Neighbour screaming at kids (and sounded like she hit them)

[storypushers]

Just that really. Thin walls. We've heard plenty of shouting at kids and they will definitely have heard us. Tonight seemed different though. She sounded very out of control. Kids were crying, obviously distressed not just being 'naughty'. It sounds like she hit one of them (or both of them) a few times. (I think). Their crying got louder. She was shouting 'you've ruined another fucking night'. As I said just out of control. I know kids push buttons but it sounded far worse than the usual 'get to bed' 'put your shoes on' etc.
is this the kind of thing people report? Who would I even go to with this? Is this normal? Any advice?
For content she's late 20s and the kids are 8 and 6.

Yeah how terrible, people looking out for children possibly being abused. Jesus indeed. 🙄

Please don't talk to the neighbour.

A) well spoken people who are charming can still abuse their children. As can people who fit all the middle class characteristics (well dressed, clean home, nice manners, enough money etc...)

B) it can make abuse worse

C) it isn't your place to judge or investigate. All this 2+2=5 nonsense. By reporting you are just saying 2+2, someone else does the calculation.

D) you can really open yourself up for abuse by interfering.

OP reporting was the right thing to do,

Omg i could have written this!
And the person who made the call has shouted at her own baby, whom she had since then how many times!
She talks to her older child like rubbish the wording I mean. Her child would never come to her and constantly talk etc like mine she has obviously learnt not to.
She is ok with them when they are quiet but not when they cry and whinge etc as children do. She also after a row where she nearly took the communal front door off how hard she slammed it, and I told her not to do that again, particularly as I had been reported for banging doors, she said she will do the *uck what she wants. So to prove a point, it is far too obvious. Since then she slams her own flat door.
In terms of disturbance they make plenty, as the flat is occupying more than it was meant to, and we get disturbed by their television which her bf has no respect when he comes here to put it up loud at night, when there are kids in bed.

So no tit for tat there, but if anyone got reported and someone was behaving like that it would make anyone angry, she is very smug with it too.
I have the same thing when someone bangs on the front door now.
So she has also been reported, to the police council and landlord and I am looking forward to some improvement sometime soon, because it has really affected me and my health.

She has often in the past said things to her eldest around others and thinks that because she is straight up and says it in front of people it's ok.

When her eldest said she was going to tell her teacher something, it could have been trivial on that occasion, because my DC says it a lot at the moment even for things like telling him to turn his programmes off or asking him to do something.
She told her daughter ok and if you do that you know what will happen to you, you will get taken away 🫣🫣 I can't believe someone would say that to a child.

When her daughter and her bf's two kids were all together, I think they put a bottle or something in the babies cot, like a water bottle or something. She couldn't get anything out of them, so she told them she would call the police 🤦‍♀️ they then confessed, but still what a thing to say, to 7/8/9 year olds maximum.

Don't worry people will get their karma!!

But people will put their nose in where it suits and yet ignore other things.

??????

So you have reason to suspect someone was hitting their children, as well as screaming and swearing at them? But that's ok is it?

I know we all lose it with our kids sometimes, myself included, but to lose it at that level is not acceptable. If it is a one off this might be the wake up call she needs to change her behaviour and get more support if she is struggling. If it isn't then it will help build a picture.

I'd like to know what you would suggest the OP does.

What the multiple people who work in safeguarding giving sound advice on how best to protect vulnerable and potentially abused children? Yeah, you're absolutely right, what awful people they are 🙄

So say their is a cultural difference? Are you being slightly prejudice without meaning to be?

You are joking right. Does anyone remember even recent cases that came up in the news/videos online.
Where a boy had been abused over a period of time, neighbours had made a few calls, yet professionals still didn't deal with it before his death.
They say oh some mothers/parents are good at covering things up, or manipulating the services lol.
Well from what I have seen and experienced, they pick on those they know they can and those who they will get a response from.

🤦‍♀️ I can hear my neighbours room door creak when they open it, and also when they switch the light on. Normal conversations too which my neighbour talks very loud, and was somebody who knocked because of noise, but they don't think what can be heard my side.
There is alot of hypocrisy in this world.

That wasn't through the lack of neighbours reporting, especially in a few cases revealed.

I didn’t mean it like that, I just literally meant if it may be loud enough to be recordable as potential evidence if this parent is actually hitting her kids.

