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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you?

72 replies

thunderlump · 23/10/2023 18:27

Would you judge a mother who was sat in a pub, early afternoon, having a wine and reading a book while she had a infant with her?

OP posts:
Wonkasworld · 23/10/2023 18:55

Walk a mile in her shoes 🍷

Coldinscotland · 23/10/2023 18:55

Possibly. Passed a couple pouring drinks the other week at a seaside wine bar. Very new baby absolutely hysterical.. They didn't bat an eye in it's direction.. Made me quite enraged... And I am no snowflake..

BadgerFace · 23/10/2023 18:56

One of my favourite things/memories with DD2 was get her to sleep for the 4pm nap on a Friday in the buggy on the way to DD1’s nursery pick up and then have a pint in the sunshine with a book. It was a short phase but glorious. (And it would be quicker to get her to hospital on the bus than try and drive at that time of day where we live!!)

funinthesun19 · 23/10/2023 18:56

AppropriateAdult · 23/10/2023 18:53

Actually, this is one scenario where I think a man drinking pints with a baby beside him would be absolutely assumed to be a deadbeat. Whereas a mum with a glass of wine and a book - not so much,

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I was just about to say the same thing. A man in a pub with his baby while drinking a pint certainly wouldn’t be called a genius anyway.

soundsys · 23/10/2023 18:57

NotSuchASmugMarried · 23/10/2023 18:41

Yes I would. How would they get the child to hospital if they've been drinking.

Eh? What are the chances of them needing to take the child to hospital? How do you know the pub isn't right next to the hospital? Or that the mum can even drive? What a bizarre comment

OP, I would think you were winning at life 😁

Wendysfriend · 23/10/2023 18:58

I don't see what people are drinking, I walk in, go to the bar, sit down have my drink and talk with whoever I'm with, I do be amazed at how people can scan a room in seconds and know every detail of everything.

Takacupokindnessyet · 23/10/2023 18:59

No I'd be jealous

shellyleppard · 23/10/2023 19:00

Thunderlump.....no I wouldn't judge her in the slightest. I wish I had the energy to do this when my two were small. 🤷‍♀️❤️

WeWereInParis · 23/10/2023 19:00

NotSuchASmugMarried · 23/10/2023 18:41

Yes I would. How would they get the child to hospital if they've been drinking.

My DH isn't allowed to drive due to a medical condition. Should he never be allowed alone with the children?

Merryoldgoat · 23/10/2023 19:04

funinthesun19 · 23/10/2023 18:56

I was just about to say the same thing. A man in a pub with his baby while drinking a pint certainly wouldn’t be called a genius anyway.

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If I saw a man alone with a sleeping baby drinking a pint with a book I would absolutely not have a negative view.

Frankinbeans · 23/10/2023 19:06

Yeah I would.

Agree with PP - if this was a man bringing a young child to the pub to have a pint while reading the newspaper, people wouldn't be calling him a genius.

Nowherenew · 23/10/2023 19:08

If the baby was asleep - fine and I wouldn’t judge.

If the baby was awake but being ignored - then I would judge them.

IDoughnutKnow · 23/10/2023 19:11

thunderlump · 23/10/2023 18:27

Would you judge a mother who was sat in a pub, early afternoon, having a wine and reading a book while she had a infant with her?

I probably would judge her. I am all in favour of wine, but I don't see the need for it in the early afternoon while taking care of an infant. It would have felt irresponsible to me when my children were young.

However, I also judge you, OP, for saying "who was sat" rather than "who was sitting".

Gerrataere · 23/10/2023 19:11

Honestly, I would. And I bloody love a relaxing glass or two of wine. It’s definitely not a sex based thing, I think anyone drinking in a random afternoon when they have a child with them is not making great choices to be honest. I’d go one step further and say if wine is the go to choice to relax on a random cold Monday afternoon then I’d be wondering fleetingly (from a strangers perspective) if they had a drinking problem. As I would any bloke drinking mid-afternoon on a weekday.

devildeepbluesea · 23/10/2023 19:13

NotSuchASmugMarried · 23/10/2023 18:41

Yes I would. How would they get the child to hospital if they've been drinking.

What an ironic post considering the user name.

OP, you go for it, sounds lovely.

WednesdaysChild50 · 23/10/2023 19:14

Nope I’ve done it myself

Maddy70 · 23/10/2023 19:14

Why would anyone judge? If the child is safe and well with a happy relaxed mum then great

devildeepbluesea · 23/10/2023 19:14

Frankinbeans · 23/10/2023 19:06

Yeah I would.

Agree with PP - if this was a man bringing a young child to the pub to have a pint while reading the newspaper, people wouldn't be calling him a genius.

That wouldn’t bother me either. Males and females are all capable of drinking to “not excess”.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 23/10/2023 19:15

thunderlump · 23/10/2023 18:27

Would you judge a mother who was sat in a pub, early afternoon, having a wine and reading a book while she had a infant with her?

As long as she bought the littlun a glass too, then ...... no 🙂

StarDolphins · 23/10/2023 19:15

NotSuchASmugMarried · 23/10/2023 18:41

Yes I would. How would they get the child to hospital if they've been drinking.

Same as I would after my 2 glasses of Prosecco I n a Friday night. Taxi or lift. Is none ever allowed to drink alcohol just incase?

GloomySkies · 23/10/2023 19:18

I've done it. DC1 went to a preschool next door to a nice pub. Extremely rarely, DC2 would be asleep in the buggy and I would walk down early and have a drink in peace. I basically never drank in the evening because I was too tired after the dinner and bedtime routines so I never considered one small drink on a rare afternoon problematic.

whyisswangnotaword · 23/10/2023 19:18

I wouldn't like to say I would judge exactly, but I'd probably think well.. why not at home.. I'm sure there is wine and books there also, that way the child would be comfortable in their home wk environment too, not bored at a pub.
That's assuming it's a toddler / older child.
If it's a baby.. no issues at all

Sparklesocks · 23/10/2023 19:20

No. Maybe if she was there all afternoon knocking them back!

StarDolphins · 23/10/2023 19:21

Gerrataere · 23/10/2023 19:11

Honestly, I would. And I bloody love a relaxing glass or two of wine. It’s definitely not a sex based thing, I think anyone drinking in a random afternoon when they have a child with them is not making great choices to be honest. I’d go one step further and say if wine is the go to choice to relax on a random cold Monday afternoon then I’d be wondering fleetingly (from a strangers perspective) if they had a drinking problem. As I would any bloke drinking mid-afternoon on a weekday.

In my opinion there’s no better reason than it being a random cold Monday🥂

You can never tell from a small snippet either way. Plenty saw me at the park having fun when I was a kid…except it was for 15 mins before I had to sit in a pub for 5-6 hours while my mum got absolutely steaming drunk before dropping me off at home to go out again.

CalamityA · 23/10/2023 19:23

NotSuchASmugMarried · 23/10/2023 18:41

Yes I would. How would they get the child to hospital if they've been drinking.

Good lord. Is this how you live your life?