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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s never ok to smoke weed in the house when there are children

90 replies

Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:47

So my next door neighbours who I cannot stand for a number of (justified) reasons smoke weed inside their house. They have 3 young children and they don’t see the problem. I had to speak to them about it because our houses are semi detached and the smell comes through to our house. We both live in social housing and the walls are like paper and the workmanship eg plaster boards cracks in walls is absolute tosh so hence the smell coming through to our house. After me and dh speaking to them several times about the weed and them ignoring our polite request to smoke it in the garden I decided to do report them to the HA. Things then settled and we had six glorious months without having to endure the foul smell but the last few weeks my neighbours have started up again. AIBU to consider reporting them again? My dh also thinks we should report to social services but I think it’s one thing reporting it to housing to which we received no back lash from our neighbours, but I can guarantee if we were to report it social services it would be a different story. Not sure what to do but all I know is i don’t want to smell that crap in my house and I don’t want my kids to have to breathe it in.

OP posts:
cultureplanet · 27/10/2023 11:52

Surely you don’t need us to confirm this to you OP

Surely

lilyblue5 · 27/10/2023 11:53

Vile.

Original poster
Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:53

To be honest it’s more I’d just like to understand why anyone would smoke weed around their kids. I just don’t get it. I mean if you really need to smoke it just go outside.

OP posts:
Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 27/10/2023 11:53

Social services won't act on a report of smoking weed around children

cultureplanet · 27/10/2023 11:54

If I was your dh, I would override you and report to SS

You are concerned about your children breathing it in from a distant

but not willing to do anything about the children in the immediate vicinity

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 27/10/2023 11:54

Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:53

To be honest it’s more I’d just like to understand why anyone would smoke weed around their kids. I just don’t get it. I mean if you really need to smoke it just go outside.

Because they are selfish, lazy and gross! Same as parents who smoke cigarettes.

cultureplanet · 27/10/2023 11:55

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 27/10/2023 11:53

Social services won't act on a report of smoking weed around children

If reported to environmental services and complaint upheld - then yes they will.

added to which environmental will need to visit. And will very likely refer to ss

Original poster
Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:55

Do you not think so. That surprises me. Especially since they smoke and they both drive and I’ve seen the husband a few times come out the house and as we were passing he stunk of the stuff. So he’s basically driving his kids around high as a kite.

OP posts:
cultureplanet · 27/10/2023 11:55

Environmental services very often refer to SS. Unsurprisingly if you think about it

MinnieL · 27/10/2023 11:56

I don’t know why anyone would smoke weed or cigarettes in a house where young children reside. Especially if you can smell it from next door. By all means carry on reporting them to the council/HA but will SS get involved and do anything? I doubt it.

You’re allowed to smoke weed when it’s personal use so they can’t get exactly get into trouble? At most SS may advice them to smoke outside but that’s just my guess. I’m sure someone will come along with an educated response!

Original poster
Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:56

If we were to report to SS it would be obvious to them who it was and although I’m not frightened of my neighbours they could easily make our lives difficult.

OP posts:
RudsyFarmer · 27/10/2023 11:57

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 27/10/2023 11:53

Social services won't act on a report of smoking weed around children

I find that interesting. SS aren’t interested in parents taking drugs whilst looking after children? I would think that’s exactly the kind of parenting they’d want to. Heck out. No wonder here are so many cases of unfettered abuse in the news if that’s the bar.

EmeraldTheSeahorse · 27/10/2023 11:59

Just be prepared for them to make up a malicious reason to report you as revenge!

TomatoSandwiches · 27/10/2023 12:01

I'd not be bothered about neighbours making my life a bit difficult I'd not be able to sleep properly knowing they're subjecting children to that and not do something about it.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 27/10/2023 12:01

RudsyFarmer · 27/10/2023 11:57

I find that interesting. SS aren’t interested in parents taking drugs whilst looking after children? I would think that’s exactly the kind of parenting they’d want to. Heck out. No wonder here are so many cases of unfettered abuse in the news if that’s the bar.

Show quote history

The bar for social services involvement is high! At the most they might phone the parents and advise them to smoke outside and after kids are in bed but I doubt even that. What's the actual impact on the children of the parents smoking weed, apart from the obvious passive smoking? I'm not saying smoking weed around kids is fine but unless the schools are reporting they miss loads of school or whatever there needs to be observable harm before social services will get involved. Just being weed smokers isn't enough.

Original poster
Xanders · 27/10/2023 12:02

Yeah they could report me for some made up reason but SS wouldn’t find anything untoward so I’m not that concerned.

OP posts:
dcsp · 27/10/2023 12:04

Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:53

To be honest it’s more I’d just like to understand why anyone would smoke weed around their kids. I just don’t get it. I mean if you really need to smoke it just go outside.

Smoking weed does result in second-hand smoke, and I don't think people should smoke anything around children, whether tobacco or weed - so if you'd have the same problem with them smoking tobacco then YANBU

If however your problem is specifically the fact that weed is a drug then I'd see the use of weed as no worse (in fact possibly less bad) than alcohol - and a large number of parents will have a glass of beer or a wine around their child.

Original poster
Xanders · 27/10/2023 12:05

The impact other than passive smoking could be a number of things eg them smoking that much that they fall asleep when they’re supposed to be supervising their kids. They drive their car high(which they do) and crash, they drink alcohol as well as smoking and end up having a massive bust (which they do) which then impacts the kids.

OP posts:
cultureplanet · 27/10/2023 12:05

Xanders · 27/10/2023 11:56

If we were to report to SS it would be obvious to them who it was and although I’m not frightened of my neighbours they could easily make our lives difficult.

Boo hoo

cultureplanet · 27/10/2023 12:06

Xanders · 27/10/2023 12:05

The impact other than passive smoking could be a number of things eg them smoking that much that they fall asleep when they’re supposed to be supervising their kids. They drive their car high(which they do) and crash, they drink alcohol as well as smoking and end up having a massive bust (which they do) which then impacts the kids.

FFS

why the hell haven’t you reported them for driving their car whilst high

DiscoBeat · 27/10/2023 12:25

Social services won't act on a report of smoking weed around children

I'm surprised at that. I hope it changes!

Laurdo · 27/10/2023 12:26

I don't think it's specifically weed that's the issue. I don't agree with smoking cigarettes around children either.

DinoDaddy · 27/10/2023 12:29

Social services will not give a shit about cannabis. They don't care about recreation cannabis use, even if in the house around children. I have experience with this exact situation and social services will not intervene.

RudsyFarmer · 27/10/2023 12:29

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 27/10/2023 12:01

The bar for social services involvement is high! At the most they might phone the parents and advise them to smoke outside and after kids are in bed but I doubt even that. What's the actual impact on the children of the parents smoking weed, apart from the obvious passive smoking? I'm not saying smoking weed around kids is fine but unless the schools are reporting they miss loads of school or whatever there needs to be observable harm before social services will get involved. Just being weed smokers isn't enough.

Show quote history

I believe you! It explains an awful lot.

Birch101 · 27/10/2023 12:29

You need to report them to the police if you suspect driving whilst high!!! Jeez

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