Hence I said hopefully... I'm aware that children are let down at every step by the authorities but the least someone can do is report their concerns. I don't know what the answer is to ensuring social services and other bodies actually deal wit these cases accordingly but it starts with concerns having been reported.

@heartbroken22 People like you are the reason I was nearly killed as a child MULTIPLE times in my own home. Every neighbour within 100ft of our home heard but did fuck all.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

The amount of people who knew but 'kept out of it' is sickening.

(Our neighbours even saw me running up the street in my nightie age 4, crying with my Dad chasing me carrying his belt but still^ did fuck all. I very very very^ nearly died once and yet still nothing was done).

Also a slight deviation from the topic but just an FYI: Please don't ever assume that because a family still has both natural parents who are married and own their home or are middle class, that the kids won’t be getting beaten/abused because that's utter nonsense! My parents were married 46 years (before my Dad passed) they owned our very nice home, had 2 cars and we had holidays in Canada etc. Yet we were in just as much of a dangerous environment as any stereotypical at-risk child's family set up.

Sorry for the tangent but I felt it relevant

This attitude ⬆️ is the problem with society <shakes head in disgust>

Also did you not see the part where OP says that it was very clear that the kids were hit multiple times???? Unbelievable

999
Wish people had done so when I was a kid

@PabloandGustheGreySquirrels really sorry that you had to grow up with that, really. But this situation is completely different to yours, and so what would have been appropriate responses to your obvious abuse are not necessarily going to be appropriate here.

This!

My DD had one of the same Primary School teachers I did and I had to stop myself from asking her why nobody did anything when I was coming to school covered in bruises.

How is it any different?? How do you know that for a fact? Yes my neighbours saw me running away once but aside from that they still fucking heard me being screamed at and hit yet still did nothing!!! Tell me how that is different to this???? I'll wait

As a one off? Sounds OTT to report.

Frequently? Report.

Can you imagine if we all reported when someone shouted at their kids? That would bog down the services who are supposed to protect children, surely. I think that's supposed to be for serious concerns - not, a mum was at the end of her tether and dropped an f word.

It's not illegal to smack children in England - lots of people on this thread seem to be forgetting that. And we're not even sure she WAS smacking them.

I didn't hear it, OP, so obviously you have to make the judgement call. Personally, from what you have said, I would only report this if it was happening regularly.

Because as far as we're aware, this is a one off incident. Your abuse was clearly not a one off. It's quite a reach to assume that this incident is comparably severe. Your excessive use of punctuation suggests that this thread is getting you quite worked up, gently you might want to consider muting this thread if the subject matter is distressing you.

@PabloandGustheGreySquirrels above

What do you all think the point of reporting is? Do you imagine that reporting results in an arrest and immediate removal of children ?

Or do you understand that it triggers checks and verifications, adding up of dots if other reports are flagged from other agencies - and sometimes support for struggling parents too.

OP is clear that shouting occurs regularly, she is clear that this was a high escalation from the usual shouting, and that she thinks children may have been hit multiple times.

Do NOT talk to someone you think might have done this about it - this can make abuse worse!
Always report. It's sounds like a horrible environment for the children and all you are doing is flagging it up. Hopefully you are completely wrong. It is everyone's responsibility to safeguard.

Name-changed for this.

I had a decent neighbour who was a childminder, all great at first.
Once she became pregnant with her 3rd everything went up in the air.

She was routinely shouting, swearing and awful to (her) kids.

Any paid charges were treated wonderfully, but her own children must have thought that their first name was "fucking".

The thing that triggered me, the youngest had obviously wet the bed overnight.
I was upstairs, there was a lot of shouting, verbal abuse and crying. I'm not certain if the child as being hit, so I couldn't say - but I think so. Then heard her say "You're a dirty fucking bitch and I wish you'd never been born".

I made an appointment and spoke to the Head at Primary school to keep an eye on the welfare of the older 2.
For me it was a step towards going too far and I wanted it flagged early.

Apologies if you think I'm wrong but my gut instinct was strong enough.

@Divinespark
I don't mean to be at all but I'm from a country where parents (fathers) can do pretty much whatever they like to their children and there is absolutely no authorities to step in. I'm just getting used to this country and the rules and what is perceived as normal.