To correct my boss (and colleagues) on my name?

[capresesalad]

So I've recently started in a new team at work and my boss and a few of my colleagues keep pronouncing my name wrong.

It's fairly common in the country I'm from but very very unusual outside of it and it's one that people tend to either know or they don't. It is difficult to spell and I'm not particularly precious about it being spelt wrong (although on teams or email I do feel it's polite to take 30 seconds to double check the name).

But it's not difficult to pronounce. I know that's easy for me to say but its said the same sounds as other quite common names. Think Anna being like Hannah.

I told my parents about it and my dad told me to correct him sooner rather than later before it sticks but my mum says to leave it.

Other people pronounce my name correctly and I've introduced myself to him or said my own name a few times. I don't want to be rude or difficult but it does bother me.

Definitely correct them. If I'm dealing with a colleague for the first time with a name I don't know how to pronounce, I ring and ask them

I don't use teams much, but I've seen people with pronouns after their name in brackets. That must be a user editable field somewhere.

Could you use that bit so it says (An-Nah) rather than pronouns, that way it shows up right next to your name every time.

I’m another one, like a PP, who gets rankled every time someone says my colleague’s name incorrectly.

It’s Sari but pronounced Sarry but at work she is universally known as Sahri (which is how I’d say it if I hadn’t listened when she told me her name). I don’t get why she doesn’t correct people - that’s not her name 🤷‍♀️.

Good luck with however you choose to tell your colleagues.

NC for this!
My name is Hannah and I spent a decade working in a country where they don't have the H sound. Despite me always pronouncing it Hannah, not one person called me it. I was always Anna.

Never bothered to pull them up on it, I don't really see it as a problem.

I used to have my status on our messenger tool set to 'it's pronounced X' because my surname is tricky. That helped.

I am white British and I live and work in the country I'm from but the team is UK wide. It's just a name specific to one of the non English countries. The sounds definitely exist in English, most people who say my name only speak English, it really is just the spelling that is difficult!

You should correct them even if it does not really bother you. To stop them doing it to other people.

Is it something along the lines of Rhiannon or Mhairi or Niamh?

Game plan is to mention it at my next team meeting if the opportunity presents itself and I don't chicken out.

Back up plan is to mention to my manager and see if it can be dispersed.

I might put it in my email/teams as an aside because I'm often emailing customers and they might just find it helpful to know!

@MargotBamborough yes that sort of vibe exactly although I would guess slightly less common. Most people know a Niamh, lots of people have never come across my name ever

OK well in that case if you are a native English speaker and you can pronounce your own name, then it is definitely not unreasonable to expect other native English speakers to be able to pronounce your name.

I would say something sooner rather than later because it's only going to get more awkward the longer it goes on for.

If you have anything that allows a quick group PM I'd just tell them in there. They'll probably be glad to know, so they don't carry on saying it wrong.

Yes, just be upfront. I worked for 26 years in the UK with an Irish first name and surname, neither of which are phonetically obvious to English speakers without some phonetic knowledge of Irish. I was entirely upfront about telling colleagues and managers the correct pronunciation in any new situation/job environment, and in correcting them if they got it wrong. I would appreciate the steer from anyone else who had a name whose correct pronunciation I was unfamiliar with.

Funny story. No one I work with can pronounce my last name. I just accept it.

Recently, my boss, who had been my boss for about five years at this point, said to me, "Margot, sorry to ask, but how exactly do you pronounce your last name?"

So I told him and he did a sort of comedy forehead slap, and explained that he had been talking about work colleagues to his adult daughter who lives in the UK and he mentioned me by my full name for some reason, and she said, "How does she spell her last name?" so he told her and she said, "Dad! You idiot! It's not pronounced like that!"

He was mortified that he had been pronouncing it wrong all these years.

I would be inclined to do it straight away with a smile and a sense of humour.

If you're on a Teams meeting and people are pronouncing your name wrong, when it's your turn to speak say (with a smile on your face) "just a quick public service announcement because I know my name is difficult to pronounce, you say it "X". And don't worry if you get it wrong again because it can be tricky and I don't mind helping you to get it right as many times as it takes".

If you're talking to someone face to face, say "before I answer that, I'm just going to correct you on my name. It's said "X". And don't worry because lots of people get it bit wrong at first amd I don't mind helping them to get it right."

Etc.

My name is Irish, spelt the Gaelic way, so not phonetically “English.” I was born in London so I have a London accent. Growing up, people thought I was foreign, so would rudely say my name was weird and what I’m I called for short etc. Then when I would respond in my cockney accent, slow and condescending how to pronounce my name, and were they not able to do something quite simple? If they continued being rude, I’d say, just because I’m white and you’re white doesn’t mean you’re not being racist. Now obviously in 2023 in London there are so many wonderful names, and lo and behold, I’m able to pronounce them all.

When it's your turn to speak, introduce yourself.
That way they get to hear your name said. Do it every time : "hi, <name> here" and then talk.
If your name is spelt wrong on the teams, text the host and ask them to change it. You could suggest they include a phonetic pronunciation of your name too "as I know it looks tricky"

I finally had to tell my boss that I couldn't stand what he was doing to my French surname and it is not a difficult one for English speakers. I mean I wasn't focussing on the pure French u sound or anything but a long o instead was fairly bad. I could see it going on for years if I didn't say something. He took it well.

This is a good approach.

Do you have any suggestions for how to handle it when people spell your name wrong?

Not very wrong, just, for example, addressing every email to Stephanie when your email signature clearly says Stefanie.

Would you suck it up, or say something?

Tell him - I have a few Polish people working for me and worry I am pronouncing names incorrectly but it’s embarrassing to ask when they have already introduced themselves and I’ve not picked it up properly

I am guessing Ciaomhe - Eva but with a K?

I do a "it's actually pronounced xxx" as my name is often mispronounced. If they say "omg so sorry" I then reassure them I'm not bothered and it's a common mistake etc.
Do this the next time someone says "hannah what do you think" or something ideally at the start of a meeting when doing intros.
People often don't listen. So you may need to do this a few times.

Caoimhe would be my guess too.

In which case I can completely understand why people can't pronounce it the first time, but it's not hard to learn.

The next time you speak you simply say, "My name is sometimes mistaken for xxxx but it's pronounced ggggg." Then continue with what you were going to say.

@MargotBamborough I have, in the past, misspelled people's names back. It annoys me even more when it's someone else with a "difficult" name - where's the solidarity!

Not to customers or anyone high stakes but it's my own passive and ineffectual way of making my point