To think a lot of posters have a really naive idea about what children’s social workers are for?

[Summermeadowflowers]

This is not aimed at any one thread, but I have noticed a trend (particularly when someone is struggling parenting a child with additional needs) that posters are urged to contact SS for ‘support.’ I do think a lot of posters think that a mere phone call away is a lovely, understanding social worker who will act as a personal friend and source of support and provide you and your family with respite care and ongoing support.

I have also noticed SS as a ‘threat’ to posters struggling with their children, that if the school notice or the nursery notice any struggles then SS will get ‘involved.’ Both these views are just impossibly naive.

It isn’t just that services are so stretched that even families where removal is a distinct possibility don’t get support, it’s also that SS involvement isn’t a good thing. It would have to be disclosed when applying for places eg at educational settings, or have them informed for a trip to A and E for instance.

And we do have free autonomy on how we parent. Someone may do something you might personally think is wrong or unwise but that doesn’t mean SS can or should be involved on that basis.

As much as serious concerns should be passed onto them, I really think some posters believe they offer support which they generally don’t, and swoop in threatening to take children on the basis of quite non serious things like PND, shouting at children, etc.

Sometimes posters have a very optimistic idea of what social services can/will actually get involved in - eg that they will swoop in over a 9 year old walking home from school alone, or a mum at toddler group ignoring her child to scroll on her phone.

There are 2 different types of social workers.

1. Disability social workers who support send children, can help with respite etc.

2. Safeguarding social workers.

I've had both. Wouldn’t wish #2 on my worst enemy! Dreadful woman who refused any support or help and who wouldn’t refer to a disability social worker, I had to separately do that myself. Did an assessment (past DV I rang 999 and got my ex removed from the house), police got them involved for support. I struggle to find 1 correct thing in her assessment. Absolutely berated my parenting, it’s in my assessment, because I confiscated my child’s mobile (that I pay for) for that 1 evening due to them not doing their chores! Complaint still ongoing and already had financial compensation for part of my complaint. Said my child has no support and I won’t get them any but they already had a councillor to deal with everything that I arranged prior to 999 call and support in place at school if needs be!

She is the one who gives parents the absolute fear and stops people asking for support, Sen or not, when struggling. It’s sad people like her cause more suffering, stress, fear and prevent correct help and support.

#1 after 2 it took me a long time, and severe anxiety relapse to boot before I dared reach out for support. Got a lovely social worker and have now got respite for my other child. I’m still incredibly anxious and fearful of them now though! And glad once respite agreed it goes to a 0-25 worker as I still struggle immensely with severe anxiety at the thought of having them involved even though they are are different team! #2 has caused untold damage to my MH.