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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas

53 replies

Kiwifruit1 · 25/10/2023 06:59

Hi. I'm wondering out of curiosity..is it acceptable to give £5 to a niece or nephew as their gift? If you work full time or live at home. Is £5 for their only niece or nephew acceptable?

I'm curious.

Thankyou 😊

OP posts:
ElevenSeven · 25/10/2023 07:04

There’s no minimum or maximum with gifts. You spend what you can afford, and what you’d like to give within this parameter.

Girasoli · 25/10/2023 07:08

There's no minimum or maximum. Last year we did family secret santa with my DBro and his partner (I can't remember if the limit was £5 or £10) and the DC joined in too. DS2 got a nice wooden shaker and I can't remember what DS1 got, maybe a book - but both were happy with their gifts.

Desecratedcoconut · 25/10/2023 07:09

I think it's a bit miserly if you have a healthy bank balance, otherwise it's fine.

PuttingDownRoots · 25/10/2023 07:11

A £5 carefully chosen gift is better than £500 on stuff they don't want or will never use.

Guiltyfeethavegotnorhythm0 · 25/10/2023 07:13

I wouldn't give a gift of £5 in money . A gift to the value of £5 is nicer .

Changingplace · 25/10/2023 07:15

Any gift should be accepted with thanks.

Ormonde · 25/10/2023 07:15

It’s perfectly ok to give whatever you can afford, and it’s greedy to question the value of a gift. If the person is well off it’s a bit miserly to only give £5, but at the end of the day you don’t know what income or bills they have.

Changingplace · 25/10/2023 07:15

PuttingDownRoots · 25/10/2023 07:11

A £5 carefully chosen gift is better than £500 on stuff they don't want or will never use.

Agreed, I wish my in-laws would keep this thought in their minds!

FrogSplash · 25/10/2023 07:16

Definitely agree that spending £5 in a way that makes it look more (bargain hunting, nice wrapping etc) is better than a fiver stuck in a card.

Awaiting the drip feed though that this is someone asking on behalf of their DC who they feel have been swindled by an aunt/uncle living with parents who hasn't bought anything bigger...

ElevenSeven · 25/10/2023 07:16

Changingplace · 25/10/2023 07:15

Any gift should be accepted with thanks.

Absolutely

Mumaway · 25/10/2023 07:17

We agreed several years ago not to do gifts for nieces and nephews- they all ended up with cheap tat just for the sake of it. Saved us all money and time.

00100001 · 25/10/2023 07:19

You shouldn't be so ungrateful. Your child's and your response should be "thank you. Well let you know what we buy with it".

MintJulia · 25/10/2023 07:20

Any gift should be given freely, and accepted gracefully. The monetary value is completely irrelevant.

I think it depends on the age of the child. My ds when 4yo would have preferred a plastic gun from the £ shop to unwrap on xmas morning. At 15yo he prefers cash as he is saving for a new laptop.

Onceuponaheartache · 25/10/2023 07:21

A gift should be accepted with grace and gratitude irrespective of its value. Any other behaviour is grabby and entitled

hattie43 · 25/10/2023 07:21

It's not much but If it's all you can afford it's all you can afford .

RoyalImpatience · 25/10/2023 07:22

Children absolutely love money and being able to choose. Is there anything nicer than that movement of money from a card.
I loved it as always child and my dc absolutely love money as well.

Put 5 in a card absolutely. Remember many aunts and uncles don't bother at all.

Coffeerum · 25/10/2023 07:22

I would expect a £5 from a school friend at a birthday party or something. I have always spent more than that on nieces abs nephews and their aunts and uncles have always been generous with mine.

MarathonBarbie · 25/10/2023 07:24

If my children received a fiver from an aunt or uncle they’d appreciate the gift as would I. If I was the giver and that’s what I felt appropriate to give due to whatever circumstances I’d hope it’d be received in the spirit in which it was given.

Zanatdy · 25/10/2023 07:24

Seems low to me but everyone has different budgets as they may have multiple people to buy for, or don’t believe in spending a fortune.

RoyalImpatience · 25/10/2023 07:24

I suppose it depends on age of child as well and as pp said the size of the bank account.

Our sil bank is huge she's very very wealthy, both are infact my sil and his ds.

Neither have dc and we are always told how well they are doing and yet neither give anything at all.
5 would be stingy in comparison to their wealth however to me... To the dc they would love it.

BlackJumpsuit · 25/10/2023 07:31

If it's a teen then a £5 coffee shop voucher would go down well.

BrokenWoken · 25/10/2023 07:33

This is a very difficult question to answer because there will always be two camps: one saying it's absolutely fine; and the other saying it's too little. In truth, it depends on what you can afford and - although this next one matters less - what your family is like.

For example, I'm a relatively newish mum. My little one has started attending bday parties and I looked on MN to see how much I should spend on kids' presents, and from most people's replies I figured out £5 from a B&M store would do it (that's what most parent's responses were on here). However, months later, I can see that most mums of my DCs friends spend £10-15 and I live in a region that's regarded as having one of the highest poverty rates in the UK! So, for me, £5 would be too little in my group of mums, but you're dealing with your family so the big question is whether or not it till be okay or not okay with them. I don't think MN responses can help because it's all very subjective.

ElevenSeven · 25/10/2023 07:34

I suppose it depends on age of child as well and as pp said the size of the bank account

Cant really see how the age of the child affects it. And size of bank account doesn’t really matter either; a gift is a gift. You don’t deserve a bigger gift because (you assume!) your auntie has a healthy bank balance.

coaltitsrock · 25/10/2023 07:35

why not. It depends on so many things. impossible to say without context.

Tryingtohelp12 · 25/10/2023 07:37

Yes just do what you can afford - it makes no sense to get in debt. The children won’t remember and will get lots of other gifts anyways. Look at Argos 2 for £15 for some good options x

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