropped her at her car and she drove the rest of the way home.

AIBU or is this not a bit odd? I offered to be the designated driver and not drink, and was more than happy to pick her up at village one.

What reasons would you have for doing this?

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 27/10/2023 20:22

I'd assume she had popped in to see someone in village two.

Dahlia444 · 27/10/2023 20:23

I have friends who've done exactly that despite me offering to pick them up. I think for them it's a combination of really not wanting to be any trouble at all, as well as wanting to arrive with someone.

Fusterclucked · 27/10/2023 20:24

To save herself fuel money?. It’s weird but people are very strange.

loseweightpleasegod · 27/10/2023 20:24

She doesn’t want you to know where she lives?

walking · 27/10/2023 20:24

I don't think it's that strange either. Just read all the threads here about drivers being annoyed about non-drivers taking advantage. This isn't exactly the same, but like others said, she probably didn't want you to have to drive 20 minutes extra.

icelollycraving · 27/10/2023 20:25

Perhaps they wanted to arrive with others but not put you out at all?

DDivaStar · 27/10/2023 20:26

I'm guessing she's not bothered about drinking but might not want to arrive alone.

CaineRaine · 27/10/2023 20:27

I’ve accepted lifts when the parking is limited at a venue as I’m not great at parking in tight spaces. Maybe she was avoiding that situation and didn’t want to put you out by having to pick her up.

trythisforsize · 27/10/2023 20:30

Reducing carbon emissions but not putting the whole job of driving everyone onto you?

OrangeSofa1 · 27/10/2023 20:30

So why didn’t she offer to pick you up so you could have a drink if you wanted? Is the difference in miles small between the villages or could petrol money come Into the equation?

Toytransportemergency · 27/10/2023 20:30

But she could have picked two people up in village two and driven the whole way…

Original poster
Iviry · 27/10/2023 20:35

I know where she lives, we have been to each others houses more than once.

She wouldn’t have had to arrive alone, I offered to pick her up from her village.

She drives a huge car mostly with just her in it so I don’t think she is too bothered about carbon emissions.

She hadn’t been visiting anyone in my village (there are 6 houses so more of a hamlet I suppose).

OP posts:
Original poster
Iviry · 27/10/2023 20:37

I did wonder if she didn’t want to put me out, but it actually annoyed me more- why didn’t she just drive is all the extra ten minutes there?

OP posts:
Icopewhenihope · 27/10/2023 20:37

Sorry that’s weird.

Original poster
Iviry · 27/10/2023 20:37

@OrangeSofa1 @Toytransportemergency this is what I am wondering

OP posts:
TheActualDuck · 27/10/2023 20:38

Yes that's odd and if I'd sacrificed having a drink to politely offer lifts as you say you did then I'd be a bit naffed off.

Ihatemondays1962 · 27/10/2023 20:38

I'd assume she was concerned about parking (or lack of) at the restaurant.

Offcom · 27/10/2023 20:40

Really likes your company?

Worried she’ll miss some work chat or gossip?

Paranoid you’ll talk about her?

Original poster
Iviry · 27/10/2023 20:40

Ihatemondays1962 · 27/10/2023 20:38

I'd assume she was concerned about parking (or lack of) at the restaurant.

But I offered to pick her up? She didn’t have to drive at all

OP posts:
Loub55 · 27/10/2023 20:46

OrangeSofa1 · 27/10/2023 20:30

So why didn’t she offer to pick you up so you could have a drink if you wanted? Is the difference in miles small between the villages or could petrol money come Into the equation?

Totally agree with this, it meant both of you couldn't have a drink which seems silly!

CatthePat · 27/10/2023 20:53

I would assume she doesn't like driving other people. By accepting your lift she therefore gets around the possibility of having to take the two of you. And by driving to you she feels she has not put you out.

Original poster
Iviry · 27/10/2023 20:54

I don’t think it’s about petrol money- if I had picked her up, she would have saved money. And we are in a well paid job

OP posts:
Huhuhuhu · 27/10/2023 20:55

The only possible reason to me looks like she doesn't want you to know where she lives.

Ibravedaflood · 27/10/2023 20:56

Imo she didn't want her dh to know she was getting a lift. Maybe he didn't know she was going out or doesn't trust her...

fluffypotatoes · 27/10/2023 20:59

Maybe she lives in an amazing house