WIBU to just book a holiday

[HavingAnOffDAy]

So short back story, I have a close friend who has a DS of a similar age to my DC's.

We're both single mums & our DC's get on well so we often do things together - meals/days out/weekends away etc.

We all went on holiday abroad this year, to a AI resort, which I booked to go to with my DC & she booked into the same place when I told her about it a few weeks later.

We all had a lovely holiday, got on well etc etc & had a fab time.

She has asked if we would like to holiday together next summer, which we have said we'd love to, however when I've spoken to my DC (who'll be 13 & 17 next summer) and we've agreed we'd like to go somewhere we can be a bit more self sufficient & less resort based as we found the whole AI resort thing a bit cosseted & limiting in terms of evenings out, taking things at our own pace etc.

I'll add here that our resort was 24 hr AI, with plenty of bars & restaurants but it was still a bit formulaic & samey. I'm NOT knocking AI as it was great for the 3 of us when DC were younger but now they're older they like to be out in the wild a bit more 😂

Anyway, I've relayed all this to my friend, and said as my DD17 would like to take a friend next next summer we'd prefer to go somewhere on a self catering/B&B basis so we have the flexibility to take the days/evenings at our own pace & venture out a bit more.

Friend was fine with this, so I started looking for places to go, and sent her a few links etc. She came back saying she would have to go to a place that was at least 4 rated as DS was 'traumatised' staying at a 3 hotel with his dad for two nights when his return flight got cancelled this summer.

I was a bit 🤔but it's holiday, and I'm not suggesting we slum it anyway, so found some more 4*+ places & sent her the links to those. She came back saying she liked the look of one of them, and would have look for some more.

I explained to her that because DD is bringing a friend I don't have carte blanche on budget, and for that reason I'd like to get something booked soon. I'm also limited to the dates I can take DS away due to him going on holiday with his dad too.

This was about 3 weeks ago. I asked a week or so later if she'd had chance to look & she said she'd been busy with work but would look at the weekend. Last week she said the same...and now the holiday we BOTH liked the look of (or so I thought) has sold out.

I messaged to tell her & she again said she'd have a look herself....but I'm still waiting.

Would I be unreasonable to just book something that suits us (DD, DD's friend, and DS) and just left friend know?

Also going to add that I'm peri-menopausal & well aware that I can be irrational at times so am prepared to be told I need to chill a bit.

But is it really the view of the majority? I don’t think so. We stayed AI this year. It was an AI hotel/resort so everyone there was the same.

By 10am every day, the car park was empty. My kids made a few friends during the evening’s dancing and from chatting briefly with their parents, the majority went sightseeing during the day and returned around 7pm to change for the evening meal.

There were certainly a few that went for the sun and only the sun as they looked well settled on the loungers when we returned but they were definitely in the minority.

It wasn’t wasteful to eat lunch out. It supported the local economy. It gave us an opportunity to eat fresh local seafood and produce. It wasn’t very expensive to go AI and the kids were able to get juices and ice creams whenever they wanted etc. AI isn’t just about food and alcohol, was hassle free and kid’s entertainment was provided at night which the kids loved.

@Blackandwhitemakesgrey there are large proportion of people who book AI and don't leave the hotel/resort, they wake up at 5am for sunbeds and there are always shortages because of this, they drink from breakfast until it shuts off for the night, eat as much food as they can and won't leave the place, let alone buy anything outside the hotel.. I HATE AI (unless it's 5*) for this reason. The grabby, grabby brigade.

Blondebrunette1 My experience of AI is poles apart from yours. Maybe it depends on the location. We went to a family orientated hotel. There weren’t many drinking at all other than with their meals and sitting outside watching their kids dancing until 11pm.

The guests seemed to be mainly French (a lot) Irish(a few) Eastern European (a lot), a few English (one English couple noticeably did drink a lot and stood out because they danced non stop in the kid’s disco but people just smiled at them) and a group of English lads who complained they were bored out of their heads and got taxis to a big town to go drinking. They told DH they did not realise our hotel was aimed at families and it was pretty much in darkness by midnight.

We were really impressed with it as it was our first time in an AI and it was nice not having to do grocery shopping and cooking while on holidays.

@Blackandwhitemakesgrey perhaps, I think less well off people use AI to budget in fairness, they can relax knowing they've paid for their holiday in its entirety. If people have more money they have more flexibility or if they are in a particular location that they've gone for sightseeing/exploring the area specifically it may be different but we've found whenever we've stayed AI it's so much more chaotic in the hotel itself, so we do go out as much as we can x

We did go out for meals, though not so much during the day as it was during the extreme temperatures in July so it was in excess of 45 degrees every day.

For me the AI wasn't the issue as such - it's more that now my DC are older they want different things from a holiday so being less resort based is what we need next time we go away.

Yes, there's an urgency for me as I'm limited to the times we can go away.

I'd also like to be able to lock the price in now so I know what I need to save each month, and whether I can afford a holiday with my DD when her brother is away later in the summer.

@HavingAnOffDAy in which case book something, you’ve been reasonable and communicative so go for it.

Ok so I’ve spent half the bloody day trawling sites & have found something I think would work for us all. One of the issues is that I’d prefer DD & her friend to be in their own room (as would they!) and as they’ll still only be 17 in the summer some travel companies want to put us all in one room. Anyway, I digress.

I’ve found somewhere, DC & I are happy with it. DD’s friend is happy with it.

I’ve messaged my friend, with a link, and said I think it ticks lots of boxes for us all…quiet location but 5 min taxi ride to busier area, great reviews on Trip Advisor, reasonably priced, has the dates SHE has specified she’s tied to due to a family birthday, and works with the dates both our boys are away with their DF’s.

Said I’ll be booking on Friday at the latest as we’ve lost out on a couple of nice places so far & I don’t want to miss out again.

Asked her to let me know whether she wants adding on, and if she’s seen any alternatives she’d like me to consider then to please send details in good time for me to take a look at.

I think she’ll decline to book…but at least it will have forced her hand to say so. If she does it means we have a bit more freedom with dates too so every cloud & all that.