Is he being toxic or WIBU?

[JellyPopz]

DH wfh today, returns from shop this morning at 9.15am with a bunch of flowers. I jokingly say "aww were they giving them away?!" and he jokingly replies "you're not getting a kiss now!". He then seems a bit short later bit says nothing is wrong. A little later he shows a photo of the flowers on the kitchen table with the words 'guess she's not a flower person, been on the table for 2 hours' for a social media post. I said not to send that as it looks mean, like he's shaming me. He acts confused but doesn't share the post. About half an hour ago he has asked if I don't want the flowers as I haven't yet put them in a vase. I've had a shower and wfh so have been meaning to but haven't got round to it. He said he would give them to his Mum if I'm not bothered. I said I am bothered but he can just give them to her if he's annoyed I didn't jump and put them straight in a vase.

He's put them in the passage to take to his Mums and gone upstairs. So I've put them in a vase now and will continue with the notion that I didn't realise he'd be offended that they weren't out straight in a vase.

WIBU, is it an etiquette to put them straight in water? I guess I should have.

I feel his actions and comments of giving them to his Mum is a bit toxic? He gave me some flowers then wanted to take them away because I hadn't acted exactly as he wanted!

Yeah, he's not the toxic one....
You were rude and ungrateful.

I love flowers. I want them all the time. Therefore if anyone buys them for me I make a massive fuss and show of appreciation!
You were mean op !

The comment "were they giving them away" is alright if you've been together a long time and know each other well. He knows it was a jokey remark and seems to have thought no more of it. What was hurtful though was leaving the flowers on the kitchen table to wilt for 2 hours. It was basically a total snub to a lovely gesture. Surely you could have grabbed something to put them in and followed it up with a smile and a thank you. I don't blame the bloke for being pee'd off.

I suspect these weren't the kind of answers OP was hoping for.

I think you could have been more appreciative when you received them - it would have been nice to say thank you rather than just being sarcastic. And I also think it wouldn’t have taken very long to chuck them in some water to keep them alive. But that applies to your husband too - it would have been just as simple for him to arrange them, and no good reason for him not to do so. He was definitely unreasonable to make passive aggressive swipes on social media instead of spending a couple of minutes putting the flowers in a vase.

You could both do better next time!

I bet he wishes he hadn’t bothered trying to be affectionate and romantic. You do appear to have been rude and ungrateful.

This is how I knew DH was a keeper, he bought me flowers and then proceeded to put them in a vase and arrange them himself, instead of expecting me to drop everything and sort them

I love flowers, but hate the faff of finding a vase, cutting them, arranging them.....

Tbh, if you've left them sitting out of water for 2 hours, they're as good as dead anyway.