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AIBU?

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Original poster

Poo question! What would you expect nursery to do?

64 replies

Pitapatter11 · 25/10/2023 19:02

If you picked up your child from nursery and when you went into the room to get them they said they'd done a poo.

Would you expect nursery to change it even though the parent was there or would you expect nursery to let the child go with a full nappy?

OP posts:
Bouncyball23 · 25/10/2023 19:31

They should off changed him or atleast offered, as for leaking or full nappies other times I would absolutely complain this would be unacceptable in my nursery

Sparklybanana · 25/10/2023 19:31

If they knew the child was dirty and didn't offer to change it I'd be seriously concerned about the quality of care they give when you're not there if they are willing to let them sit in a poo, giving them a sore bum, whilst you are there.
When my oldest kids were in nursery they were happy with me going into change it but now they don't let parents through but they do sort it out. I have had a few occasions when mum nose beats nursery nose but they've always acted.
I'd be complaining personally. That's so wrong.

Shinyandnew1 · 25/10/2023 19:31

You knew he’d done a poo and took him home without changing him?!

I certainly wouldn’t have done that. I would have changed him myself or if I didn’t know where I could do it, I would have asked them whereabouts I could change him. If I didn’t have a nappy, I would have got one out if his bag or asked the nursery for whatever they’d use when they need to change him.

Humbugg · 25/10/2023 19:32

Our nursery will always always change him/ offer to happily and not begrudgingly. The staff would all say “ ooo X we can’t let you go home with a Pooey bum let’s change you right away before you get in the car”

eewan · 25/10/2023 19:34

Why didn't you just ask to change him before you left?
I'd expect them to at least offer but if they looked busy then I'd ask to change it myself.

Whinge · 25/10/2023 19:37

If they knew the child was dirty and didn't offer to change it I'd be seriously concerned about the quality of care they give when you're not there

I agree with this. Especially with the OPs additional updates about wet nappies. This is basic care, and it's shocking that they're not changing children. Sad

BertieBotts · 25/10/2023 19:39

I have to go home on public transport, so I couldn't take him home dirty, it wouldn't be fair.

This actually happens fairly often as my youngest tends to poo after his nap. They always offer, but because he's seen me he wants me to do it and won't be handed to anyone. DH said they did it for him once and it was really awkward just standing there 😁

I just use their changing table. I'm sure I probably use the wrong procedure but they have never explained to me how to do it in the proper way.

Bedbynoon · 25/10/2023 19:39

Your child. You pay the staff to look after them when you can’t, you are there so you can! Why wouldn’t you? Of course child shouldn’t leave with a full nappy but parent changes child.

BannedfromChristmas · 25/10/2023 19:41

I was a nursery nurse, we used to point the carer to our facilities. If they were collecting it was their job. If the kid pood before the carers arrival then we would do it of course.

Nowherenew · 25/10/2023 19:43

Pitapatter11 · 25/10/2023 19:08

Thanks. Dh was a bit unhappy that they didn't change him, I think it's a bit of a grey area as you say however it is a bit of a running theme at the moment I.e. picking child up with a huge nappy (often leaked). Usually only wee though.

Felt bad as I hadn't brought any nappies with me as I was just popping him in the car and driving the 5 mins home. But then his bum was a little sore when we got back so I don't think he'd just poo'd the second I arrived.

I would definitely expect the parent to change them.

But if you hadn’t brought any nappies then I’d explain and ask if they had a spare one to use.

Obviously if he’s in dirty or wet nappies regularly then that’s really bad and definitely worth bringing up.

Perhaps keep a log of how many times it happens over the next couple of weeks.

rainyskylight · 25/10/2023 19:44

At DDs nursery when she was in nappies she was notorious for a 5pm poo. I felt so bad once at their changing her that I said I was only 5 mins from home (pram, not even a tight car seat) but they insisted on changing her. They made me feel bad at the suggestion! There was no option for us changing her there ourselves and they would not have let us.

