To think it never ends?

[chatenoire]

My life never seems to slow down (in many aspects).

For example our house definitely needs money: new carpets, new TV, storage, etc...I work from home and as the main "breadwinner" I find it depressing that I have to move from the kitchen to one of the DCs rooms.

All the admin can be overwhelming, ordering stuff for the DC, being their taxi, etc... I even told my daughter that I wouldn't regularly take her to a club on Sunday because I don't have 3 hours to spare.

I feel like the weekends are either for doing all the house chores we couldn't do during the week, or the admin (like post office or banks), weekly shop... The day I'd like to do nothing, we have to do something "fun" with the DC and that eats a good chunk of the day.

I'd like to have the carrot of knowing that I'll have a nice holiday but as it stands, I don't know if we can afford one considering the expenses to make this house more of a home.

Financially I think we're doing OK but I get easily overwhelmed. My DM thinks it's just the way it is, but I think it's very rich of her considering she had a live in cleaner, a nanny, and a gardener. Plus, she never had to worry about a mortgage as she lived mortgage free!

You don’t need a printer! They will bring it. Free service as well, it’s great. And if you need to buy postage online it tends to be cheaper than in person.

I do find when WFH you can feel more cramped up in your home, or atleast I did. It then becomes work AND home. I'm still working when the kids come in and Chuck their stuff everywhere then I finish it's a rush to cook dinner / clubs etc and the house just gets overlooked. Also with me being in house, it never seems to stay tidy & clean.
I've become so strangled by my home that I've been nit-picking everything (walls need painting/moving all the furniture around/change of furniture etc) I've taken a week off work in a few weeks to just focus on getting rid of the junk that seems to be piling up everywhere!
I do escape to the gym 3x a week thankfully - otherwise I would go insane

I am in a similar situation and recently was diagnosed with a medical condition that has slowed my life down. In order to stay on top of things I had to make a few changes

• grocery shopping online (lots of places offer free delivery Iceland, Morrisons via Amazon etc
• Using the slow cooker to batch cook meals (this will save you time preparing dinner every night and gives you back a few hours)
• daily clothes washing - this makes a big difference, staying on top of washing means is it not a massive task of a weekend
• daily cleaning - I clean one different room a day this means I never have to waste hours on a weekend doing a big clean
• A dishwasher - this was my life saver, I wait till it’s full before switching on but no more countless hours stood at the sink washing dishes 3-4 times a day
• Returning stuff I have bought online - I use the locker option to return - I put my returns in the car so that I can do this at my leisure whenever I pass a return locker

I wouldn't compare to your mother that doesn't sound like anyone I know. Likewise some will be much worse off than you with commute or second jobs. But I think modern life is a bit of a con - being a housewife was / is a full time job, but we are now trying to do another actual full time job on top of that! I find weekends aren't really leisure time they're mainly spent getting ready for the following week. I think we need to re-evaluate - a four day working week would be a start.

Might it help to find some hobbies you can share with your DC? For example we go swimming as a family because we all enjoy it, or is there a park run near you that you might all enjoy?

If no one is helping you with cleaning then I would cut back on treats and spend it on a cleaner. The trouble with feeling overwhelmed is that the task becomes too big to tackle and then becomes more overwhelming.
that way you look at a cleaner house and more downtime.

I would seriously look into online shopping as well.

I get like this sometimes, life seems to get a bit much. I find myself getting quite ratty some evenings. I think that’s completely normal when you’re in the thick of it but important to realise that this is how you’re feeling and what you can do immediately to remove some stresses.

My DH thinks I do too much with our DC as we don’t have a day spare with their and our activities.

Would it be helpful to your mental health to find an activity for yourself and stick to it? Both me and DH have physical activities that we stick to on certain days. I wouldn’t cope without it!

Have you tried a cleaning routine? We do the organised mum method which really helps me to get the basics done and I find it keeps me on track to not get the house in a state (we’re a family of 5). On our fridge we have a chart for each day for the children that include making bed, teeth, reading, putting their clean clothes away and a couple of cleaning jobs per week.

Each child has chores in our house which they do for pocket money, no chores no pocket money (we don’t give a massive amount) oldest does the dishwasher and the recycling, middle child pairs the socks (because I hate it) and helps with the big shop and we have a small baby.

DH and I work for our holidays too we need something to look forward to and actively make a plan to ensure we save enough to be able to do this. We recently had a sun holidays caravan stay .. we found it reasonably priced and we enjoyed just taking lots of games to play together.

It does sound like you’re in the thick of it. Hope you manage to find something that pulls you through.

Good advice though! Despite the essay 😉

Totally feel this. Mine are 5 and 2, so pretty full on - feels like I get an hour a day to myself when they are in bed, and that is taken up by the online shop, some mending, packed lunches etc. Am telling myself it gets easier as they get older!