Do all kids have tantrums? And when do they start?

[Nurseywl]

Bit anxious about managing this on my own with dc. Been a mild tempered baby so far. I’m already exhausted and stressed and not sure how to cope if these become full blown.

Well they don't usually start as full blown tantrums, they grow into them, starting with small ones. I think at 18 months I remember thinking "hell of a tantrum kid!" And then he got to 2.... 🫣

DS started tantrums at age 2 and they continued till he started school. At their worst age 2 and 3

DD never did tantrums at all.

Most kids do I think - though my DM says I never did but my DBro did.

DS1 only ever had a few - aged around 1.5/2, DS2 was a really calm toddler but has lots of tantrums now at 3.

I can tell you as a parent with older kids, they still kick off every now and then, mine still fight and it’s just a case of picking your battles

Ds had a few around 2. Not all do though.

Neither of mine were big on tantrums. The odd wobbler but certainly nothing on the “wall out of the supermarket leaving your trolley behind” scale.

My son is three next month and has had maybe two full blown kicking screaming tantrums. He's generally pretty chill, though can be stroppy, hit and throw things when he's angry.

They'll all have a tantrum from time to time. It's developmentally appropriate. Some will be more intense than others, some will be longer than others, but they all do it.

What matters is how parents deal with it. I'm always a little suspicious if I ever hear a parent say their darling never had a tantrum

The vast majority do, so you should assume yes.

They are manageable. They are just heat and noise, they're not a danger to you.

Read up about how to manage/divert them, not how to stop them. Trying to stop them is a power struggle you will lose, for important developmental reasons.

My dc started round 18 months and he's two soon and they can be pretty bad. He recently screamed while lying on the floor in a garden centre because he wanted a lawnmower for 800 quid 🤣 my husband just picked him up and brought him outside. It's all you can do really is ride it out.

DS1 didn’t ever have tantrums - he was a dream toddler. DS2 was much more tricky from the moment he was mobile. He’s still quite volatile now at 7!

Maybe about 18 months? I'd recommend googling big little feelings, although she's 4 now and I do feel like their guide is less usable now (I still okay the feeling, but sometimes threats of not going to their friends house etc are the only thing that works to get them out the door) it was a game changer when they are little toddlers. It helped me to know the science behind why they tantrum, and how to help calm the situation rather than provoke it.

No I don't think they all do, my DS didn't, nothing to do with my parenting I just think he was an incredibly chilled baby/toddler and we were very lucky.

DS1 I think had a couple (although nothing awful - just of the lying in the middle of the road refusing to move variety) when he was between 1 and 2, but DS2 I don't remember tantrumming ever.

Certainly nothing from either of them that stands out.. Neither of them even went through a 'no' phase, so I presume they're saving the horrors up for their teenage years instead.

18 mths till about 3.

My son is 3 and we are yet to have any.
My daughter is 13 months and we have had many already!

My now 6 year old didn't even have a proper tantrum phase, but did have a phase of what I'd describe as silent tantrums from age 2-3, where he would curl up in a ball and become non-verbal for periods of time. He did grow out of them, but this and many other things lead me to believe he's not neurotypical.

Having worked with young children tantrums for the majority are totally normal, and just something you have to ride out. I'd never judge another parent who was having to deal with one in public as there's nothing really you can do about it.

All will have tantrums to some extent, because that's just part of the process of learning to regulate emotions, handle frustration, etc. BUT they vary massively in intensity and nature, so much so that I can't even remember my younger son's tantrums whereas my older son's tantrums were a nightmare.
In my experience, the intensity or otherwise of tantrums is evident from babyhood -- chilled baby equals chilled toddler equals chilled older child, etc. But I'm sure others will have different experiences.

According to my gran I never had tantrums. My cousin however broke her glass porch door!

(I think, though, that I am defining tantrums more broadly than other posters. I guess I could equally have said that my younger son didn't have tantrums - because his little fits of frustration were mild and maneagable and didn't cause him(or me!) distress.)

My DS is 2.5 and is much more chilled now than he was between 1 and 2.

Yes if he’s upset/ doesn’t want to do something he will do some distraught wailing. But he recovers quickly.

I’ve never had the lying on the supermarket floor kicking and screaming (that’s what I was worried about!). know at 2.5 there is still time for that… but he seems to be getting more reasonable rather than less.

One of mine had a terrible phase of this, we would have 2 days a week or so where he'd tantrum for about an hour. The other one probably only had 2-3 tantrums in total.

I remember DS aged 18months threw himself on the floor in a hotel room and started beating the ground because we wouldn't let him play with a glass ashtray.

It was so unexpected that we both started laughing instinctively- must have done the trick because I don't recall him doing it again.

First child No.
second child, a few around the 2-3 years old.
third child-lots but they’re autistic.

My eldest has ADHD and her challenging behaviour was evident from an early age. Like a head banging breath holding biting angry baby 😊

the youngest was calm and chilled and never had a tantrum. She would sulk though