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Original poster

This would be creepy yes?

101 replies

swallowme · 24/10/2023 07:35

Was at a family wedding Saturday. I was driving so sober. Seen a guy I thought was really handsome, thought I seen him look at me a few times (I was sober but could still be completely delusional/it be nothing). He didn't have a date.

He was speaking to my brother a lot but other than that he didn't seem to speak to many people. As I was leaving I gave my brother a lift for cigarettes and he said, 'oh that's so and so, he's a lovely guy' blah blah. So I got his name.

Looked him up on Facebook. Would it be weird/creepy to add him? It would be wouldn't it? Especially cause we didn't speak to one another?

OP posts:
CesareBorgia · 24/10/2023 07:36

Can't you get your brother to introduce you?

Original poster
swallowme · 24/10/2023 07:38

CesareBorgia · 24/10/2023 07:36

Can't you get your brother to introduce you?

Not really, he only knows him from the stag do.

OP posts:
dudsville · 24/10/2023 07:39

It's a weird move, like you don't want to show your interested but are showing you're interested. I like the pp's idea, ask your brother to introduce you. They actually met and spoke so he can do this via fb if needs must. Failing that, if you go via fb, i think you'd need to message him.

dudsville · 24/10/2023 07:40

swallowme · 24/10/2023 07:38

Not really, he only knows him from the stag do.

Show quote history

That's enough though

NotAKangaroo · 24/10/2023 07:41

Ask your brother to arrange something, like a post wedding get together for those at the stag do, plus others. Then you'll have the opportunity to be around him again. This time, talk to him!

annonymousandlikeit · 24/10/2023 07:41

Just be upfront - I saw you at the wedding, and wanted to say hello, but felt too shy. I wonder if you would like to meet up for a drink?

TheCoffeeMrsAndMama · 24/10/2023 07:43

I wouldn't add him but maybe just send him a message explaining how you saw him talking to your brother at the wedding and you got his name etc and you would like to get to know him or have a chat 🤷‍♀️ he either responds or he doesn't but we all gotta make friends somehow.

IceCreamSundaeCat · 24/10/2023 07:45

You could be a bit sneaky and message him asking if your brother's version of the stag do was correct!

CalistoNoSolo · 24/10/2023 07:50

If you like him and you think he likes you just message him and ask him to meet for coffee. It's creepy to stalk him on FB, not in the slightest creepy to approach him directly.

Jewelspun · 24/10/2023 07:50

He's not interested.

He looked over at you but didn't follow it up.

He spoke to your brother so could have asked him who you were and ascertained if you single and then make a move. He didn't.

LylaLee · 24/10/2023 07:53

Jewelspun · 24/10/2023 07:50

He's not interested.

He looked over at you but didn't follow it up.

He spoke to your brother so could have asked him who you were and ascertained if you single and then make a move. He didn't.

This one.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 24/10/2023 08:06

Jewelspun · 24/10/2023 07:50

He's not interested.

He looked over at you but didn't follow it up.

He spoke to your brother so could have asked him who you were and ascertained if you single and then make a move. He didn't.

Was going to post something very similar to this.

He would have come over and spoken to you or her was interested.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 24/10/2023 08:06

*if he was

Bloody autocorrect!

looking4pup · 24/10/2023 08:09

@TheCoffeeMrsAndMama

If someone I'd never spoken too found me on Facebook (how did she know his surname) snd said they would like to get to know me or have a chat I'd be WTF. This definitely sounds creepy.

LylaLee · 24/10/2023 08:12

I know everyone is all for being modern, but the evidence suggests that when a man is interested in someone he'll ask around. "Who's that, is she single? Can you introduce us?"

If he's meh about you, and you fling yourself at him, he'll happily keep you as a placeholder until someone he really fancies comes along.

TheCoffeeMrsAndMama · 24/10/2023 08:12

looking4pup · 24/10/2023 08:09

@TheCoffeeMrsAndMama

If someone I'd never spoken too found me on Facebook (how did she know his surname) snd said they would like to get to know me or have a chat I'd be WTF. This definitely sounds creepy.

Maybe if it was a complete and utter stranger yes however this guy saw the OP at the wedding and knows the OP saw him talking to her brother so it isn't going to take a genius to figure out. It is very easy to get someone's surname when you're at a wedding full of people who know that person

Original poster
swallowme · 24/10/2023 08:17

LylaLee · 24/10/2023 08:12

I know everyone is all for being modern, but the evidence suggests that when a man is interested in someone he'll ask around. "Who's that, is she single? Can you introduce us?"

If he's meh about you, and you fling yourself at him, he'll happily keep you as a placeholder until someone he really fancies comes along.

Yeah you're right. I'm just going to leave it.

OP posts:
MasterBeth · 24/10/2023 08:20

Jewelspun · 24/10/2023 07:50

He's not interested.

He looked over at you but didn't follow it up.

He spoke to your brother so could have asked him who you were and ascertained if you single and then make a move. He didn't.

Are you all 12 years old?

The OP was interested but didn't summon up the courage to talk. The guy could have been the same. How can you possibly know that wasn't the case?!

Beeinalily · 24/10/2023 09:48

I disagree with the other posters. Adding him on FB isn't a big deal, and it puts the ball in his court - he can ignore the request if he's not interested, after all.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 24/10/2023 10:06

Agree with @MasterBeth go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose

StrangePaintName · 24/10/2023 10:09

MasterBeth · 24/10/2023 08:20

Are you all 12 years old?

The OP was interested but didn't summon up the courage to talk. The guy could have been the same. How can you possibly know that wasn't the case?!

Show quote history

This. I would message, say you were too shy to approach him at the wedding, and ask if he’d like to go out for a drink.

Stupidliefromfriend · 24/10/2023 10:11

The replies are so ott here. Just add him. For all he knows you add everyone. Then see if he strikes up a conversation. Above all make a deal with yourself that you dgaf either way.

Maddy70 · 24/10/2023 10:13

Just do it. What do you have to lose?

Ryansmrs · 24/10/2023 10:23

Can your brother add him to his Facebook first then you "like" some of the same things as him. Then you add him as a friend and maybe send a private message, saying he came up on your friend suggestions list as he's friends with your brother and ask if he enjoyed the wedding etc take it from there and see if he wants to meet up? I know it's long winded but it sounds like you are shy and maybe he is too. Not all men have the courage to approach someone they are interested in, you'll soon find out if he wants to take things further.

StarDolphins · 24/10/2023 10:30

If someone that I hadn’t spoken to contacted my on FB I would find it creepy & off putting. Even if they smiled/looked over. I think it comes across as a bit desperate.

I might mention to be brother that I liked the look of him but I personally wouldn’t do further than this.