Coffeerum · 25/10/2023 19:45

Bedbynoon · 25/10/2023 19:39

Your child. You pay the staff to look after them when you can’t, you are there so you can! Why wouldn’t you? Of course child shouldn’t leave with a full nappy but parent changes child.

Most nurseries don’t allow parents in so a parent wouldn’t be able to go in and just do the change.

BertieBotts · 25/10/2023 19:47

Wasn't that just a COVID thing? Seems a bit weird if you can't go inside the nursery. Why so secretive?

Canisaysomething · 25/10/2023 19:52

Whether they change or offer a space for you to change, I wouldn’t expect anyone to put a child with a nappy full of poo into a car seat, how horrid.

whattodoisthequestion · 25/10/2023 19:52

@Pitapatter11 I have worked in a nursery, childminders and a school and in this situation we would always offer to change them ourself or allow the parent in to change them

NerrSnerr · 25/10/2023 19:52

When mine were at nursery I used to offer but they did it.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 25/10/2023 19:52

BertieBotts · 25/10/2023 19:47

Wasn't that just a COVID thing? Seems a bit weird if you can't go inside the nursery. Why so secretive?

Because people don’t want random parents around while their children are getting changed

Coffeerum · 25/10/2023 19:53

BertieBotts · 25/10/2023 19:47

Wasn't that just a COVID thing? Seems a bit weird if you can't go inside the nursery. Why so secretive?

Nope. I just toured about 6 local nurseries and every single one does the handover at the door.
It’s not that weird, you don’t have parents wondering around inside schools at pick up why would nurseries be different?

Allowing random parents into the nappy changing facilities of a nursery sounds terrible from a safe guarding perspective.

LimePi · 25/10/2023 19:58

My nursery always changed my DC
we even joked that she has a routine to poop right when I arrive 🤣

ItsThatTimeAgainXmas · 25/10/2023 19:59

Pitapatter11 · 25/10/2023 19:08

Thanks. Dh was a bit unhappy that they didn't change him, I think it's a bit of a grey area as you say however it is a bit of a running theme at the moment I.e. picking child up with a huge nappy (often leaked). Usually only wee though.

Felt bad as I hadn't brought any nappies with me as I was just popping him in the car and driving the 5 mins home. But then his bum was a little sore when we got back so I don't think he'd just poo'd the second I arrived.

Take this as a huge sign- change nurseries. That's awful.

ItsThatTimeAgainXmas · 25/10/2023 20:01

rainyskylight · 25/10/2023 19:44

At DDs nursery when she was in nappies she was notorious for a 5pm poo. I felt so bad once at their changing her that I said I was only 5 mins from home (pram, not even a tight car seat) but they insisted on changing her. They made me feel bad at the suggestion! There was no option for us changing her there ourselves and they would not have let us.

This is how it should be and how our wonderful nursery is too. OP this is basics- trust your instincts and your DH and get your child moved.

LimePi · 25/10/2023 20:01

If you regularly pick him up with huge nappy it’s a sign they are not doing their job properly (not just at pick up but this would concern me they aren’t charging nappies often enough during the day). You need to raise it with nursery manager.

tealweasel · 25/10/2023 20:46

This has happened to me a few times, I always offer to do it myself and the staff always insist on doing it. I think they might have a policy requiring them to do all changes on-site.

BertieBotts · 26/10/2023 17:45

Oh OK. Well I only used one nursery in the UK (plus did work experience at another, years ago) and I have used three in Germany. Perhaps it is a cultural difference, but IME all of these have allowed parents in (at set pickup times, not traipsing through all day every day). Yes of course discretion is expected if a child is being changed, but usually the changing area is in private anyway, not in full view of the whole nursery.

PerspiringElizabeth · 26/10/2023 17:48

I’d feel weird having someone else change the child while I’m right there. Just seems an odd dynamic. So I would either do it in the car before heading home, or ask if there’s a place I can change them before we leave.